Cosmopolitan’s Crazy List of How to Win a Man’s Heart.

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holding hands

I recently wrote an article titled: How to make a man fall in love in 6 words.

When scanning internet articles, I came across a list by Cosmo Magazine touting the 18 sure-fire ways for the fairer sex to make a gent tumble over his tasseled loafers (ala Hugh Grant) for us.

Bear with me as some of these seem shake-your-head pathetic on the surface but after I rolled my eyes a few times, I found some meaning under the shallow, Gloria-Steinem-fans-will-revolt words.

The Cosmo Consensus (in the author’s words) for a man to get love clumsy stuttering:

  1. He needs to pull out his sword! (Figuratively.) Men want to protect us. When we show our vulnerability, he gets to be our Marvel comic book good guy in a cape. Thank him for being our hero.
  2. Give him a task without a tsk tsk. They like to fix, build and perform. Appreciation over perfection completes our end of the job.
  3. Ask his opinion. Yeppers, this makes him feel important, valued and respected for his brain not just his brawn.
  4. Soft as silk, or similar facsimile—wear feminine fabrics. (Don’t shoot the messenger! But it’s actually true.) Slinking around in a satin slip may seem all women’s-lib-retarded, but it’s true that it really is feminine,      which feels sweetly sexy for us ladies let’s remember!
  5. Wear his clothes. (I believe this is the 2nd time I rolled my eyes.) He’ll unconsciously view it as though we’re peeing on his leg. (Yes, like a dog. Yes, I wrote that.) But! His oversize hoodie feels cozy bones and smells like him… Mmm.
  6. He needs freedom. Accepting and even embracing who he is allows us to let go and him to have autonomy, something we ought to claim, too.
  7. Get a life! Men do like a bit of a chase, and reality land is both parties need to have their own interests and not totally rely on the other to be there at every minute. No guy really wants a beck and call girl!
  8. Be vulnerable. Sharing our fear of commitment if we’re nervous, too, takes the pressure off him.
  9. Find a new me. As in, keep it interesting. Predictable is comfortable but gets boring. Reinventing ourselves, even in small ways, makes life more exciting for us, too. (New hairdo, new hobby, new style, new whatever—keep it fresh, for us!)
  10. Respect privacy. We all want to be trusted. And if we don’t trust our partner, then either we’d be better off without him or… There’s an old saying, “The one who looks under the bed first, has usually been there.”
  11. He wants to shine. We all do! As much as we appreciate appreciation, so does he. Give generously. It’s free.
  12. Make him happy. Well, I’d say that’s his job, but we can make him laugh. Do that a lot. Laughing feels good and it’s contagious! And that makes us happy.
  13. Be a social butterfly. (Eye roll, frown.) Okay, fine, men are generally better with left brain stuff, and women are generally better with the touchy-feely gift of the gab, so for those who are traditionally gender-roled on this one, help a dude out will ya!
  14. Play mind games! As in the brainy kind: Scrabble, puzzles, chess and the like.
  15. Act like the grand prize. But not a grand ass. Healthy self-esteem and confidence is not the same as cocky, high-maintenance, insecure arrogance. Know. The. Diff.
  16. He likes his comfort zone—with you. Basically, not pressuring him about the relationship allows him to enjoy it instead of trying to figure it out, already. Guys don’t love thinking about relationships, unlike most of us      women. Note. To. Self.
  17. Chef’s in the kitchen. Cooking together can be an intimate, bonding experience, and good way to find out cooperative we are. A way to a man’s heart…
  18. Stock your nest. Having some of his favourite items and brands on hand will make him feel like he fits in at (our) home. Refer back to comfort zone.

Some of these may seem silly and even regressive, but if we allow our liberated selves to be open-minded, and ultimately vulnerable, to new ideas in the name of love it could be worth the risk.

Bonus: eHarmony had its own list of How-Tos. The highlights from the dating site that’s paired off more marriage-bound couples than any other of what a man needs:

He wants to make us happy. He really does want our theme song to be Enrique Iglesias’ “You can be my hero, baby.” (Just don’t play it in the house/car/anywhere.) He wants us to be open to love. He wants us to be vulnerable. He wants us to be respectful and to say Yes! to life. Primarily, it’s how he feels when he’s with us and no list can measure that.

And even if we don’t want/need a man to fall in love with us, we do want to be kind and respectful, and contributing to the joy of anyone feeling good just feels good.

Love is the answer.  🙂

 

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Editor: Travis May

Photo: Wiki Commons

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Anna Jorgensen

Anna Jorgensen Dating, love and relationship coach.

A lumberjack’s daughter, I spent my formative years surrounded by virgin forest and hungry grizzly bears in remote forestry camps. The crews were mostly hard-working, good-hearted scruffy men. There was plenty of naked-lady wallpaper, which explains my naughty sense of humour and understanding of how men think. (Hint: It’s not only about sex.)

In 2010, after several “practice” relationships (and a hella lotta “I need help” self-study), I rewrote my self and my life and now wear the cape as “Wingmam.” Yay! My super power is providing one-on-one coaching and study-at-home-in-pj’s online programs that entertain-ucate singles on how to understand the opposite sex, get unstuck, navigate the modern dating world and fast-forward to the fun bits of their happily ever after. (I don’t ask anyone to use cheesy lines or made-up words like I do.)
Love IS the answer, people! ;)

Find Anna here: link to love and laughs.

Connect with Anna’s real, unfiltered Facebook page here (Love IS the answer!).

Watch Anna’s fun-ucational videos on: WingmamTV.

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anonymous Aug 22, 2015 9:02pm

Due to divorce and death, I am starting my third marriage. I’ve been through the women’s lib, be competitively independent approach and I am finding that being more vulnerable and feminine, letting him be my hero etc is more fun. Maybe it’s the difference in my stage of life at this point. I don’t have as much to prove anymore as I am established as a professional and a person. This article resonated me in the sense that perhaps Cosmopolitan’s List isn’t so crazy after all.

anonymous May 8, 2015 5:21pm

Really?! Out of the entire article, you’re going to nitpick about a single word? (used correctly btw) There was absolutely no malice or disrespect meant especially to those with large sticks up their behinds. Although i can only imagine if the article were about breeding, some would probably have a fit over the use of the word bitch as well.

anonymous Aug 14, 2014 3:01pm

Oh come on. Its only offensive if you choose to take offense. I too have a family member that’s mentally retarded. That’s what the doctor called it 50 years ago. I didn’t find it offensive at all and neither would he. I have major depressive disorder but I don’t get upset anytime someone says they’re depressed. The author of this article said she meant no disrespect and I don’t believe she did. If you look for things to make you angry you will always find it. And who wants to be angry all the time. I liked the article, and her use of that word in its context made me smile because it was meant to be funny, not offensive. Knock the dust off your sense of humor and use it one in a while. You’d be happier.

anonymous Apr 21, 2014 1:11am

Gross! Can't believe you used that word! Disgusting!

anonymous Apr 18, 2014 3:46pm

"Women's-lib-retarded"…. SIGH… R-word is the worst most offensive word. I hope that was a quote from Cosmo, and not your own insertion.

    anonymous Apr 18, 2014 7:47pm

    Hi Michelle, I appreciate your comment! I thought about that when I chose to use that word, but when I doubled checked to see if the meaning I was using it for would be warranted, I decided to keep it, as it was accurate for the content I meant.
    re·tard·ed, adjective
    1. less advanced in mental, physical, or SOCIAL development than is usual for one's age.
    re·tard, verb
    1.
    delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment.
    "his progress was retarded by his limp"
    I'm sure it makes more sense with this explanation and it's intended use.
    I grew up in a household with mentally challenged persons, and as a whole they are far more 'whole' than many non-challenged people I've met. I think the intention behind word usage is most important. Hope this clears it up! No disrespect meant 🙂

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