Lust & Laughter. ~ Debra Faith Warshaw

Via Debra Faith Warshaw
on Apr 3, 2014
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Love and Laughter

I can’t imagine anything more erotic than sharing a moment of pain inducing, breath inhibiting, deep, heartfelt, connected laughter with my lover.

The kind of laughter that makes it impossible to breathe and has me mercifully begging my partner to stop egging it on.

Laughter, whether to that extreme or not, makes for incredible foreplay. Even thinking about it as I type this brings a shimmy to my hips and a warm hum to my innards. Deep, soulful belly laughing connects us in a way that we genuinely feel as being special. It fires up our souls and feels so damn good because it’s real, it’s intimate, it’s authentic and it’s vulnerable.

It’s not everyone that you can share this type of laughter with though, and because we inherently know this, it adds another layer of specialness to the experience.

It’s a very specific type of connection that you just can’t have with everyone. I can count on one hand the number of people currently in my life that I can laugh with in this way. It’s a rare and special gift.

Most of us when dating do tend to place sense of humor pretty high up on our list of things we look for in a partner, but rarely do we think about how our humor will actually mesh. The organic chemistry involved is not unlike physical chemistry; we will have it, or we won’t.

Can it be developed and nurtured together?

Yes, I do believe it can, to a degree, but our funny bones are somewhat hard wired, and for the most part, pretty established by adulthood.

Is our funny bone chemistry as important as the physical one? I believe it is, perhaps even more so. If we feel physically attracted to someone that will probably not have much bearing on our compatibility around humor. But if we share deep, profound laughter together it can certainly serve as a powerful aphrodisiac. It is a love language completely unique to the two people experiencing it and when it clicks it has the potential for soul to soul, heart to heart connection and life long bonding.

In addition, and similarly to conflict resolution, laughter plays a big role in predicting our ability to have a healthy relationship. The quantity and quality of laughter with our lover is critical in determining our ability to get through the tougher stuff, which inevitably comes down the road in any long-term relationship.

Laughter really is the best medicine.

It’s a cliché with loads of scientifically proven merit behind it. It’s one of the most powerful tools we have for our health and well being. In 1979 Norman Cousins released his famous best seller “Anatomy of an Illness” which credited laughter as being one of the main reasons he was able to tap into the body/mind connection and cure himself of a life threatening illness.

Laughter makes us feel happy.

It reduces our levels of stress hormones like cortisol and increases our levels of pleasure hormones like endorphins. Laughter opens up new neuro-pathways, which enable us to feel more pleasure. Orgasms,  come more easily.

I haven’t had many moments like this with lovers in my past. I’ve been with “pranksters,” “the witty, one liner guy,” “the teaser,” “the joker,” “the clown,” “the cackler,” “the chuckler” and “the howler,” but it’s been a long time since I’ve had the “stop it, I can’t breathe anymore guy” in my life. I have a few friends and family members that I get to occasionally experience this with, and that’s how I know I’m “one of those.” One of those that can, because being able to laugh like that is not something everyone does. There are those who can and do, and those who don’t or won’t.

Laughter like that requires feeling a certain amount of freedom within. It requires a willingness to lose control and takes a certain amount of trust and ability to let down our guard. It’s not everyone’s barrel of monkeys.

But regardless of how deep the level of laughter goes between us; it is an undeniable vehicle for love, healing and connection.

Let’s face it; stimulating the limbic system through laughter is much more powerful and long lasting than stimulating it through the genitals alone.

And besides, an orgasm that’s achieved via the path of laughter is truly the ultimate punch line.

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Apprentice Editor: Sarvasmarana Ma Nithya / Editor: Cat Beekmans

Photo: Flickr

 


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About Debra Faith Warshaw

Debra Faith Warshaw is a shaken not stirred blend of warmth, sass, humor and heart, able to turn all of that on in the flash of a smile. This works well for her passionate calling as a certified "Strategic Intervention" life coach and personal growth-inspired writer.

Debra is a different kind of life/love/relationship coach. Her private sessions focus on bringing light to her clients' unique challenges that keep them stuck in all areas of life. Debra works to clear any self worth roadblocks that are usually the main culprits keeping us from living at our full potential.

Debra is passionately promoting the “Self Love Is Free” project; a movement that aims to bring awareness and inspire others towards living their most authentic lives through self love and acceptance.

Join the movement on selfloveisfree.com, FB, Twitter or Instagram.

Comments

24 Responses to “Lust & Laughter. ~ Debra Faith Warshaw”

  1. Roman says:

    I totally agree. That kind of laughter suggests a bond, a camaraderie, that can only deepen physical intimacy. It can be stimulating between new partners but is even more powerful in lovers that have been together for a long time. They "get" each other…

  2. lance says:

    you make me feel like dancin' 🙂 ty deb

  3. Georgiegal says:

    This is a great article. You are so right. I once dated someone who laughed at things that I thought were not even remotely funny and sometimes he laughed at things I thought were mean.. that relationship is loooooong gone.

  4. Shirley says:

    This article was such a great remainder that we need to stop at times from our crazy busy lives and remember to enjoy the company of our loved ones. We need to laugh away to help bring those special moments that we share.

  5. Jen Byrd says:

    My husband and I recently made three consecutive all day excursions to our county's Departments of Human Services in search of emergency financial resources. In the middle of a four hour wait at one office, my love made me laugh uncontrollably and I could not stop except to catch my breath and wipe away tears of joy. After several minutes I composed myself enough to be able to retreat to the ladies room and pull myself together. It was the most awesome I have felt in quite some time. I especially liked the way it was received by the crowd of people that we shared the day with. We broke up an otherwise mundane and sad environment and added light and love.

  6. Shifra says:

    29 years ago I went on my first date with my husband. I never in my life laughed more than I did that night. I am happy to say that after 29 years one of our most special bonds is that we can still laugh with each other and to each other. It is a wonderful bond that we share and has gotten us through some of the tough times we have experienced in our lives as a married couple. Thanks for a great article Debra!

  7. Debra Faith says:

    Exactly Roman, it is so bonding. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. <3

  8. Debra Faith says:

    We often do underestimate the importance of it as something to consider when first dating and getting to know someone. There is so much power in the connection here. Thanks for leaving your thoughts Georgiegal! <3

  9. Dina says:

    I always smile when I think of a time that I had a really good laugh with my husband.

    It helps connect us and keeps our relationship strong.

    Thanks for sharing these inspiring words of wisdom.

  10. ken says:

    A perspective we can smile about:)

  11. Evan Gould says:

    I really enjoyed reading this Debra…and I agree whole-heartedly. I love how you have expressed how powerful laughter is, and how it can 'work' in, and bekey in the ignition of our romantic relationships. You've reminded (and you know that I have been single for 'a while' lol of how much I crave a healthy shot of this particularly "powerful aphrodisiac" ! Another great article Debra, thanks for all you do. Keep up the inspired and insightful writing. I'll be looking forward to more great reads, for sure! Peace and love…and laughter! ~ evan <3

  12. Debra Faith says:

    Yes Shirley, i so agree, and we all need reminders from time to time don't we. <3

  13. Debra Faith says:

    I'm glad you enjoyed my words Dina. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. <3

  14. Debra Faith says:

    Wow, thank you Evan for those thoughtful and encouraging words. It means so much to me that my article touched you. I will surely do my best to keep the Love flowing on the pages as well as all around me. What other choice is there anyway? 🙂 Thanks for taking the trouble to leave a comment. <3

  15. Barbara says:

    I never saw it as foreplay….but what a playful way to look at it. Opening up, enjoying, letting lose….and having a fun time. What a togetherness and oneness. Love this article. Thank you.

  16. Debra Faith says:

    Thank you Barbara. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thx for leaving your thoughts. <3

  17. Debra Faith says:

    Wow, that is awesome Shifra! Thanks for giving hard core PROOF to my words. Laughter is so powerful and thank you for sharing your story. <3

  18. Debra Faith says:

    Great story Jen! I was right there laughing with you 🙂
    Thanks so much for sharing it. <3

  19. Elizabeth Reagh says:

    This article said so well what is so true. There is nothing more gratifying than the kind of laughing that makes tears roll down your face and your stomach hurt. And when you find that with a lover? The ultimate feeling of intimacy. Thanks for expressing this so beautifully!

  20. Debra Faith says:

    You're so welcome Elizabeth. I'm glad you have experienced this. <3

  21. Cliff says:

    Great article Debra! When two people who love each other share that kind of deep emotional laughter with each other, I believe they are saying from the heart … I AM TOTALLY ALL INTO YOU! Uninhibited, and Trustingly Wide Open! Laughter does the Heart GOOD like a Medicine!
    Thank You for Sharing 🙂

  22. Kate Easton says:

    Very refreshing to see a new spin on what to look for in a partner. I'm starting to consider looking around for that someone special and I can already see how useful your advise will be. Thanks

  23. Debra Faith says:

    I couldn't agree more Cliff. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. <3

  24. Debra Faith says:

    So glad to hear that Kate! Thank you! <3

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