3.2
April 9, 2014

My Virtual Lover: Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows. ~ Edith Lazenby {Video}

breathe and love

Lately my attention has been flowing into what I want more than anything: a meaningful relationship.

A lot can happen when need and desire meet. And though I won’t go into detail here, my love pocket was picked. At some point, I will tell the whole tale with all of the embarrassing details but I fell in love with someone I never met.

And this person was not real as you might think of a real person. He was my virtual lover. He got what he wanted and disappeared. On April Fool’s day, I woke up to find I had been played.

The shame was tough but as Brene Brown points out, if we keep shame to ourselves, it grows. I know I am not a bad person. I am a giving, trusting and caring person.

The man I met online was beyond amazing. He was everything I ever wanted and dreamed a man could be.

So to all you women and men out there meeting folk in the virtual world: beware.

The little bit of money I lost was not the worst, really. And I have too much respect to let that get squandered on a con man.

What I learned is where my attention goes, my energy flows.

I learned I am desperate to be accepted and cherished. I learned I am eager for attention and passion. I learned I want to feel cared for and taken care of though I know I can take care of myself.

And now I am out meeting real people with real bodies having real conversations. I took up pool. I still do the online thing in hopes of meeting someone with whom to share my life.

As much as I love my virtual world, I am tired of my all my conversations happening through a screen.

I am too old to be this naïve, but so it is.

I live. I love. I learn. I move on.

 

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Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photos: elephant archives

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Erika Apr 9, 2014 1:43pm

I had an identical experience. Didn’t lose any money, just a lot of time and heartache. I was sure I had met my soul mate. And then he disappeared into cyberspace. He called me on three occasions. Michael McAllister, you played me like a piano, jazzman.

Lizzie Kramer Apr 9, 2014 12:56am

<3 this rocks, Edie! Love the truth behind the idea and your honesty.

Carolyn Riker Apr 8, 2014 10:59pm

You are amazing. Great article.

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Edie Lazenby

Edith Lazenby’s first love is poetry. Her second is yoga. Life unrolls in ways she could have never have imagined. She loves to love and live life daringly. Leap and the net will appear is how the saying goes but they don’t tell you what to do after it disappears.

Edith lives in Baltimore with her cat, Cucumber. She works all the time, it seems, these days. Life is good. Blessings are many.