January 14, 2014

There is Only One Relationship. ~ Keith Molyneaux

A holographic projection functions because all the information for the entire projection is available within any single, individual component of the image.

It is the same for relationships. The way a person relates to god, the source of existence, their own soul, other people, and their environment is a singular projection from within that has everything to do with how they relate to their own self.

The attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, and patterns of relationships are internal. These spiritual, mental and emotional aspects of our being are revealed in every type of relationship. It doesn’t matter if we are relating to a family member, a beloved, a child, co-worker, or stranger. The common element to all relationships, internal and external, is the same self.

How a person relates internally to their own self is reflected in every aspect of their external life.

A person who is filled with fear will respond fearfully. The person who is compassionate, will respond with understanding. The angry person will respond with rage to whatever triggers them. The critical and demeaning person who talks too much about others has a critical, demeaning internal dialogue that never stops. A loving person understands loves because they recognize and can relate to the human condition, from within.

In the spiritual community, a common idea is that a person must know how to love themselves before they are able to love another. Self-love, understanding oneself, precedes the ability to respond with love to external events and people. Without self-forgiveness and authentic self-knowledge, the tendencies that cause harm remain present.

Yet, self-love does not mean narcissism, it means a blossoming of spiritual ideals that include humility, gentleness, and truth.

The attitude of self-relationship is expressed in every relationship.

The people who have the most toxic external relationships exist within a toxic internal environment. Their spirit and aspects of self are in turmoil.

The evidence of this can be seen in the chaotic varieties of their relationships. A person who does not listen well to others is also unable to listen to their own body, mind, and intuitive guidance. The harsher a person is in their speech about other people, the more disconnected they are from their own self.

Often times, the people who have the most damaging relationships are the the people who need the most understanding because they have even more violence occurring within them self.

The traits that are expressed externally must first abide within a person. An angry person expresses anger because they feel anger. A compassionate and gentle person will not express anger, because they feel differently. And a loving person will first respond with love, and all the gentle fruits and strengths that are natural to love.

The feeling state precedes emotional expression and shapes mental perception.

A person who is relaxed in spirit will have a depth of understanding that allows what is to be what is. The person who has internal disharmony will have perspectives, attitudes and beliefs that create discord in their environment.

Many people turn to spiritual practices, meditation and yoga, because they recognize the need to grow in self-knowledge, understanding, and love.

The attitude that precedes the desire for self-improvement is going to be the same attitude a person uses in their journey. So the critical mind will then become spiritual, except remain critical. The judgmental mind will become religious, and judge other paths. And the person who has been loving all along, will only deepen their wisdom and depths of love.

Ironically, the loving person has probably not felt the need to go on a spiritual journey to discover who they are or how to be loving because they are already content, and at peace with who they are and their life.

Company is stronger than willpower.

I have yet to meet a person who is so secure in their own self that they remain aloof from influences from their environment and other people. The natural human response to discomforting scenarios is defensiveness, and the tension that arises from defense takes time to relinquish.

Even when a person knows who they are, if they are in an environment that is unsettling for them, they will eventually become unsettled and take on the qualities of what influences them.

Stressful environments create stress, and to relax and release stress takes time.

To protect and nurture the One-Relationship that resides within is essential. But the methods of doing so require the deepest strengths and convictions to nurture and protect the soul, spirit and heart, mind and body of the individual. The best truth and way to listen to others is to first embrace ones own intuitive natural knowing, and to honor that guidance even when it does not make sense.

How a person views and relates to others is a way for that person to see the invisible traits that reside within.

The benefit of disharmonious relationships is that one has the opportunity to witness personal disconnects. If there is a trigger present because of other people or circumstances, the chance to see a deeper truth within presents itself.

Ideally, when those people are family or beloved, we do not distance our self from them. Yet, to know the eternal truth of ones soul, one must still embrace and act on what truly nurtures the individual soul.

In psychology and the spiritual community, this is called projection and the mirror. The people closest to us become the mirror that we project our own attitudes, beliefs and perceptions on to. They may or may not feel or see life in the way we project.

What is important is that we are projecting, and that because this person is in our life, we can see a part of our own self that otherwise remains invisible. Unfortunately, most people attack the mirror and blame them for all kinds of things. This is a gift, because with humility and integrity, the spiritual seeker can recognize the projection and release the cause behind it.

The balanced soul brings balance.

The first priority of every individual is the responsibility to be true and in balance with their own being and existence. This is similar to saying that a person must know the truth of who they are, and their relationship with the source of existence, god. Once a person has that knowledge, they may not be enlightened, but their natural responses to other people and external events will be balanced and understanding.

The influence of a person who is balanced within creates a field of understanding and an example of how to be at peace with oneself. Even if total self-acceptance is an ideal, to recognize and relate to a person who strives in compassionate earnestly to be true to life and spiritual best, is to receive inspiration, recognition and validation for ones own truth and relationship to life.

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Assistant Editor: Karissa Kneeland/Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Alexander Silyanov


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