4.3
April 29, 2014

Ramblings of A Tired Heart.

Sad girl

There are days when I greet the day with my feet hitting the floor and my face to the sun.

And then there are days when my heart is just begging to slip back under the covers and retreat into the silent stillness of a morning that has the shades pulled down and the light turned off. It’s those days when I speak to my tired heart and tell her she has to rise to the challenge and find energy somewhere inside.

There are nights when I fall into blissful dream-filled slumber, that spin tales of yellow ducks and laughing children. Shapes transform into familiar people and voices echo from far away telling secrets that dwindle into nothing but mere symbols by morning.

And then there are nights when the darkness creeps up and pushes away the light leaving only thoughts of worry and fear. It’s nights like those that leave me waking the next morning with a racing heart, a pounding head and a thick tongue. And then again my heart is tired.

This tired heart aches for a small break in the hurry-upness, and perhaps a quiet night with a book. It aches for a morning that has coffee and toast and a pink-orange sun that maybe rises in the West and sets in the East or something out of the ordinary like that.

This tired heart yearns for all the dishes to be washed and put back in their places with the cups turned right side up or wrong side down—whichever, as long as they are done.

This weary heart wishes for children to not squabble or her dog to not run into the neighbor’s yard and eat up all of the food left out for the cat. It craves a garden that has already been dug and primed, with seeds already bought and weeds already pulled. A climbing vine with flowers would be lovely, that reach in places around the fence or possibly moonflowers that open at night.

This quiet heart pines for an easy dinner one night that satisfies each one at the table and doesn’t burn or take so long to prepare.  And then we can sit back and talk about things that happened that day and how the teachers give too much homework and wonder when the pool will open this summer.

This tired heart wishes and hopes, dreams and desires for so many things. But then I am reminded that sometimes it is the things that make the heart tired that also make it happy, even when the dishes aren’t put back or the cups aren’t placed right side down. Even when the sun rises in the East, like every other ordinary day and my alarm clock rings at 5:45 am. Even when the dog runs away and eats up the neighbor’s food for the cat.

So maybe, I will find a tiny pause to read a book and drink coffee and eat toast and give my tired heart a break.

Just for today.

And tomorrow I will greet the day with my feet hitting the floor and my face to the sun.

Maybe.

 

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo Credit: Flickr/Trang Angels

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christiana Jun 17, 2014 9:35am

my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him….. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr Ohehen spell caster, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email:([email protected]}

Jamie Khoo May 2, 2014 9:40am

Dana, this is just beautiful and all of us know this all too well. Know that in your 'tiredness', this piece has risen and brings strength to so many of us out here. So even your tiredness is magical. I hope your heart knows that <3 Wishing you so much strength and boundless energy and infinite mornings where you wake with your face to the sun.

Apr 30, 2014 11:50am

Some days my tired heart feels the same. Thank you for this! xo

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Dana Gornall

Dana Gornall is a mom of three crazy kids and a dog. She works as a licensed massage therapist in Amherst, Ohio and is a certified sign language interpreter. She is always looking forward to even more personal growth. While not interpreting, doing massage, or being with her family she loves going to yoga. You can connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.