My No Make Up Selfie for Breast Cancer Awareness.

Via Erica Leibrandt
on Mar 23, 2014
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I’m always down to do something for a good cause, especially if it’s as easy as snapping a pic, but I have to admit, I wasn’t sure I could manage it this time.

As someone who routinely puts myself out there, you’d think this would be no big deal. I mean, if there is a chronic over-sharer—it’s me.

I’ve talked about my past drug habits, my one-time job as a stripper, my abusive ex-husband, my insecurities as a yoga teacher, as a mother, as a lover (and all the other things I am), my phobia about answering the door, my stinky dogs, the size of my butt, the egg I ate that I still feel guilty about, and everything in between.

So a no-make up selfie to help keep the conversation about breast cancer awareness relevant should be a no brainer—right?

I wish.

I was asked to participate by a Facebook friend, Roshni Sharma (coolest name ever), who had just posted her own no make up selfie and tagged me and a bunch of other women in the post inviting us to join her.

The first thing I noticed about her image was the fact that half of her naked face was hidden behind a large, professional looking camera.

“Well,” I thought, “That’s one way to do it.” I wondered what I could find to hide behind.

Then I read her words:

“So I hesitated a lot before doing this ‘no make up selfie’ for breast cancer awareness. To be honest about it, it’s [hard] showing my non-made-up self to people en masse…but I realized that all this breast cancer awareness stuff has a deeper message than just playful and disconnected ‘games’—they bring out discussion (or at least have the capacity to) about being authentic…I’ve always been self conscious about my skin, and it’s hard to disconnect self esteem from physical appearance, especially in todays society. So, another layer of the onion is peeled off, out of my second closet for the day, even though I’m still half hiding behind the camera…”

I could have written that myself.

For all my bold forays into the land of no holds barred, for all the verbal x-rays I’ve pinned up on the light box of my writing, there has been one thing I have fiercely (and inauthentically) protected: the way that I look.

I cull and I glean my public images—and even my private ones, the stuff that goes in photo albums only family will ever see—with meticulous care. If I find an unflattering picture of me has somehow slipped through the filter, I immediately get rid of it before my ugliness has time to burn itself on my retinas and ruin my day.

If I conceal the fact that I have wrinkles, or bags under my eyes, or a weird nose, or a jiggly tummy, or a dimpled butt, maybe I can maintain this false image of myself as (sort of) perfect.

God, it’s exhausting running from reality all the time.

I recently posted an article about LDS women who sought to reclaim their personal power by sitting for nude photos. I praised their bravery and willingness to put their un-edited, un-photoshopped naked bodies out there without apology.

I am not yet as brave as those women—I will need to work hard to gain the level of self confidence and humility that they have—but this is one small step in the right direction.

It’s something I can do.

So here I am, fresh out of bed, scared, smiling and hoping to believe in my own imperfect beauty.

And if I’m being completely honest—which is what this is all about anyway—I didn’t just do it for breast cancer awareness—I did it for me too.

For more no make up selfies, click here.

 

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo: Author’s own

 


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About Erica Leibrandt

Erica Leibrandt is a certified Yoga instructor, Reiki practitioner, vegan cook and mother to six heathens who masquerade as innocent children. She aims to apply the principles of Yoga to real life. Between writing, teaching and studying to earn her master's degree in clinical counseling from Northwestern University, she spends her time being walked by her dogs and trying to dream up an alternative to doing the laundry. If she occasionally finds herself with a fried egg on her plate or dancing until dawn, she asks that you not judge her. Life is short, she knows the chicken that laid the egg and you can never dance too much. You can connect with Erica on FacebookTwitter and Tumblr.

Comments

3 Responses to “My No Make Up Selfie for Breast Cancer Awareness.”

  1. Kel says:

    You look beautiful!!

  2. Todd says:

    You look just as good without makeup as you do with makeup.

  3. Kristen says:

    Not to disregard you, or the attempt woman are trying to make with this “trend”, but, if writers such as yourself took the time to read what actual Cancer survivors/fighters think of this, you would see it lacks impressiveness amongst us. As woman gather their “likes” and approvals of showing off their naked faces and half ducked lips, it appears as a “look at me” show more then some support for those with Cancer. Your article here proves this by concentrating on how hard it was for you to just take a picture of yourself “naked”. No mention of Cancer. Your dellima for going on camera without makeup is no comparison to chemo patients who can’t wear makeup because of the lack of eyelashes, skin sensitivities or hair. Or the emotional heartache at being starred at because we chose to go into town without our boobs on for the day. Going without makeup for a selfie, does nothing in the many eyes of us Breast Cancer fighters. Try taking a picture of your mastectomy scars and see the reactions you’ll get. It isn’t pretty. THAT’S what needs to be changed!

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