The snow howled outside today and the moon went into Taurus and all I wanted was to curl up in a ball in my favorite blanket.
I wanted to yawn and stretch and reeeeach like a cat in the sun—on occasion—and move through a few, randomly spaced out yoga sequences; I wanted to scream profoundly deep and musically affecting songs at the top of my lungs; and I felt this intense need to be held and cradled and loved—and cocooned.
And then I heard this:
It’s Neko Case’s latest, featured on (the ultimate funny man) Conan O’Brien.
And it was magic.
She croons about snow flying sideways and sleep cocoons—and my heart felt held.
I saw her once a few years back, right before I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter.
Her concert was in Bowling Green, Ohio, where I practically grew up and where I went to college; where I made my first adult home and where my heart will always—in part—reside.
It was this old movie theater that used to play seriously old films on the big screen after the (ginormous) holiday parade (a joint Thanksgiving and Christmas deal the day after turkey day). We could watch the parade from our apartment (my first one as a big girl ever) and I remember getting free popcorn and watching Wizard of Oz.
And somehow life gets hard, and we don’t expect it.
Because being a big person isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be, but we don’t have much of a choice, you know? We live because we should and we love because we have to and we move forward because going back is not only fruitless but dangerous.
I hit rewind on my Roku remote and re-watched Neko’s musical guest appearance.
And if your heart, too, needed some healing and some holding tonight, then I hope you discover this magical voice and feel held.
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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum