Have you ever seen a child in the midst of expressing wonderment?
We can see the magic in their eyes as they connect the dots and they are completely captivated in the moment. It’s beautiful to watch and we can’t help but share their enthusiasm. We find ourselves smiling because it stirs familiar feelings and we know exactly what they are experiencing.
I am that child, full of excitement and awe.
I feel like I’ve captured the most beautiful treasure and all I want to do is explore it and learn as much as I can about it. I’ve found something unique and incredibly valuable. The moment I found it, I was instinctively aware of it’s worth. I keenly realized my new-found sense of responsibility to honor and protect this treasure.
The treasure I speak of, the one that has my heart bursting with happiness is me.
I found myself.
The past few months have been emotionally jeopardizing. I felt like I was trapped on a roller coaster that had no end.
I was continually questioning my worth and my self-loathing was at an all time high. As a result, it caused a lot of tension between my loved ones and I. I didn’t want to take the blame for anything. I placed my focus on false expectations and ideas of how those around me should change.
I was living in my self-created hell and I didn’t know how to escape.
Recently, I felt the change take shape. I started the day off with a workout outdoors. I was jogging down a muddy, wet and slippery hill. With each step I took, my mind said, “Slow down”, it criticized me and warned, “You’re going to fall. Aren’t you scared of hurting yourself?”
For the first time in awhile, my true self—my life force—defended me against my mind; it spoke clearly and calmly. It said, “You can do it. What’s the worst that could happen? If you fall, you can pick yourself back up. You can always pick yourself back up.”
It was the first moment that I realized it was my mind holding me back, lying to me and forcing me to live in that self-created hell.
Rain followed that jog. It rained throughout the day, and poured all night long. It was a metaphorical message to cleanse myself and begin anew. I believe the universe always has something to say; it’s simply waiting for us to truly listen.
This is what I heard:
When we hit a hard time in life and our heart is hurt, we must forgive ourselves for feeling that way. Wallowing in guilt and blame when we’re down will hold us back from moving forward.
Everything is okay.
Let go of fear and judgment.
Fear is the component of all negative emotions. It is what keeps us detained in our own personal hell. Judgment is created in the mind and it is often what causes restriction of personal growth. Let go of what our mind is criticizing and fearful of because most likely it is demonstrating an unrealistic perspective of things.
Live in the moment.
This life is just a story we’re creating. Right now, all we truly have is this moment. When we feel anxious and our focus is scattered, center. Feel the gentle tips of our fingers, or the soft waves of our hair. Take pleasure in the task at hand. Indulge our attention in the moment fully and let the world and worry around us disappear.
Take pause before reacting.
Situations are left powerless when you refuse to submit a negative reaction to them. This isn’t always an easy task, especially when it’s in our nature to react without hesitation. In the moment, step back and observe the situation. Create an opportunity to use your energy wisely, in ways that won’t leave you angry or upset.
Love and respect yourself unconditionally and endlessly.
Love is all we ever need, and the only love we need lives inside of us. It was there all along and it will never leave us nor forsake us.
If we love ourselves, we will respect ourselves and take pride in who we are, always.
I feel like I’ve discovered myself for the first time.
I have been searching outside for so long, when all I’ve ever needed was already there all along. I am so excited to grow and learn all that I have to offer myself. I am so full of life and love. All I want to do is share it unconditionally.
The rain came and it washed away all that was keeping me trapped. The path presented itself to me in it’s own way and in it’s own time.
Always remember: Let go. Live and let live. Love fully, deeply and endlessly.
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Apprentice Editor: Alicia Wozniak/Editor: Catherine Monkman