April 26, 2014

Relationship Is Home.

There are moments in life that feel impossible, moments where the vision of what could be is not enough to alleviate the pain of what is.

In places like Boulder, Colorado, Asheville, North Carolina, or Santa Cruz, California people talk of these moments in astrological terms.

“It is because of the eclipse that I feel like shit.” “It is because of the placement of the planets that I am having a difficult time manifesting my desires.” Granted, planets and moons have some sway but the real gravity in our lives can be found in the strength of relationships.

Friendships, lovers, parents, mentors, teachers, students and even passing acquaintances influence who we are and who we are becoming. Family is the original caregiving network. It is a place where values are instilled, morals are imbedded and love is shared.

Of course, not all family structures are equal and romantic relationships are the playground where family patterns get repeated.

Romantic relationship is second to family in its impact on the directionality in one’s life. Moreover, romantic relationship is the egg to the chicken in that without it families would not form. And family is what you are born into while romantic relationship is something you choose. Some would argue that fate imposes both. Either way you slice it they are both influential and form the fabric of life.

Further, after childhood years are traversed, adulthood is the labyrinth we all must walk through and it is not an easy journey. It is not easy because childhood is about learning the rules and adulthood is learning which rules you are willing to break.

It is about becoming your own person.

Becoming your own person is both an exercise in awareness, willingness to participate, and make some new rules.

Simply, we learn who we are through relationships.

I was answering questions during my intake for acupuncture and one of the questions asked was, “What is home to you?” I started to describe a simple home filled with plants, a loving husband, and simple decor. Then I paused and my heart answered the question in a succinct and sentimental manner, “Relationship is my home.”

I imagine this to be true for every sentient being. Home is where the heart is.

It has also been said that wild hearts can’t be broken. It is poor misinterpretation to believe that wildness staves off defeat, disappointment, or delusion. All hearts can be broken.

But, wild hearts are wild because they cannot be domesticated by the will of another, the force of planets, or the influence of family tradition. Wild hearts seek out and find their truth north.

Finding the second star on the right that leads straight onto morning takes perseverance and endurance.

A foolish farmer plants seeds and expects them to sprout the next day. The paradox of inspiration is that it can be felt instantly and take years to make manifest. Inspiration is the seed. Commitment is the soil.

The longing of the soul informs the timing of planting seeds. Every person has a dream that is unique to them. When I rise in the morning I never think about slipping on a suit and going to the New York stock exchange, plumbing clogged pipes, or building a home. I think about writing articles, healing broken-hearts, dancing, hiking, and doing things that nurture my soul’s longings.

I have come to discover that the visions we hold for our life could not come into our consciousness unless those visions are actually possible to realize. This is what is meant by “God does not give you more than you can handle.” You will not be inspired beyond your capacity to realize that inspiration. Think about the ingenuity of man. Think about Felix who skydived from space. Think about acrobats. Think about the Wolf of Wall Street.

All reality begins as a flicker of a notion. These notions are then realized through movements, through reciprocal relationships and are refined through rejection.

And life is not a sprint; it is a marathon.

The comforts of home support a wild heart. Initial inspiration plus devotion results in the realization of desire. That which feels impossible now is but a moment drawing you back to the drawing board. Home can exist inside the arms of the one you love or it can be found inside the seeking of truth.

Home is a road paved with yellow bricks that leads to a wizard with a single power—to convey the lesson that power lies within.

Home is courage, brains, and heart accompanying you on your life journey in the form of friends.

Home is the relationship you form with your existence.

It is what it is. Be what you will be.

As for me, I’m going home.


Author’s note: I dedicate this article to the love of my life. If I know what love is it is because of you and because of love I know who I am.

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