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February 4, 2014

Love Matters Most.

photo : jen mckelvie

Love has been ingrained in our bodies and hearts since the beginning of time.

True love has has been lost and absorbed into a quagmire of everyday successes and busyness.

Nothing in this life, at this stage of existence, can magnify what is beckoning in our deep inner being. From the wells of who we are and what we are here to do, love is the ultimate link that is our savior as mankind.

February is poised as the month of sheer love and red hearts and dark chocolate, and flowers from our significant others, and anything that spells what we feel.

I’m a believer in love, both romantic and ethereal. The word alone is powerful enough to transform people into major believers of all types of love. We write it on bridge overpasses. We send it in private and mysterious notes. We wear red lipstick and red scarves to reveal a warm and welcoming heart.

We listen to old music that stirs our souls to sway and remember what the memory was behind the lyrics. We dance closely, two warm bodies with nary a word spoken. We make love in the darkness and the light. We profess our love on big screens and in big fat novels. We post blurb after blurb of loving and inspiring words to hundreds of friends and family. We help others in ways that are transparent to what we believe.

We are sucked into a world of endless love, and I am brimming over with chills and grins just by the mere mention of how this all looks today.

Yes, love matters and it affects me. Not just this month, but every moment of every month of every year. The distances we have to go to be vulnerable, be present, be happy, be sad, be scared, be honest, be real, it’s all part of the love equation. Loving ourselves is first and foremost, not worrying about who loves us or why, but our actual inner love.

As the Wizard said to the Tin Man,

“And remember my friend, a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.”

This exceptional saying, which makes me cry and have goose bumps for the rest of the movie, is so simple and true. Often it can take longer than expected to reach that cushy existence of love, however it is written in our birthright, a predestined ecstasy individualized for all of us. Love is not a one size fits all action or feeling. It has to overcome fear and doubt and the true realization that the more we love ourselves, the more likely we are to balance our hearts and minds with excessive doses of goodness all around. Love feels like it can let us down, but that is ego.

True love never fails.

I experience the sing-to-the-top-of-your-lungs love at the oddest of times. Usually something simple will strike the chords in my heart and keep it at high decibels for the entire day.

Recently, my three year-old neighbor has had the most unconditional way of professing her arrival to the world every morning, as she shouts my name out to say “hello” before she loads into the car to head off to a day at school. Her raw and incredibly satisfying yell (usually I’m not into loud voices or yelling, but her sweet voice is music) from the base of my balcony sends my heart soaring.

She runs up to me, gives me the tightest hug around my legs, I pick her up, we talk cheek to cheek, she rests her head on my shoulder and continues to speak in her lovely little voice, then off she goes for the afternoon. Whatever was bugging me or causing me worry, or giving me reasons to overthink, this amazing small being completely melts it all away. She is pure love.

Children and animals have that unconditional capacity to just be who they are, no expectations, full of integrity, and honest to the core. It is love in the finest form.

There are no recipes for the perfect love. It actually matters more when it is imperfect and unique. I think about the bigger picture of life, my health, my family, my friends, an incredibly supportive network of writers who I truly want to meet and cajole over a cup of tea and chocolate, and it opens me up even wider.

My man recently attended a yoga conference and he was brimming over with excitement and enthusiasm for not only his involvement in the learning process, but being among such a spiritually grounded group of people. I could sense the outpouring of love from his demeanor. He recalled every inspirational and motivational saying that was given to enhance the experience, and he felt like his own yoga practice was evolving into a more solid passion and purpose. It was another shade of the beauty of love.

If we can come from a pure place in our heart, nothing more needs to happen. What matters is that we give it our all. We offer up realness and rawness. If we fall, we get back up and continue on until the love of our self becomes the main reason to be here. We don’t need to wait for Valentine’s Day. We can practice love every day.

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo: Jen Mckelvie

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