May 28, 2014

What Happened When I Didn’t Complain for 32 days.



Mindful Speech & Elocution in Buddhist tradition.

I love challenges.

I love the idea of having a sort of competition with yourself to see where you can push yourself, and also when you need to back off and give yourself a break.

So I decided to do a contest with myself where I committed to not bitching for 32 days and here is what I learned.

I complain a lot.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but I am ashamed to admit that the very first day I started I caught myself complaining (mentally mostly) at least ten times before breakfast. So I made the trick in the first few days to catch myself when I was complaining.

To a large extent, I found that it’s important to look within yourself and acknowledge what you’re complaining about and have the discernment to realize when you are being petty and when there is something underlying your complaints.

If you can change the circumstances, great—if you can’t, let it go and carry on with your day with cheerfulness.

I started noticing the beauty around me more and more.

After practicing catching yourself complaining daily and work to letting go, you begin to see that there is actually beauty in so many things that we often complain about. The taste of tea, the feeling of walking around without any shoes on.

I learned more about what dulls my spirit and what brightens it.

I saw that the more I noticed my complaints, the more I was able to see how unnecessary they were. As far as time-wasting goes, I think that complaining is the biggest of them all. Let go of the complaints and love comes rushing in.

Love, compassion, understanding flows through you as if to say “why didn’t you do this sooner, this is a way better feeling.”

It brought my awareness to my fears.

I could see the fears of being negative, of failure, of boredom bubbling up through my complaints. The fear of being a failure, fear of financial loss, and fear of being like the person you are complaining about.

I noticed that my complaints often ending up being directed to the actions of other people, some affected me, some didn’t. And more often than not, complaints involve nasty, uncaring words directed to that person. I realized that the uncaring, nasty person I was when I complained is not the authentic version of me: I endeavor to be a kind person, through my actions and my words. 

Not bitching has helped me become aware of when I’m not following my own code of ethics to be a conscious being. Conscious of what I do and say to the humans, animals and environment of this world.

I encourage everyone to do their own version of a #nobitchingcontest if you’re not afraid to stalk your fears, to look inside and find out what brightens your spirit and what dulls it.



The Complaints Stop Here. {Adult Language}


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sophie Sep 28, 2015 8:04am

Great article.. fits my awareness theme these days..
What did you do, when you encountered complaints inside and outside ? just.. stop? and how about when other people close to you complains?
mucho love

Michael Feb 26, 2015 7:56am

Next project is the use of the word "hate". I'm here to tell you if you use the word less you will find out a lot of great things from it . I challenged my kids to try it for one month and they were much happier after they realized how much it took from them.

Amy Jun 3, 2014 12:54am

WOW, my roommate is always telling me that I complain A LOT. Who knew i wasn't the only one! On one hand it's nice to know I have company, on the other there is lot of people complaining. I will consciously give this a try. One fucking day at a time!

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Susan McFadzean

Susan McFadzean is a Yoga Teacher and student of life. She is currently living in South Korea, drawing inspiration from her travels and learning as much as she can about life, Yoga, inspiration-creating events which she just wants to share with the world around her. Her main goal is to offer different perspectives to the world and hopes that through her writing will bring about even a small shift in the overall consciousness of human beings, and looks to inspire through bringing beauty and positivity to the world. To follow her #nobitchingcontest, and other challenges, visit her website, or follow her on twitter @LittleYogiSu.