Why I Give a Damn About #yesallwomen. {Adult Content}

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because society. best.

“The women’s movement has really just begun. In this wave, I would say—you know—from what we can see from history, movements do seem to have to last about a century before they really fully absorb by a culture, or many cultures, and we are maybe 40 years into this one, so I think for all the great social justice movements, which are all connected, of course anyway. We probably have quite a ways to go, and we might need other waves in the future, before finally people are regarded as unique individuals, rather than groups.”

~ Gloria Steinem


What is #YesAllWomen?

An outcry from the women of our world.

An outcry of repressed, unheard and denied voices speaking up about assault, rape, nonconsensual sex, harassment, sexual objectification, inequality, sexism and misogyny.

A much needed women’s movement on our planet.

“Me toos” have taken over, as the cry of anger gets stronger and louder. I can feel it vibrating from my screen, and pulsing in my veins as I scroll through the words of thousands of women and men adding their voices to the fight.

Women all over the world are empowering one another to stand in the light and take a stand after Elliot Rodger’s “War on Women” that killed six people and wounded 13 on May 23, 2014.

Elliot Rodger, a 22-year-old man living in Isla Vista, California resented the women who turned him down in the past, “starved him of sex” and “kept him a virgin,” and the “men who they chose to sleep with instead of him.”

He spoke freely of his hatred for women between his disturbing 22 YouTube videos and 141 page misogynistic manifesto. He uploaded a video onto YouTube the night before his attack titled, “Elliot Rodger’s Retribution,” where he spoke of attacking the very girls who represented everything he hated in the female gender—the hottest sorority of UCSB.

He believed that, “Women should not have the right to choose who to mate with. That choice should be made for them by civilized men of intelligence.”

He also proposed concentration camps for women, with only a select few allowed to survive for reproduction.

On the night of May 23, after emailing his 107,000 word manifesto, “My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Rodger,” and killing three men in his apartment, Rodger drove to the Alpha Phi Sorority house and opened fire on women and men.

On May 24, the Twitter hashtag #YesAllWomen was created as an outlet for women to share their experiences surrounding sexism and misogyny. The hashtag spread like wildfire through the social media world, reaching 1.5 million tweets and 1.2 billion impressions, and peaking at 61,500 tweets per hour on May 25.

In my first five minutes of research online I came across a tweet that read:


Jenna Glatzer (@GhostwriterJG) May 31, 2014:

#yesallwomen because a man on the train stood behind me and began pressing himself into me and everyone pretended not to see.


I clicked “expand” on the post and read comments from several men. As I read, a slow, hoarse, momma-grizz growl escaped my lips for the women of this earth.

Mick hucknell ‏(@MHucknell) May 31:

@GhostwriterJG You are aware that trains have seats so these things can’t happen right?


Andy ‏@AndyMiIIigan May 31:

@GhostwriterJG Hahahahahaha.


Matthew Adams ‏@BeefcakeAvatar May 31:

@GhostwriterJG It wasn’t my fault, it was a bumpy ride.


Fatoush Hakbarah ‏@hakbarah May 31:

@GhostwriterJG u look like a man


Señor Suerte ‏@NotTheBot Jun 1:

@GhostwriterJG I would have watched the whole thing and probably touched myself later.


I am a woman.

I don’t identify as being a feminist.

I do identify as being an activist, and an advocate for human rights.

I have walked down a public street in broad day light with a friend of mine in a dress and had a man grab her crotch.

I have crowd surfed and had men touch my breasts and legs.

I do get my keys out of my purse and ready when I must walk to my car in the dark. I walk quickly, and I look behind me.

I once had a male friend, who I trusted, grab my boob and laugh when I angrily reacted in a public place, and none of the men surrounding spoke up for me.

I have had men in Indonesia surround me, leering, photographing and video taping me, despite my verbal objections and physical attempts to lose them on a ferry. I have had those very same men physically grab me and try and put me in a “taxi” that was a van.

I wear long pants and sleeves while leaving an airport so as to not call attention to myself, my body and the fact that I travel alone as a woman.

I have gone through phases of my life where my closet is full of men’s clothing and I have denied my divine femininity, because I wished to dodge unwanted sexual objectification of my body.

I once had a man follow me walking on a beach in Greece, jacking off in broad daylight as he watched me. When I went looking for support, I was met by three groups of people—male and female—who after hearing me explain furiously, my cheeks wet from tears, shrugged, laughed and told me, “so?”

I get more male attention for my legs than I do for my brilliant brain and red, beating heart.

I’ve had a general manager of a Joey Tomatoes in Sherwood Park tell me I needed to put some energy into my “work ethic and performance.” When I asked him how I could improve, he replied that I “needed to start wearing high heels, straightening my hair and wearing make up to work.”

I know a woman who has been forced against her will, abusively, to have non-consensual sex and told me from behind a bruised face the next day that “she asked for it.”

I was given bear mace as a gift when traveling to Thailand for the first time.

Many members of the opposite sex, including employers, have told me that my “sensitivity” is a problem. When men call other men “girls,” it is a synonym for being weak. I see my sensitivity and open heartedness as my greatest strength, and others inability to live from this place or respect it their biggest weakness.

All the women in my class were uncomfortable with the teacher of my junior high, known as “Mr. Touching,” who requested that no women wear jackets in his class, as a class rule and policy.

I took my first stand against sexism when I refused his “no jacket policy” and wound up in detention.

I want to pick up  hitchhikers every time I see a thumb on the side of the highway, but if it is a man—I don’t stop.

“I need feminism because my vagina shouldn’t give me special treatment or shitty treatment, it should only give me ORGASMS.” ~ Shannon Roberts.


From women on #yesallwomen:

Mayhem (@DavySunshine) May 27,2014:

Because what men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk #YesAllWomen


Sophia Bush (@SophiaBush) May 25, 2014:

#yesallwomen because “I have a boyfriend” is more likely to get a guy to back off than “no”, because they respect other men more than women


Deb Whitman (@DebAARP) May 29, 2014:

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it…without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Maya Angelou #yesallwomen


 Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:

“The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen


Lili Stenn (@lphaedraa) June 5, 2014:

#YesAllWomen because when we put up posters in school to raise awareness about rape culture, they got taken down by the administration.


 Janne Robinson (@EudaimoniaJanne) June 10, 2014:

“We don’t want a pretty girl. We want a writer. Go home. ” @GloriaSteinem #yesallwomen


From men on #yesallwoman: 

Chris Speed (@TheDeadlyAngel) June 1st, 2014:

#YesAllWomen Rape should be legalized so when the rape happens it won’t be seen as a bad thing, it will save so many lives.


Chris Speed (@TheDeadlyAngel) June 1st, 2014:

#yesallwomen if you wear a short dress then you deserve to get raped, just my opinion


SLUT WHISPERER (@KirillWasHere) June 3, 2014:

#yesallwomen play hard to get and then cry sexual harassment when we play along


Josh Groban (@Joshgroban) June 3, 2014:

Because we all know someone who has been made to feel like it wasn’t assault when it was #yesallwomen


Danforth France (@danforthfrance) June 3, 2014:

Post a #yesallwomen post about my mom, get @-reply “jokes” from dudes. You’re making the ladies’ point, you dickbaskets.


Albert W Dubreuil (@awdubreuil) May 24, 2014:

Started reading the #yesallwomen tweets b/c I’ve got a daugter[sic], but now I see I should be reading them b/c I’ve got two sons.


rape. img


Activism is my way of holding the world accountable for its wrong and hate. As an activist I hear the millions of voices who have spoken out through #yesallwomen and feel a burning fire inside my bones.

Do I think there is value in #yesallwomen? Yes.

Is it all feminist “male shaming?” No.

“The first resistance to social change is to say it’s not necessary.” ~ Gloria Steinem

This week SC Johnson Companies billionaire heir, Samuel Curtis Johnson III, confessed to repeatedly sexually assaulting his teenage stepdaughter and has received a prison sentence of a measly four months and a whooping fine of $6,000, because the judge ruled that he is a “productive” member of society.

Does Elliot Rodger ring any déjà vu bells, maybe the Montreal Massacre? Where in 1989, 25-year-old Marc Lépine separated men and women in a classroom of École Polytechnique and opened fire, shooting all nine women and killing six. He then proceeded to walk the halls targeting women in what he claimed to be a “fight against feminism.”

The attitude of the police in many countries often discourages victims from reporting rape: one study in Turkey found that 33 percent of police officers agreed with the assertion that “some women deserve rape” and 66 percent agreed that “the physical appearance and behaviors of women tempt men to rape.”

74 percent of women in Mali said that a husband is justified in beating his wife if she refuses to have sex with him.

Did you read in the newspaper article about the two girls who were raped, killed and hung from a tree in India last month?

Every 22 minutes in India a woman is raped. 98 percent of the rapes are committed by men. Many happen when young women and children go to the fields behind their house to pee, as there are no toilets in their homes.

“By the time the average woman reaches 60 years old she will have made $450,000 less than a man in the same exact position.” ~ Laci Green

At the end of the day, our world may have progressed, but by no means is the women’s fight for equality and basic human rights over.

I want women to have worth.

I want to exist in a world full of empowered human beings—that includes both genders. I want to exist in a world where when women speak up about rape and assault, men don’t reply defensively with, “Not all men are.”

For we know that you are not all rapists, that all of you do not grab crotches in broad daylight, make sexist jokes and pop rufies in girls’ drinks. I know that when the majority of you hear the word “No,” you understand what it means, and back off.

I also am by no means saying women are the only victims of rape and sexual assault. Many women are predators and attackers in our world, and many men fall victim to rape by the hand of other men as well.

A 1997 report by the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics showed that 99 percent of rapists are male. However, when prison rapes are included in the statistics it has been reported that, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, “more men are raped in the U.S. than women… In 2008, it was estimated 216,000 inmates were sexually assaulted while serving time…compared to 90,479 rape cases outside of prison.”

So, this next part is important.

Although most women stubbornly want to claim independence and solve sexism, and misogyny on their own—it is not just women who hold the keys to a solution.

In order to create a space for women to exist safely, and equally—we will need men.

Saying that we “need men” in this fight does not take away my power as a female for I know that the only way to instigate a change is for us collectively to work together, that means both genders. We need to humanize our roles, throw away stereotypes, stop painting our babies cribs blue and pink.

So men, instead of wasting energy asking, “What about all the good I do?” and personalizing feminism as an attack against all men, acknowledge that in order to radically shift our world, we need you to stand with us.

We need men to stand right beside us in this world, we all need to ride on the equality bus together.

Stand up. And for those of you already standing—I see you. Thank you.

We need you. We need you to call the other men out when we can’t see you—at “guys night” where testosterone is running wild.

We need you to hold each other accountable for degrading behavior. We need allies who not only stand with us when we can see them, but more importantly in the moments we cannot.

We need allies who will help build a world where women don’t need to be afraid of abuse and rape.

We need men like singer Aaron Lewis, who stopped singing halfway through a song at Rockfest when he saw a group of men groping a 15-year-old-girl who was crowd surfing.

And women—we need to let them help us.

At a topless protest march that took place in Vancouver in August, 2013, where women “bore their breasts in the name of gender equality” to support Gwen Jacob (who was arrested and charged for “indecency” for walking topless under the Canadian Criminal Code in 1991), men were requested not to march topless. A close friend of mine told me over dinner that he wanted to go march to support the cause, but was faced with resistance from women to do so.

“The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving.” ~ Gloria Steinem

And to those of you refusing to move with us, before you shrug off #yesallwomen as a bunch of hairy armpit man eating dykes and over reacting feminists, I’d like to ask you if you have a daughter. Or if you plan on having a child someday? Is there a chance she will be born a female?

One in four females is sexually assaulted in North America.

One in four.

Give a damn for her.

If you have a son, remind him constantly of how important the divine feminine is in our lives. Whisper to him each night to walk with tenderness, sweetness and ferocious might for the ones who exist beside him, regardless of gender. Implement strongly the worth, value and importance of females into his belief systems.

“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons…but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” ~ Gloria Steinem

And women of the world, I ask one more thing of you: speak. Speak as if your lungs require you to do so, each moment of your life. That is a vital first step in a solution. If you are sexually abused, assaulted, date raped, a victim in non consensual sex or rape—speak. Ninety-four percent of sexual assault in Canada is not reported. If you don’t report it, there will be another woman down the line in your shoes. It is our accountability to look out for each other—however uncomfortable, confrontational and challenging the process may be.

It starts now. It starts with you.

It starts with being accountable for one another—hearing these voices and cries drowning social media and reacting with compassion.

To any women who added their voices to the #yesallwomen movement—I give a damn about you. Thank you.

I will continue to use my literary teeth to tear more space in this world for you to speak freely and openly about your experiences. I am listening, and I want to hear more.

Your voices pave the way to a world I want to live in, a world I want my children to live in.



sensitivty, yes all women. 1

here's to the day. #yesallwomen 1

no is a sentence.

sexual object.

you don't own me. #yesallwomen 1

yes all women. 1


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Editor: Emily Bartran

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anonymous Oct 3, 2015 5:20pm

If You Are give a damn about yes all women adult content you are the best

anonymous Jul 22, 2015 7:20am

Listen, I’m all for wearing what you want and being true to yourself. But honestly. We live in a world where sex is used to convince us that things are good. That perfume is good. That watch is good. That burger you want is super good. This happens because we use the female (preferred form) as a way to sell.

So.. we have both men and woman sexually stimulated at all aspects of the day. Internet browser advertisements.. billboards, radio, television. Etc…

So. Blaming men is not the solution .. we are merely assaulting the symptoms and ignoring the problem.

We are the problem. Each of us accepts this sexual stimulation day in and day out.

You can blame men, you can blame woman, but in the end, Society has to realize the exact cause.

The Islamic tradition protects its woman from such sexual exploitation. We as western Christians, we accept it with open arms.

Every girl wants to show off her breasts. That’s why we wear sexy cloths. To feel good.

Why do we feel this way? Because that’s what we learn as we are young and exposed to all this sexual stimuli.

So stop complaining about men.. and start taking a stand.

No more bikini models.

No more sexy watch ads.

No more miss universe competitions.

All these sexual stimuli are exasserbating an already present sexual need within the human brain.

Honestly. I’ve had my crotch grabbed numerous times by a woman. But who do I complain to? Hrmm. Who stands up for a man when he is abused by his wife.. then hits her back.. and is called an abuser. Woman have more power then they admit..or want to admit.

Scoff all you want but check the studies. If we except money to look sexy for whatever reason.. promo model at car show. Girl at restaurant. Actor on movie.. Then we are to blame for encouraging a sex culture.

Not one gender. But all of us.

Get over yourselves and identify the true problem.

Thank you and have a great life.


anonymous Mar 13, 2015 4:10pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU JANNE!

anonymous Jan 2, 2015 10:40am

awesome articles and very true talk

anonymous Dec 5, 2014 2:18pm

Modern feminism seems to delight in making all women victims.

anonymous Aug 9, 2014 9:38am

I am a man. A lot of us don’t respect women! 99.9% of men look to a woman’s body, before their mind. I wish this wasn’t the truth. Most men will take a shot at rubbing up against a beautiful woman, for self gratification! I have a beautiful friend and we will never be intimate, but I don”t know what I would do without her! I love women, but that doesn’t mean I need to treat all the others like shit!

anonymous Jul 10, 2014 4:54pm

This article is elegantly written and speaks a truth to the heart of the matter that many cannot express. Block out all the haters. This is bigger than them and their misconceptions. Thank you do much for this.

anonymous Jul 10, 2014 3:11pm

"Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:

“The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen"

I'm sorry, but since when do fetuses have more rights than women? Fetuses have close to no rights because of Roe v. Wade.

anonymous Jun 29, 2014 6:29am

I'm a guy, of a certain age, been around, met a lot of people.
I didn't like this article, but it took me a long time to crystallize why.
I KNOW, I understand, that some guys are beasts, especially in Internet anonymous forums.
Having said that, I've NEVER met a guy who would say that "rape is deserved". And I've never
known a woman who had been raped.

So we can either be righteous and judgemental "Oh, those guys are so messed up"
(and of course "we" are not) – or we can be compassionate – "Those guys must have a lot of fear inside."
And of course true compassion says "We are all in this together – there is not a separate you and me on some level"

I studied Aikido for years, and one of the fundamental principles is no fear, no preparation, no plan.
Sometimes your fear of something will bring that event into your life. It's the hardest thing to give
up your plans, your analysis, your subject object views.

The problem is not "them" – the problem is "us"

Back in college, there was a large skinny-dipping area close. That was really the only place
I've ever been where body evaluation and lust fell away. We're all the same, just human
body parts.

anonymous Jun 27, 2014 1:52pm

Misandry is the hatred of males as a sex, as opposed to misogyny, the hatred of women; or misanthropy, hatred of the human species.

Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Just so everyone is clear on what they are preaching.

I for one would rather define this article as being humanistic.

Humanist beliefs stress the potential value and goodness of human beings, emphasize common human needs, and seek solely rational ways of solving human problems.

And by defensively arguing woman are to blame for rape not men you’re being counterproductive. This is the reason woman don’t completely have equal right. I mean if you were male and your male boss started hitting on you in the work place would you not feel weak and disgusted? You would want to just scream get off me, but then guess what you might lose your job. Think about things from woman’s shoes.

Also this article is just one woman expressing her views and opinions on the matter of helping to prevent rape. If her opinions differ from yours well good. That is what makes us all human being. We all have the capability of making our own opinions on the matter. Don’t take her opinion personally or defensively because we are all entitled to think freely. All of our thoughts and feeling matter and that is what helps an issue to get solved. The different outlooks and ideas about one problem.

anonymous Jun 26, 2014 2:47pm

"My body was created to birth you" is one of the most offensive things I have ever seen. My body is NOT created for birth. That is just one thing that it is capable of. It is a capability that I have chosen not to use–ever. My body is created to house a soul. It belongs to me. Its purpose is NOT to give life to someone else.

anonymous Jun 25, 2014 12:49pm

Great Article! This is all about respect for another person which is normally taught as young kids and adults. The role models need to be the males that the kids are learning from. It has nothing to do with what a person wears, but the thoughts that enter a mans mind when looking at a woman. Sure a mans brain is wired differently and thinks of sex more. Does he really need to undress a woman every time he looks at her??!! Sex is not a one way street! Sexual harassment is outright wrong!!

The values and morals of respect for women that are not instilled in young minds, is why this turmoil keeps happening over and over. Us women can talk all we want, it means nothing to our future if men are not controlling their minds and bodies themselves. Men are the example, try and be a good one!

anonymous Jun 25, 2014 9:23am

Every person commenting on this website should subscribe to The Factual Feminist on YouTube. It appropriately addresses the pertinent issues, sans hysteria.

anonymous Jun 25, 2014 9:21am

8 out of every 5 women on college campuses in the US will be raped. Fact.

anonymous Jun 25, 2014 3:28am

If 94% of sexual assaults in Canada isn't reported then how did they find out about there being a 94% of being sexually assaulted not being reported?

anonymous Jun 25, 2014 12:22am

Thank you.

anonymous Jun 24, 2014 8:06pm

This article is about (at least partially) women NOT wanting to be viewed as sex objects. Yet you used an attractive, nude woman for marketing purposes to get viewers to read this (which, I'll admit, is why I looked at it). Kind of conflicting messages there, don't you think?

    anonymous Jun 27, 2014 2:08pm

    If it were a man standing there with all of the comments you would not have found it sexually arousing. Instead you would have saw a man holding comments across his chest. But because is it a woman holding comments across her chest it is sexually appealing. This is the exact point the article is trying to make. Why do you find it sexually attractive that a woman is in the photos yet if it were a man could you say the same? If it were a man you would just be like “oh okay a guy holding comments up” but because it is a woman it’s sexual. I think the point of this article is that the woman in the photos be considered just a woman holding up comments and not to be considered a woman sexually enticing men with her body. If a man were in the photo you would have a different outlook on the picture.

anonymous Jun 24, 2014 3:16am

I'm tired of women abandoning common sense and then blaming men for the problems that arise from it. If you choose to get so drunk that you can't remember anything, YOU'RE TO BLAME for the bad decision(s) you made. You have no idea if you said "yes" to losing your virginity to a man because you were too drunk to remember. That's YOUR fault. If you're "crowd-surfing" in a sea of strangers, there's a pretty good chance you're going to get groped – just as there's a pretty good chance that a man would get groped while crowd-surfing. It comes with the territory. Stop whining about the poor outcomes of situations you put yourself in.

More food for thought: if you were so drunk that you couldn't remember what happened the night before, you ought to be happy that you didn't get into your car and end up killing somebody. Stop shirking responsibility and blaming others for your bad decisions.

anonymous Jun 23, 2014 4:17pm

This article was really well written. So thorough. So thoughtful. So experiential and also educational. Love the personal photos. Just…all around well done piece. Congrats on its success!

anonymous Jun 22, 2014 8:57pm

As a woman I find it offensive that’s so many women are telling each other that it is a man’s job to control himself and not our job to control our situation. Although men should control themselves there’s only one person who we as humans have control of. That is ourselves.we need to be prepared for bad situations we need to be able to defend ourselves. Using mens bad behavior as an excuse to not do anything to help yourself is lazy. The only person you can control in this world is yourself. It would be lovely if everybody learn to be non violent good people but there will always be bad people in the world both men and women. The only thing we can do as humans is prepare ourselves. Yes we should teach men to be respectful but we should also learn to defend ourselves and not put ourselves in bad situations. Do not take me wrong I never think it is a woman’s fault but how many situations could be avoided by proper planning.

anonymous Jun 22, 2014 2:57pm

Wah wah wah….having a vagina is soooo hard.

You know what's easy? Making me a sandwich. Hop to it!

anonymous Jun 21, 2014 5:33am

Seriously love this, except the disclaimer "I am not a feminist but…" Women need to feel like it is ok to be empowered and that feminism isn't a derogatory term. All of your sentiments express feminism. Girl, own it

    anonymous Jun 22, 2014 12:35pm

    You have a lot of great points here, but I have to agree that the “I don’t consider myself a feminist” sentiment has got to stop. You ARE a feminist. Every person who starts a discussion like this by saying he or she isn’t a feminist needs to do a little research. Feminism is a good thing. Stop criminalizing the word.

anonymous Jun 20, 2014 10:19am

More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male. http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/me

anonymous Jun 19, 2014 7:27pm

Very nice article, but it saddens me and most likely thousands of other feminists that you quoted "feminist 'male shaming'" when clearly feminism does not at all shame males, it requests equality for all genders. This article reads feminism all over it. In fact, it requests equality for women along the lines that they are drawn out for men which follows the definition of feminism on point. Great article, but a poor choice of words in that sentence.

anonymous Jun 19, 2014 10:01am

I'm sharing a link that is the most powerful truth on this subject I have ever come across.

This is what men and women need to know in order for us to create this peace in society.

anonymous Jun 18, 2014 9:55pm

I find it strange that a lot of people are equating this single violent senseless incident to “a war on women.” Though this insane persons reasons spawned from women’s issues this was one incident that was incited by one person who any rational person is not going to support. Sexual violence is ridiculous and rape is awful but like you said yourself, it will take women and men to equalize all peoples rights. My point being that this the #yesallwomen movement needs a new name. #yeshumanequality would be more fitting and would attract less “defensive” replies from men who feel it is another slam on men and more support for the core issues. I myself feel offended when I read any statement that makes it seem like a majority of men are to blame for women inequality, and that pushes away the good ones “defensive” replies. Why not just it give power to people who do shitty things? If your “friend” jokingly grabs your breast stand up for yourself instead of expecting someone else to and don’t be friends with that person. I am a happily married man who loves, respects, and is kind to my wife and all other human beings who prove to further human love. Don’t give women or men who objectify women or men power and keep close the people who love everyone equally. The feminism movement has barely ” just begun” and the time to fight for all peoples rights equally, regardless of race, sex, class or nationality is now. The big issue is at the core of society where we need to focus on the people who love everyone equally and give ZERO attention and power to those who degrade, destroy, and deteriorate the universal spirit of love that should bind all animals, human, and otherwise.

anonymous Jun 18, 2014 4:20pm

This was powerful for me to read, I thank you for this article. And I feel now, I can finally share my story in a safe place.

After I had just turned 16, I went to a grad party being the youngest there. I was given shot after shot, until I eventually became so intoxicated that I barely remember anything from the night. Not only was I given them, but I accepted them. It was my doing as well. I had older friends whom I considered brothers there, but none looked out for my well being. I didn't know or recognize my limits, and neither did anyone else.

I woke up the next morning, laying next to a 21 year old man, to find out from a group of laughing "friends" that I had lost my virginity, and that some even looked in and watched it happen. They mocked me and said during it I was yelling that it hurt, and still they stood by. I even had a few girlfriends there, who, because they didn't want to be judged by the other guys at the party, stayed back, they didn't want to "cock block" a buddy. What about saving a friend from something she couldn't control in that moment. If I were outside that tent, and heard a friend of mine going through that, I would barge in and drag her ass out of it.

After the incident, I was looked at as a slut, as an easy target for the rest of the guys to hit on, or try to hook up with at future parties. I was broken, and began to see myself as my male counterparts saw me, as a sex object. The guy who took my virginity? He was "lucky" because that night he got it in, he was satisfied, and that was all that mattered in the situation, and my problem, my hurt, was overlooked because my pain became his gain.

I am now a 22 year old working woman, who is trying to let go of her past and move forward in a successful life. But every time I see those people from high school, they only remember that moment at grad. And they don't see me for who I am now, and how I have gone above and beyond previous expectations from others.

#yesallwomen is my voice. It is our voice. It is for all young and older women who have been silenced by guilt and shame. It is for safety for ourselves, but also future generations of women.

Please continue to write with this fire and passion. I hear you, I am listening, and soon many more will too.

anonymous Jun 18, 2014 9:43am

This is a great article. Thanks for writing it. I agree that men have a proactive role to play in the fight for true gender equality. I love that my wife is a strong professional woman, and I fully support women as friends, colleagues, lovers, and equals. It’s past time that men keep quiet. Our daughters deserve a future as bright as our sons.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 11:37pm

Janne, Just a few facts and observations-Hairy armpits are a global norm and not the purview of the lesbian.
I have never seen (or even heard of ) a dyke eating a man.
And I have certainly never seen a feminist overreact.

Do you really want to use your page to perpetuate stereotype and bias? Just asking.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 11:11pm

I would encourage the writer, while she "uses her literary teeth " to explore and expose the use of rape as a weapon of war. This is an under reported and devastating practice and has been used throughout history. This includes our own military history. I have known male soldiers from 3 wars in which the United States military was engaged who are scarred and sickened by the gang rape and torture of women they were made to witness or partake in. Rape is an act that de-humanizes everyone involved.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 10:59pm

Several years ago I had the opportunity to attend an event at which Gloria Steinem was the featured speaker. With every word she spoke I was struck by how clearly she was a "humanist". She gave one of the most well reasoned and thoughtful speeches I have heard. She focused on a true equality and acknowledged the difficult and painful issues that men face in our society. At no time did she bash or shame anyone. Her talk was a beautiful blend of passion and compassion.
I am 58 years old and I have always understood that if you are a "humanist", you are by extension a "feminist".

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 8:42pm

non consensual sex does not exist. there are two types of sex; consensual sex and rape. thats it. we need to obliterate the term "non sensensual" because it tells people there are three different types of sex, and it diminishes the impact of the word "rape". 🙂

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 3:41pm

So one Isolated Incident means that all woman are objectified and men are misogynists?…That's the problem with not just feminists but many groups, it seems like feminist today are plagued by confirmation bias. I don't think it's the culture itself that sees woman in an objectified way but individuals. Me, for instance, have absolutely no problem with females, I completely respect them and see them as equals, and I believe many if not most do, I think it is a minority that thinks the opposite and that is why I think feminism is a bit stupid.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 3:06pm

Oh my goodness. What garbage. Your initial premise is that "men need to be taught to show more respect" before "women need to taught what to wear"….

First of all, men are taught by parents to not even hit women…forget rape. In addition, a majority of sex offenses are committed by a small population of men…there is no one online promoting "#rapeculture". It just so happens that certain men in society have this problem where they do not know how to take no for an answer…how the hell are parents supposed to know that their sons are doing this…because their sons are really going to show their parents what's happening. What we really need is for sexual education classes in public and private schools to talk about how real of an issue rape/respect for women is…because YES, it's definitely an real and large issue. What we don't need is an empowerment for women to be wearing shorter shorts and tighter dresses. Men are designed to find those things attractive. Also, the girls definitely KNOW what they're doing with clothing. I recently served as a graduate assistant at my former high school. Girls would ask to go to the bathroom first hours and change to more tight fitting clothing. Damn it, they want the attention and they're being part of the problem deliberately. A component of it is the media pressuring girls, but for the most part, girls are doing this for attention. Therefore, you can't we JUST need to teach boys about respect…because frankly we ARE but I agree it could go farther. We also need society to teach women a little more about DIGNITY. Women are generally pretty loose sexually with the guys they want to be with…and suddenly when they get raped by a predator, feminists outcry. A COMPONENT of the problem lies on the shoulders of women… All I'm saying is that this needs to be a team effort and that parents of boys are ALREADY pulling some of the weight. Whenever I go to a friend's house, I'm always told that if the guy has a sister, that I ought to treat her with respect and to not look at her in an inappropriate manner. This notion that men are being encouraged to rape or that they're not being taught to treat women with respect is complete bull****

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 12:48pm

I am disappointed you ignored the fact that he also hated men. Yes he hated women for not having sex with him, but he hated men who were sexually active. Those are the two groups of people he wanted to target; women that didn't have sex with him, and men that were sexually active. Not to mention that he said he wanted all men to die so he would be the only man on the planet.

But go ahead and skip over that. Stop perpetuating the notion that women are always the victim.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 12:09pm

Here in America Men hate women…. Here in America Women Hate men….. Here in America blacks hate Whites and Whites hate blacks…. Religion Hates religions…. cant you all see that a house divided against its self cannot stand?… cant you all see that Hate breeds more hate??? And if this Country Falls it will be because the people are divided amongst themselves…. and this country will fall if we keep promoting this feminist bs….
Im 24years old and Its gotten to the point now where I have totally given up on trying to find a wife because women here in america are so Feminist towards Men…
Even if i did get married it would be really hard to make my marriage last through this shit storm of Feminist groups here in america.
so if you ask me to stand up for Feminist Groups like this I WILL NOT…..
In the near future all men and women will be Homosexuals because of the division Feminists groups are creating between men and women…
In the near future Men and women that choose to be with each other will be executed for doing so…
Its all done to control the population…
please open your eyes people….
I have never hurt or raped a woman EVER and im treated as though i have because I AM A MAN…
I would like the get married someday and live happily ever after but that dream seems to be slipping away..
It makes me really sad…

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 10:58am

i think this kind of approach has some specific problems. first of all the cycle of violence can not be perpetuated by men only. all these men have mothers, and did you know: women spank their children more than men statistically? considering that spanking is child abuse and causes negative outcomes from addiction, violence, to suicidality, its clear that women at large are contributing to this cycle every single day. think about it if your mom physically attacked you a few times a week for many years of your child hood you are probably going to have zero empathy for women. this is where the female victims male predator model breaks down. why dont you ask women to stop inculcating women hate into their sons from the age of 1 years old, and yes that is how early people start spanking in this society.

also some more violence used in a widespread manner by women: teaming up with the state to extort alimony and child support by the millions. look if you enter into a relationship voluntarily with a man and he doesnt agree to pay alimony , or theres no child support agreement before the child is born, that doesnt give anyone a right to start threatening violence against them on a regular basis to come out of pocket. thats systemic violence directed against men by women widespread across the nation.

i like to go with a more individualist mind set because everyone is going through some gender based shit and we all have to get out of it together. i do lament the fact that women cannot even start a youtube science channel without the most reprehensible of trolls making outlandish sexual comments, i can almost picture if i was a woman i might not even want to bother with a career. everyone should be afforded the right to be seen for the individual character, skills, knowledge they have cultivated rather than being dehumanized constantly.

males have all kinds of systemic things against them that are nearly or more fucked up than a lot of women go through. for example shouldnt it be a matter of extreme urgency to end mass widespread male genital mutilation of babies? what about sending all the males out to die in war combat for the enrichment of american oligarchs and banksters? what about boys getting spanked by their mothers all around the country? what about enlisting the violence of the state to extort child support and alimony by threat of wage garnishment or imprisonment? the problem isnt treatment of women its empathy for people, period. thats why i dont think feminists bring a balanced approach. they try to co opt men into the feminist camp and claim that its a movement of total purity that cares about equality across the board, but the rhetoric is not empathetic to issues of men.
i have no interest in men vs women debate or taking sides or anything like that because its an individual to individual basis. i try to extend empathy to anyone who suffered dehumanizing atrocities such as rape, but honestly i wouldnt exactly know what to say or how to console that person because rape is a monstrous activity. obviously you have been through some shit with men that has scarred you and you deserved zero of it, and you are brave for speaking out about it. im sorry for what you went through.
im just sharing why i think its inaccurate to state that feminism is a movement for mens equality as well as women.

also, about a woman going scantily clad to a bar, and not expecting to become a victim of rape:
we dont live in a 'human community'… amongst us are men(and women) with zero conscience whatsoever. they are sociopaths and they do not care about any feminism campaign, or right or wrong, they lack the emotion of guilt. also they look for opportunities to find the most vulnerable people to exploit in any way they can. a man willing to rape a woman is basically a subhuman beast who does not respond to moral points and communication. therefore by dressing scantily clad and partaking of the drug alcohol, a woman becomes an obvious target for these 'people'. it makes more sense to think about your safety out there in the human wilderness and make sure you and your friends have a solid plan. because the bars are exactly where the predators hang out.
this is not saying anyone deserves to be raped obviously. no one deserves to be bear food either but if you go to the camp site wearing honey then you might have an inaccurate map of the territory you are traveling in.
until sociopaths can be identified and managed via brainscans or something then its part of the reality, to include them in your calculations. does that argument fall under victim blaming?

    anonymous Jun 17, 2014 1:04pm

    i want to hear a true feminist response to these comments… where ya at

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 9:03am

I'm going to skip down to the pictures. One picture says " 'No' is a sentence." No it's not. It's a pro-sentence, according to wikipedia. Another picture says "My body was created to birth you, not be a sexual object." Is that referring to her son or something? And saying that your body was created for birthing, is implying that your body is still an object; a birthing object.

This was such a painfully stupid article to read and no doubt all the dumbasses are going to soak it up and think it's the greatest shit they've ever read… Even the person who linked this article annoyed me with her post. She said she shouldn't have to feel guilty when rejecting someone. Wtf is that supposed to mean? That you can hurt someone's feelings and not feel bad about it? I'm not blaming you for wanting to reject some people, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel bad for them. If I rejected a girl or a gay man, I would still feel bad about it. I must just be brainwashed the patriarchy and the sexism. Ugh, god people are so stupid.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 9:02am

On to the inane hashtag comments. A fetus has more right than women? Wtf are you talking about? And a fetus still has a chance of being a man? Uuhh no. A fetus definitely cannot switch it's biology. Obviously the male comments were just trolling. But, like a close-minded dumbass, you look at them and think this is how men see the issue.

Ok, you go on and on about the statistics about women being abused. AGAIN, there are some places where feminism is justified. India I guess would be one of those places. And why are you quoting Laci Green? Oh wow, a Youtube vlogger. If she said then it must, undoubtedly be true. Laci Green is an idiot. She does the same shit: sees sexism EVERYWHERE, ignores the realities of situations, uses hypocritical reasoning, and tells people that she's not against men or anything, but spends almost the entire time telling you why men, and only men, are the problem.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 9:01am

What a load of crap. It was hard enough reading through the first few paragraphs and I don't know if I'll make it all the way through, but I guess I'll point out the stupidity one by one. Why does the author list rape and non-consensual sex as two different things? Non-consensual sex is rape… Oh yeah, because if a woman has a sip of alcohol and then has sex, her consent isn't really consent. Or something ridiculous like that. Then she talks about Elliot Rodger. That was ONE guy acting on his own personal feelings. It is not proof of some deep sexism or misogyny in our society. And quit oversimplifying things. There is a difference between hating someone because you feel hurt by them, and hating them just because you think they're inferior or something. His misogyny was not the result of sexism, but the result of pain, anger, and neurosis. But, of course, that is totally ignored and they just go right to the sexism… So typical.

anonymous Jun 16, 2014 1:22pm

To the men who have moltested me:
I forgive you and I pray that you remember who you are, remember that you are worth more then what you've settled for. You are a human being just as I am, and that alone affords you a measure of dignity. You can recover this dignity. Remember who you were, remember what you wanted, remember what you gave up for it, remember the price you've paid. It's not impossible, you can be pulled out of this place, you are not alone. You were never alone. Remember what's been stolen, remember what it was like to give trust, to receive trust. Break free from this self-created cage, the bars are in your mind. You are more then this. Wake up from your long sleep and open your eyes to reality, you can fight for more then this, the battle isn't over yet, don't give up. Wake up to your purpose, wake up to hope, wake up to a reality where you win over the creatures in your mind. You are more then this.
-a friend

anonymous Jun 16, 2014 9:23am

So long as the dominant religions on this planet are patriarchal in their teachings and in their practice…..there will be less respect for women. I adhere to no religion, not because I don't believe in god, but because I don't believe in how religion has destroyed humanity. Rape….the selling of sexuality….prostitution…pornography and all the like actually occur because of the oppressive fear of religion. Open up your eyes and see the world…..don't blame women….don't blame men…..learn to love everything around you the same amount and the respect for and healing of humanity can only follow.

    anonymous Jun 16, 2014 5:04pm

    I see what you're saying, but you can't pin all the faults of humanity on religion. You do realize that many religions are strongly against human trafficking and porn. Also, cultural attitudes of the past have influenced the oppression of women, not just religion (which used to be very much associated with cultural thought and the government). If you think about it, it was a global phenomenon. Even if you look at the world's leaders, you'll see a strong male presence. Does that mean the world would be better without some sort of control or leadership? In no way am I defending everything leaders do (church leaders or state leaders) but I think you're doing exactly what you say not to do by blaming religion. Some people have beliefs, deal with it. Humanity can heal when we can accept our differences and live in peace (even if that means we hold true to our individual beliefs). Your generalization and demonization of religion as a whole seem to create more hate than this respect you speak of. I think it's important to keep an open-mind and realize that just like many others things in this world, there is good and bad in religion. Why? Because people follow religions and last time I checked, people were good and bad. I blame people. People are the problem. On the bright side, people are also the solution. If we can learn to respect and love (which is the core message of most religions), then we'll live in peace. It's about practicing what you preach regardless if you follow a religion or not. It's about being a decent human being: man or woman, religious or non-religious. This article is about women and it raises many points about the injustices against the women of our world. Why is this important? Because we are people and people deserve respect. All people deserve respect no matter who they are and what they identify as/with.

anonymous Jun 16, 2014 9:14am

First of all I want to thank you for writing this article I wish every person on the planet would read this and others like it in an attempt to educate themselves and furthering our society. The one thing that really bothered me about this article is the fact that you stated "I do not identify as a feminist." By definition if you want equal rights and safety for all people regardless of gender, identification, or race YOU ARE A FEMINIST. I agree that male shaming isn't the answer and but feminist shaming is definitely not either. Feminist extremist have given all feminists a bad name, no one should have to feel like they have to put a disclaimer on themselves shunning the word feminist or feminism in order to give their argument more credibility . For change to happen we have got to stand up, band together, say what we really mean and recognize that feminists are not the enemy or problem. Putting all feminist in the same man hating, male shaming box is like putting all Christians with the acts of Westboro Baptist. Don't allow extremists to ruin a good thing for everyone.

anonymous Jun 16, 2014 8:27am

oh my goodness, that was tremendous and necessary and I wish that every single person on the planet can read this and have you as a friend, a mother, a partner, a daughter. Thank you

anonymous Jun 16, 2014 7:29am

As long as women's rights we shall all be fighting animal rights. Women's rights are absolutely important, and let's also not forget the 10 BILLION animals slaughtered each year in the US alone. That's 10,000,000,000 animals for unnecessary consumption such as meat, dairy, and eggs. If you're interested in women's rights I think you have the chance of being interested in animal rights.

anonymous Jun 16, 2014 2:39am

My only crit: "I don’t identify as being a feminist." You're quoting Gloria Steinem. For God's sakes, don't be squeamish about the word. It's been twisted enough. You want this world-wide change, you gotta love the F word. Just say it. The more people who say it in defiance, the better.

anonymous Jun 15, 2014 12:58pm

And here's to you Ms. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know.
God bless you please Ms. Robinson.
Heaven holds a place…

Thank you for writing this. It is obvious you poured your heart and soul(as well as your research skills) into this spectacular and very comprehensive piece.

The Isla Vista shooting struck close to home for me in many ways. We all have struggles we deal with every day and his reaction to his own was so horribly atrocious and seemingly unforgivable. The silver lining(I'm sorry for using the term as it still seems to soon, but it is so apt) is that it seems to have awakened something is those of us who are activists. I'm so glad to hear you have embraced the term feminism; I've only recently accepted the term too. I formerly preferred egalitarian, but now I'm a proud feminist. I say it loudly, every day. I refuse to accept the taboo or stigma it and other terms of the movement carry like abortion or rape. We must talk about all of these, all of the time, in public and to our friends and family. Thank you for sharing your personal stories, they are what is needed. That is why I am so inspired by your article. Thank you for taking your time to research and write this. The hashtag #YesAllWomen has been a great place to focus and a rallying cry, but it is only a starting point…

This piece has inspired me. I've been trying to make myself write more than tweets and facebook posts and your piece was the tipping point. Thank you.

I only hope my silly, sad America can help those with mental illness much better after this and keep horrifying guns out of the hands of violent misogynists. For the last two years I've removed myself from American society, mostly because of people like the Isla Vista shooter and the culture that seems to engender his passions. I've lived in a cabin in the woods about five miles from Canada and I look longingly across the border at a country that seems like an oasis of calm and sanity compared to what America has become.

This piece was heartfelt and touching. Thank you for awakening me and sharing.

anonymous Jun 15, 2014 9:42am

This was a really interesting read. Thank you, Janne.
Thank you to all of the folks commenting as well. It's always fascinating to see a discussion furthered by intelligent (and occasionally less so) people with their own stories and ideas.
I have been confused by the notion of feminism recently, for a lot of the same reasons you and others have discussed already. This has made it all a lot clearer though, and has vastly increased my respect for those taking action to further the cause and make significant changes.

I very much identify with Ryan above, who talked about the damaging effect misogyny has on males, as well as females. I don't pretend for a second that it is in any way comparable to what women have to put up with, but it ultimately affects them in the same way. Folks like Ryan, who are great examples of the male allies you have expressed a need for, will continue to remain in the minority when they are constantly over shadowed by the operations of 'the lads'.
I personally consider myself a very loving person and have always had a great respect for women despite what society has unfortunately spoon fed me growing up. But it has got to the stage now where I am also fighting a losing battle to be able to show my support and respect. I find it very difficult to talk to women properly because I am a man, and the assumption from most people is that I think the same as all men. It is almost as set in its ways as misogyny itself. When the assumption from a girl is that we're only interested in talking to them for sex, how do we get around that to show them that there is hope for their cause and that women are not alone in their battle against inequality?
It's a complicated picture with problems coming from a number of angles, but I think it's all beginning to move in the right direction. And that is the result of an increasing number of intelligently written, and respectfully discussed articles like this one.
Well done, everyone.

anonymous Jun 15, 2014 7:52am

I really enjoyed this. It disturbed me to my core and hit very close to home. 4 years ago I was raped by someone I had known for a long time. When I went to the police they asked me what I was wearing like I instigated it! Needless to say they found I was wearing too provocative of clothes (straight leg black jeans and a nice shirt none of which was super revealing even though that should be irrelevant). The father of my child before she was born thought that because we were dating that when I said no meant that I was just trying to be hard to get and did it any ways. I am no longer with him. My daughter is now almost 2 and I am terrified at the horrible things that she may experience in her life. My heart hurts for all the women out there. I hope things begin to Improve soon!

anonymous Jun 14, 2014 7:04pm

First off, Elliot Rodgers said a lot of things about women, but actually killed more men than women. This post murkies that by saying "six people."

Second, that "poll" you posted… did you ever go to the website, http://www.fearus.org? You should.

There, you'll find the source of those numbers:
"In 1978, 432 adolescents, ages 14-18, were interviewed in the Los Angeles area."
Those numbers are from teenagers… over thirty years ago. Teenagers are notoriously idiotic, plus this was over a generation ago, when attitudes were different. Your use of this statistic is questionable.

Finally, actual rates of sexual assault have decreased, as reported by the Bureau of Justice Stastics:
"From 1995 to 2010, the estimated annual rate of female rape or sexual assault victimizations declined 58%," http://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=

…Which is exactly what we would expect, given that women's rights have gotten stronger while crime has decreased across the board.

You seem to have a good cause… why are you mis-using all of this evidence?

    anonymous Jun 21, 2014 6:38am

    You are missing the point, despite your facts. E.R. killed 6 people, more men than women, only because he failed to implement his plan of killing lots more women. You are using this "fact" to completely undermine and dismiss the legitimate voices of many women around the world. In America, women are now equally educated, hopefully soon to be equally paid, and rape/ domestic violence towards women is decreasing. But many women still feel the stigma of second class citizens–we still have not had a female us president, and few women in congress. We are fighting to be respected, heard, appreciated, which is why SO MANY WOMEN have responded to #YESALLWOMEN. We all know polls aren't accurate and rape is the most under reported crime, by men and women.

anonymous Jun 14, 2014 12:15pm

I'm a male, and I'm so glad to have had a good mother and grandmother teach me the virtues of respecting women, I am absolutely disgusted by some of the male comments that you(the writer) have shared…it saddens me to see someone say "well you wore short shorts so you deserved to be raped"…like really? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? No one deserves that kind of abuse. I feel compelled to apologize on behalf of the male population that are too thick to understand the issue, even though I do not need to but I personally have gotten in fights with men who were abusive to women in public. This crap needs to stop and I'm glad to see people take a stand for themselves. You're all WOMEN..not sexual objects…….and shouldn't be treated as thus out in public…to me the line is clear between flirting and unwanted advances.

anonymous Jun 14, 2014 6:41am

Laws must be made all around the world to protect women, What I've just read from guys in these tweets whatever is just gross, if I knew my sisters or may closest female beloved were forced to have sex, I would gladly go to jail after cut the guy or guys balls off. Men are just gross sometimes. We have to keep all together and demand our representatives to do something about it.

anonymous Jun 14, 2014 1:24am

Nice article. Humanist over Feminist if you are reaching for equality. Humanist Signifies Inclusion, feminist as a term may suggest otherwise. Generally men have warrior mind set, so, feminist movement may be considered a call to war if many of the ideas are targeted to at the wrong doing of man. Both men and women have built the society into what is today, that means women have always had important roles. We are all getting smarter, I don't think targeting one another is the way to reach equality. Because men/patriarchy do this, because women/matriarchy does this…. Think MLK Jr., black and white children, now we should just think our children's children treating each other with respect and dignity. Great parents uplift all not one over the other. It's not Patriarchy fault, it maybe bad parenting.

    anonymous Jun 21, 2014 6:25am

    feminism does not imply gender–many men are feminists. Feminsim and masculinity are principles (character traits, etc) that can be applied to either gender–you are viewing this as a dualistic issues placing genders on opposing sides—but it is really non dualistic, and people that understand feminism understand this principle.

anonymous Jun 14, 2014 12:35am

I used to be anti-feminism. I did not understand why women were so "crazy" about "inequality" and "poor treatment". I thought it was their own fault that they could not take responsibility for their own actions. I hung out with a fraternity (a lot of these guys I'm still good friends with) and used to laugh along to their sexist jokes and remarks about other women and sometimes myself… like comments about their/ my body, our hook ups, etc…

When I was raped while on a date (I said no SOOO many times. When he didn't stop I panicked and froze. I was so terrified.), I finally understood the situation and the point that feminists have been trying to get across. I dropped a lot of friends (male and female) since then because they couldn't see how it wasn't my fault or they would joke about rape and not get why I did not find it funny. The guys I'm still friends with in that fraternity were the ones who called the police and brought me to the hospital. They don't joke about things like that anymore out of respect for me and my sensitivity.
I reported the rape but I dropped the charges before they were even pressed because a very-sorry cop told me it was a losing battle to press charges in the state it happened in. Over a year after my rape, I feel so incredibly lost in how to deal with my realization that I had zero control during and after the situation. I am still trying to recover from PTSD.

The statics piss me off. NO ONE, female or male, should EVER have to go through this. I agree with your article for the most part and really enjoyed reading it. There is such a negative sigma associated with feminism that it tends to make people look the other way. The word "feminism" will only disappear when we finally reached a point where all people feel respected, understood, and safe. We, as a human race, need to learn to respect and understand each other more. No one actually listens to what is being said. Like I did with ALL of my college books that I was supposed to read, people summarize and miss the bigger picture. We need to be equal and know that if we say anything in promotion of our own happiness, the opposite sex (or even the same sex) doesn't feel offended and as if they need to defend themselves (like the "not all men". Because no shit. I know that not all men are like the one who raped me). I just have no idea how we are going to get there or what I can do to help the process (and I have been looking. I have such an emptiness now since that night)…. I think that's the saddest aspect for me.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 9:45pm

Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:

“The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen

I am sorry, but this quote is not relevant to human equality. It is cleverly worded, yes, but not true. The reason why a fetus has rights is because it cannot speak for itself, and it is a matter of taking a person's life – this is extremely sad whether it ends up being a man or a woman. Surely you can see the hesitation behind such an action of abortion and that is why those rights for a fetus exist. In fact, I would not say a fetus has more rights than a woman, but ONE large and important right – the right to live regardless of if the mother wants to deal with the responsibility of her actions or not…..not to say that this is always the case. Abortion needs to be a last resort option in some cases (such as if the mother's life is in danger, or in the case of rape – although I feel adoption is there as an alternative and would be a much more humane thing to do if possible), but at the same time it happens too much for such stupid reasons in this country, denying these unborn humans a right to live. I felt that this quote seemed to put an emphasis on the evil it is to be a man rather than suggesting human equality. Many people, like it or not, believe that a fetus IS a human being and ending their life without the fetus having a say in it is indeed a negative and corrupt thing. And this has nothing to do with thinking a woman is not equal. It is a matter of morality and having feelings of protection for the unborn child. Most people can see that whether a child is inside a belly or not, it can still get hurt and it is wrong to hurt (and especially kill) a living creature! This quote just supports another agenda that does not actually grant human equality to all, and is therefore flawed. Other than that, this article as a whole was spot on.

    anonymous Jun 16, 2014 5:18pm

    I agree with this statement. I don't think fetuses have more rights than women (or that they should). In fact, I don't think anyone should have more rights than anyone else! Should we not have EQUAL rights? Many abortions are carried out to prevent the birth of female children. I have never heard of a widespread phenomenon of abortions due to unwanted baby boys! This is a war on women beginning in the womb! Most importantly, this is a war on the weak and the voiceless (is this not what we're trying to fight?). This article is about equal rights for every human being and I believe every human being has the right to live (male or female).This seems like our most fundamental right. I am a feminist because I am pro-woman and I am pro-woman because I am pro-human. I understand that there are complicated cases and murky scenarios, but I don't think our equality should be based on our right to end lives. This should be a last resort, indeed.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 7:43pm

I kind of hate myself for asking this, because it was listed amidst a bunch of awful and unacceptable experiences in an otherwise spot on article, but there's this internet dwelling smart ass in me that won't let me leave without asking:

Short of going to a women-only concert, how could you possibly expect to crowd surf without having men touch your legs? Breast's I'd definitely avoid touching, and the butt too if at all possible, but the crowd has to support the surfer somehow.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:43pm

    Hey guy,

    I hear you. One must use hands to support anothers body. There is a difference between lifting a person up and sliding a hand beneath a shirt to cop a feel. Would you agree? I am sure many men have also had a women cop a feel of them as well, its not reserved for just women. It was necessary to say– and relevant for me with Aaron Lewis's brave, and justified reaction.



      anonymous Jun 15, 2014 1:46pm

      Interesting metaphor, "One must use hands to support anothers body. There is a difference between lifting a person up and sliding a hand beneath a shirt to cop a feel."

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 6:58pm

While the author has some points, this appears to me to be another rourd of "all women are victims and all men are predators." The author presents all these anecdotal stories of transgressions against her. I could list hundreds of other anecdotal stories of men who adore their wives and friends, men who would pound the stuffing out of any one of the author's predators, and women who turned on their fondlers, abusers, etc, and gave them a lesson they will never forget.

There are also many women who use their sex to manipulate men, so it can cut both ways.

I'm tired of stuff turning an entire group into victims. Instead of trying to make a movement with 100 some-odd characters, get out from behind the computer and start a movement giving more women the confident to push back, use legal methods and other things when they are or perceived they are wronged.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:41pm

    Hi Michael,

    This article has reached 240,000 eyes. It has created undeniable movement and reaction. I am not saying I will not stand on the street and rally for womans rights, but why belittle it? Why belittle any change? Take the energy it took to comment on this article and channel it instead in bettering our world. You do you, and I'll do me and all of it will cause momentum and be of benefit.


anonymous Jun 13, 2014 6:20pm

If women no longer want to be objectified then stop using your looks for free drinks, to get out of speeding tickets, etc. #YesAllWomen

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:39pm


    Reaaaaalllllyyyy? Dear Quinn, stop buying pretty girls drinks and playing the victim.

    And as a pretty girl, I get tickets all the same as you. If you want I can send you a couple I still haven't paid.


anonymous Jun 13, 2014 5:23pm

#Yesallwomen because my attacker asked a judge to continue the case so he would have extra time to gather evidence of our friendship and my “promiscuous” character before the attack, and she granted it. I was at home in jeans and a long sleeve shirt when this occurred. If he is the one that threw me, held me down, and humped his dick on me until cumming, why is MY character the only one on trial??? We have such a long way to go. But I won’t give up. I will calmly tell my story to the court and let it be in their hands. I’ve done my part, and will continue to. I ask all of those that read this- stand up. Join me. Fight with me. Because I should not be on trial while my attacker laughs in court at me crying. Thank you for this article. I am so glad you are spreading the word. Lets go!

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:38pm

    Hi summer,

    Phew, sounds like you are going to bat against something difficult. Than you for speaking out of your experience. I would gladly take a baseball bat, knock on your attackers door and beat his dick in– I mean, wait, that wasn't graceful. 😉 I send you strength sister, I am with you.


anonymous Jun 13, 2014 3:18pm

The existence of prostitution does not justify rape. Nor does the existence of porn, pop music or tight clothing.

Rape continues in our society because people fail to realize that regardless of what those around you wear, regardless of the music you listen to, regardless of what message you interpret from the media, regardless of social pressure, rape is never okay.

No matter the circumstances, rape can never be and should never attempt to be justified.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:36pm


    Preach baby, preach.

    I am with you– where are we marching? Who cares– thanks anyways.

    You rock.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 3:13pm

I can't help but feel as though articles like this would be better off making their point without using cases like Elliot Rodger. The points made in the article are completely valid, and I fully support them, but using someone with a clear mental problem as a case study on the need for feminism cheapens the other points made in the article in my opinion.

Elliot Rodger's viewpoint may have stemmed from a misguided notion of male entitlement, and such entitlement may well be prevalent within many men of our society (albeit in a less murderous form), but let's not overlook the fact that he was a psychopath. Someone with whom a good proportion of the male community has little in common.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:35pm

    Hi Will,

    Elliot rodger was only necessary to write about as he is what ignited the #yesallwomen, which was the topic of this article. He was a fact in an intro, and that's all. He wasn't the be all, end all, or the focal point.

    Thanks for your voice,


    anonymous Jun 19, 2014 1:48am

    OMG you just did exactly the thing that #yesAllWomen is named after! The typical man says, "not all men do these things! we aren't ALL bad"… It doesn't matter because, "yes, all women" have felt threatened in our daily lives. we all feel it, none get left out.

    anonymous Jun 21, 2014 5:34am

    yes, but his issues highlight the societal problem…it is an exaggeration of overt and disguised misogyny, as well as sparking the yesallwomen debate.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 12:26pm

the eternal victim

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:34pm

    Hi Eli,

    I am not licking my gender inequality wounds in the corner– I am speaking out loud about them and claiming back my power in doing so. As are many women. I walk this world as a warrior with ferocious might, but it was important in writing this article for me to dive into my past and let things surface I had repressed.

    Thanks for your voice.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 12:18pm

Almost every single one of these issues could be solved by women learning self defense.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 6:09pm

    right, because i should learn how to fight instead of men learning how to not rape.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 9:25pm

    You shouldn't have to protect yourself from people who SHOULD know about personal boundaries, common respect and morals.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:32pm

    Dear Shania,

    I disagree. Whole heartedly. Please take a second look at that belief.

    We need to live in a world where men can contain their sexual urges and respect boundaries, but I DO agree that it is empowering to take a self defense course. And I feel that it is sad saying I encourage women to, but I do. Being safe is important, and unfortunately our world is not safe for all women to walk the streets yet.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 7:22am

Modern feminism seems to delight in making all women victims.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 4:00pm

    This is what you got from this article?? Please inform us all where the author paints women as helpless victims. Can't find anything? Thought so. This article is tremendously empowering. By naming the misogyny and all the behaviours and attitudes that it is made up of, we then can move forward and build a better society.

      anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:27pm

      Thank you Louise,

      I'm going to reply with a "what she said" to you RhiRhi.

    anonymous Jun 17, 2014 11:42pm

    It isn't modern feminism that makes victims of women nor would a feminist delight in the knowledge that a woman has been victimized.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:36am

What about all those women that make porn movies? Aren't they objectifying themselves and promulgating this issue? Or like someone said earlier, even the scantily clad slutty pop artist like Miley Cyrus or Madonna etc. are promoting overly sexualized images of women as objects. I mean a lot of women promote that type of image so it's partly their fault as well. Or society as a whole… It's a complex problem for sure. Peace, Ted

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 7:16pm

    I think Ted's comments are interesting and they illuminate a few things:

    He seems to associate terms (quite possibly without realizing it- I do not make assumptions about how he relates to women) that may not merit association. "Scantily clad" is followed by "slutty" as though the terms were mutually inclusive. I had to re-read the sentence before I could identify what about it bothered me, because one following the other is so common in a sentence that the problem of the connotative implication is almost camouflaged.
    To my mind, that just illustrates the pervasiveness of this problem. We are so culturally influenced by subtle sexism that equating clothing with sexuality is far too easy.

    To Ted's question: No, I do not think that women are necessarily promoting their own objectification, but I do believe that our society exists within a very uneven distribution of power and sources of power between sexes, and sexuality is one of the only (possibly THE only) area where the balance shifts toward women. I think there should be a distinction between pop stars and porn stars may be exploiting that singular advantage and exploiting themselves, but either way it is their right to do so.

    And to wit: Women were experiencing rape, sexual harassment, and objectification in the Victorian days of high necklines, long sleeves, and low-hemlines… as modern Muslim women wearing hajib and burqas in adherence to their religious beliefs experience it today.

    Ted is right- it IS a complex problem, but it is not a new one. In fact, if you take the power imbalance into account, and concede to the adage that prostitution is the world's oldest profession, then it is a likely candidate for the society's OLDEST problem…

    High damn time we "woman/man-up" and become better as a society.

      anonymous Jun 23, 2014 12:48pm

      I think you bring up a lot of interesting issues, and they all fairly well formulated. However, I see things slightly differently. Let me know what you think!…I think every human promotes their own form of objectification (not necessarily sexual), whether they intend to or not. Obviously, most don't want to be the object of ridicule, or sexualization, neglect, or most things really. However, we makes choices about the way that we dress, and they way we carry ourselves, and the words we use, etc. And in this world we live in, people see us for the person that we present to them. And I don't think we can ignore that.

      Just like if a man walked down the street in his underwear, you might giggle, or you might think, he doesn't have much self-respect, because that's embarrassing. We internally make a judgement about his character by the way he presents himself as a human. We do this because there ARE social norms that carry weight. Such as seemingly trusting a man in a suit more than a man in a dirty tank top and saggy pants. In a much similar way, women who dress overly provocatively (whatever that means, I'm sure the scale is different person to person), can be seen by some to not value herself. Obviously none of these internal feelings give us a right to treat her/anyone differently, or impose our will on her/them at all. So don't make this into a…He's trying to justify rape….comment. I'm saying we REALLY DO treat people differently because we DO see them differently based on how the person chose to present themselves. And it's sucky. How do we change that about humans?

      I don't think the answer is, teach people to stop judging others so quickly. Whether or not we like it, it happens in all of our lives in some way or another. We are perceptive human beings; nobody is 100% judgement free. Otherwise you would take the time to get to know the "creepy" old guy at the playground that doesn't have a kid, but sits there watching the children anyway. Because in most people's minds, he must be a child molester since he's a guy and watching children….but hey, better safe than sorry?

      Just to be clear, again, I'm in no way justifying rape, or sexual advances, etc…because for some reason that's what everyone jumps to in these comments….I'm just explaining why it's not quite as simple as…."we should be able to be as sexual as we want" without being looked at differently. In some way, we're all responsible (or not, I suppose that's up to you) to carry ourselves the way we want to be treated, for our own sake. Mostly because we all have these weird standards that we hold each other to, and place different expectations on people based on those unspoken standards.

      So is the focus on improving our standards as humans? (hopefully without becoming increasingly judgmental to our personal freedoms). Adjusting our standards by re-wiring the way people think/act? (Is this practical on a large scale? Especially since so much of our lives are shaped so young by the world we already live in?)

      I'm just curious about how we actually plan on changing people other than ourselves, so feel free to comment! 🙂

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:26pm

    It is NEVER a womens fault for being raped, ever.

    Even if I am laying in your bed naked, after having flirted with you all night, wearing a short skirt showing my undies, and my boobs hanging out. And I ask you to go home with me, if I tell you "No", it means no.

    Why do you find women scantly clad sexual? you used to be naked around your mom and sisters all the time, right? Nudity is over sexualized by our world, we need to unlearn.

    Even pornstars, and street workers are not asking to be raped.


      anonymous Jun 15, 2014 10:31am

      You're absolutely right Janne. I'd say that would be a pretty cruel thing to do to someone, and I would immediately leave without another word if a woman did that to me, but you're right that it does not in any way justify or make rape an understandable act. And anyone who thinks that a man or woman would be justified in continuing to press themselves upon that person is wrong in every way possible.

    anonymous Jun 20, 2014 3:24pm

    I'm pretty sure there are men in porn movies as well.

anonymous Jun 13, 2014 1:42am

The "one in four" stat is a complete myth, real figure is close to 1 on 40, and has been declining in the past 2 or 3 decades. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNsJ1DhqQ-s

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 8:22am

    We should all probably be clear on what statistics we are referring to, here: the world? The USA? North America? ~ Ed.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:23pm


    2014 stats:

    One of every 17 Canadian women is raped at some point in her life

    A woman is sexually assaulted by forced intercourse every 17 minutes in Canada

    Girls and young women between the ages of 15-24 are the most likely victims

    80% of assaults happen in the victim's home

    70% of rapes are committed by a perpetrator who knows the victims (relative, friend, neighbour, colleague, or other acquaintance)

    Approximately one half of all rapes occur on dates

    62% of victims are physically injured in the attack; 9% are beaten severely or disfigured

    Statistics Canada has found that one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they are eighteen

    Source: Justice Institute of British Columbia



anonymous Jun 12, 2014 10:53pm

I love this. I just want to point out that there are more than two genders. I understand this is a fight for women equity…but shouldn't this fight be for human equity? #wearehuman this is a great start, but u would live to see #yesall____ with every oppressed group. What we really need to win this fight is to educate. We've lit the fire now let's pass it on and let it grow.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:19pm

    Hi Amy,

    Yes! There are more than two genders, however this article was about the #yesallwomen movement directly. I wanted to address it in particular. Transgender is also important, all human beings. Human rights are all worthy of our time. You start #wearehuman and I will walk beside you.



anonymous Jun 12, 2014 7:53pm

Holy Shit Yes

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:15pm

    Fist pound,

    Thanks Jillian.

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 6:37pm

It all goes back to the DISINTEGRATION OF THE FAMILY!!! Teach your children love, respect and values at home while they are young and the world will change for the better. Choose not to and our civilization will continue to spiral out of control until we become lower than the animals and destroy our self's. There are no sides to be taken, we are all responsible for this mess and only together will there ever be hope of fixing it. Social media allows the debauchery of our society to have a voice to spew their filth and hate and it is a true glimpse of the horror that is spreading like a plague across the world. It can only be cured at home with Father and Mother who are faithful and love each other and teach their children how to love and respect those around them.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:17pm

    Yep, belief systems baby. I'm telling you. "If you have a son, remind him constantly of how important the divine feminine is in our lives. Whisper to him each night to walk with tenderness, sweetness and ferocious might for the ones who exist beside him, regardless of gender. Implement strongly the worth, value and importance of females into his belief systems."

    That's the key, implementing worth.

    Thanks for your time and voice.

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 6:26pm

Loved this. Way too intelligent and well worded to be a feminist (those self associated with the term). Excellent article. Really solution focused. Loved this.Re-posting/sharing. It's rare to see someone pushing a solution, especially in this sphere. More common to see finger pointing, which doesn't do jack shit.

Popping into a touch of hypocritical finger pointing, I would warn that current (pop?) culture which many women support and many men reject, is a strong part of the problem.
Cough, Miley Cyrus.
One shouldn't glorify actions, archetypes, or situations then complain when that glorification becomes propagation.

But hey, these failures are minuscule compared to programs like DARE which encourage drug use.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:15pm

    Hi there,

    Well I'd like to correct myself, and tell you now that this intelligent and well worded woman, is a feminist. I used to have a "feminist" wall, and while writing this article I became acquainted with what it REALLY meant, and I think you and I can both agree there is not equality across our world for women. So until there is, I will be a feminist, a man loving, thin skinned feminist who will speak loudly for the basic rights of human beings, regardless of gender. Maybe some day down the line I will need to defend men and I will be a humanist and a maleist, but for now– feminist I shall be.

    thank you for sharing my words and your voice.

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 4:54pm

When the autopsy of the West is finally completed, cataloged, and archived and the abdominal cavity of its culture, society, and collapse is neatly sectioned by future historians (if historians still even exist in this dystopian future we are speedily heading toward), we will remember that Nietzsche was the prophet who laid the foundation for our doom. When objective meaning, purpose, and the self-evident notion that a transcendent Creator made all things are suppressed and rejected by the society at large, the collapse is only a matter of time. For you see, Janne, men with purpose have created virtually every technology, foodstuff, and economic market that have being to keep their women comfortable, well-fed, disease-free, and thus, able to progenate and continue the human race. But no, woman wanted the same privileges as man without any of the same responsibilities such as waging war, bringing energy out of the ground, and myriad other enterprises that incidentally lead to 92% of workplace deaths being male (even though we only work 57% of total work hours). You wage this "righteous" war of "equality" as if those words have any meaning, value, or purpose. If the sun is going to blow up in 4 billion years and the human race is going to go extinct anyways, what's the point of continuing to fight to exist? No, Janne, the nihilism that your worldview leads to knows nothing of the words "right", "good", or "just". All of your vain harping is merely the reverberation of matter that is destined to fizzle out into the darkness of eternal entropy. This is why the radicals in the Religion of Peace will win this war because they actually still believe in something that they believe to be worth fighting, dying, and procreating for. Feminism is one of the many bastard offspring of Marx and Nietzsche that has killed the soul of the Christian West. With that, I'll leave you to your delusion, Janne. And in the aptly stated words of my manosphere brother, Aaron Clarey…"Enjoy the Decline!". Romans 1:18-32

an engineer, future physician, and bio-statistician

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 6:50pm

    Can't.. even.. I don't even know where to start.

    Holy crap, you are scary! I really hope you're trolling…

      anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:12pm

      My thoughts, exactly. I actually read that, and shut my laptop with a sigh.

      So much wrong.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 4:10pm


    "For you see, Janne, men with purpose have created virtually every technology, foodstuff, and economic market that have being to keep their women comfortable, well-fed, disease-free, and thus, able to progenate and continue the human race. But no, woman wanted the same privileges as man without any of the same responsibilities such as waging war, bringing energy out of the ground, and myriad other enterprises that incidentally lead to 92% of workplace deaths being male (even though we only work 57% of total work hours). "

    Did it perhaps ever occur to you that women wanted to be part of the creation but were denied doing so? Do you think every women choose to cook in the kitchen and exist solely to pop babies from our vaginas and raise them for their lifetime?

    Women DO want the same privileges. My mom is the only airplane mechanic at the Vancouver International airport and although women in the trades are currently only 8%, that number is growing. We need more women in our world inventing and pushing our economy. But more importantly we just need people, free of gender doing the things they love.

    Please don't forget Martha Coston who invented the colored flare that was used extensively during the civil war, or Admiral Grace Murray Hopper who invented the compiler, which translates English commands into computer code. This device meant that programmers could create code more easily and with fewer errors. And the next time you load your dishwasher, or turn your windsheild wipers on in the rain while driving–you bet, women in invented those too.

    I hope you can someday remove your head from the close minded ground it is shoved in and take a look around you at a world that has shifted from the times you speak of. I hope as an engineer, and in the shop you do not live what you write, and that you treat the women beside you with respect and worth they deserve.



    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 10:58pm

    Women have been fighting for a long time for even their voices to be heard. You wouldn't know much about the stars at all if a group of dedicated women hadn't volunteered their time to create the coding system that allows us to categorize the them, you wouldn't know much about the sun expanding to a red giant in 5 billion years, nor that the andromeda galaxy will collide with our solar system in three billion years. But as long as women and men work together and respect one another it's likely with our combined efforts we won't be here when that stuff happens. Because we'll have collaborated a way out. So no, the human race will not go extinct, and if you stop looking into the bible for answers and start inventing some, maybe you'll actually be a positive influence on the technological world, and our inevitable escape.

    anonymous Jun 18, 2014 12:48am

    Future Physician, huh? Something tells me you're not going to hit it off at your medical school interviews.

      anonymous Jun 23, 2014 7:56am

      Engineer, Biostatician, and future physician and you're still quoting bible scriptures? Okay fine, believe what you want to believe, but to say: oh, well men created everything so women don't deserve rights is wrong. The idea is we all should be treated equal regardless of how we were born, given the chance many people regardless of race or gender do invent things when given the chance. Also, for a while psychology was dominated by white males, but there are significant contributions from women, including the fact that cells reproduce in the brain, which for a long time was refuted by males. Actually the woman was flogged and not published because of this bias, it was only after investigation we found out she was actually right. That is just one example of gender bias, and I feel like you are part of the problem because you are male and males created everything you are are owed some privilege.

    anonymous Jul 13, 2014 7:26am

    Sir, Please look up the meaning of "narcissism" and once you have become familiar with the meaning of the word, reread your reply- reaction. Its wonderful to have a high IQ, however, to fully appreciate life and respect ALL people, one must possess "emotional intelligence". The fact remains that if all men possessed this "emotional intelligence", Janne would have no fight to fight. Society would be a far more peaceful and respectful environment for all to thrive, grow and enjoy.
    Sincerely, tradesman

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 11:19am

That was a great read, and it's nice to see the comment section contains more insightful comments than oblivious ones.

"Many men do not seem to understand that you cannot achieve equality by paying attention to the group that is ALREADY advantaged." – @Amphy64

Exactly right. The men who get defensive at the suggestion they benefited from a cultural advantage completely miss the point. It doesn't mean that individuals have not worked their asses off or have not made great sacrifices to achieve what they have. I'm a tall white guy who came from working-poor roots who struggled to get to the little place I occupy today. I worked hard for all I have, but in spite of that, a whole lot of the population have an even tougher road through barriers I *didn't* have to face because of my gender and complexion.

I know I was born on third base, but I don't act like I hit a triple to get there.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 3:46pm


    Thank you for taking the time to write me, I hear you. Thank you for stepping over any triggers and seeing the bigger picture. For relating, and reacting and responding with such grace, and also for sharing your own experience.

    I would gladly hang out at home base with you and chew hubba bubba and shoot for shit sometime 😉

    Thank you!


anonymous Jun 12, 2014 11:08am

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU JANNE!

There is a certain pain, loneliness, and brokenness that comes with shunning one's divine femininity. As a kid I despised being a girl. Growing up I wanted to be "one of the boys" and acted like one just so I would not have to face their leery, misogynist, lustful, and uncomfortably sexual objectification.

Imagine being a 13 year old girl in a crowded NYC subway where disgusting men press up against you and try to feel you up. I got so mad one day that I took a man's hand and dug my fingernails deep. Later I looked and there was blood under my nails. Did I regret being so aggressive? Yes. Was it necessary? Yes. Because no one else on the subway even blinked an eye. Women and girls should NEVER have to be subjected to such behavior. We do not exist for men's sexual pleasure. We are here to exist and to GIVE LIFE.

    anonymous Jun 14, 2014 3:18pm

    Hi sandra,

    I have also tried to play one of the boys, but I recently realized I love my womanness. I love my legs, my breasts, my wonderful delicious womanhood. If other objectify my body and make it sexual that is their own shit–not mine. So my frily skirts and long bohemian dresses are back out baby, and so is my femininity.

    I am so glad that you dug your fingernails into his legs, this lit a fire for me reading it. I was laying in bed and read your words outloud to my new man. I was so proud, angry and moved by your words. It was neccesary, speaking our truth is!

    Thank you for your words sister.

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 10:11am

i am a woman. among other things. i am frustrated by #yesallwomen. it seems to me, trying to individuate women in society's eye by lumping us all together in a monocultural blob is the opposite of what needs to be done. i am NOT all women. i am NOT the same as you. if both of us experienced a similar thing, we would still have a completely different feeling in our bodies. we would have a different response. label it differently. i do not agree. i get that most people think this hashtag/movement is helping, but i experience it as an onslaught of mindless culture zombies insinuating that i am a victim (albeit, an empowered to share my righteous indignation victim). i don't subscribe to that. i don't agree with that for myself or for you. i refuse.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:32am

    Well, thanks for your voice. I won't repeat where I stand!


    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 12:54pm

    .. but the point is there are victims. You're very fortunate that you are not one. Women are victims, just for being women. If we can't stand up for our own gender, then how can we even expect men to? How can we ever expect to fully be equal if we don't treat ourselves as equal and stop shrugging it off as, "not my battle"?

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 6:07pm

      thank you, carissa. you took the words right out of my mouth. and abby, whether you've been violated or victimized in a physical or emotional way, or not, you're still suffering from gender inequality in this society. the fact that you may not even be aware of it just goes to show how ingrained it is in our culture.

      "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." – Goethe

        anonymous Jun 14, 2014 3:51pm

        Yes Emily!

        And I agree. Abby and wether we have a coushin here out west, in Canada and the USA. We seem to have found a small pedastol to stand upon, and in doing so lowered our flags a little. But, what about everyone else? What about the 200 plus girls who are still missing and the news has moved on to if selfies give us lice? What about in India where two girls were hung and their families were blocked from removing them as they were an "example"?

        There is a war, and although you may not see it everyday in your eyes–I assure you its there, and deserving collectively of our world to put energy into shifting..

        We need to stop existing from a place of "I" and "me" and start collectively giving a shit about all our sisters who walk beside us.

          anonymous Jun 15, 2014 11:08pm

          I find this last comment troubling. Abblylorenz disagrees with being lumped into the category of #yesallwomen, and it seems here like you are telling her that its not okay. She must stop thinking for herself, throw her "I" away and start supporting women like you think she should.
          Of course you have a right to disagree, but I find these tactics worrisome.

            anonymous Jun 16, 2014 11:43pm

            thanks for getting me. i reject the idea that because i have a vagina women's rights should be my battle. any sentence that starts with "because you have a vagina" and ends in a "you should…" statement sounds dangerous to me. think of all the other sentences so constructed that have created the very struggle you currently feel. because you have a vagina, you should be my property. because you have a vagina you are less valuable. because you have a vagina you should stay in the kitchen, be quiet and stay pretty. i get your sentence sounds nicer, more compassionate, better for the world in general, but it is still a blatant limitation of who you think i am allowed to be based on my gender.

      anonymous Jun 14, 2014 3:48pm

      If you are born with a vagina, womens rights should be your battle.

      Thanks Carissa, bang on point.

        anonymous Jun 23, 2014 11:38am

        What about those of us with penises? Are we invited too?

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 10:00am

Suffragettes were members of women's organization (right to vote) movements in the late 19th and early 20th century. It's been a little longer than 40 years. I am in support of another 100 years though.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:31am

    So great! So much to learn and read.

    I am glad to have you here by our side for the next 100!!

    Thanks for your voice John 🙂

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 6:03pm

    but being a suffragette and being a feminist are not the same thing. and equal voting rights do not equate to social equality!

anonymous Jun 12, 2014 9:00am

Hmmm. This was really interesting. On the one hand, the author made some excellent points and I applaud everyone who is keeping the #YesAllWomen hashtag alive and relevant. Yet I am extremely troubled by a lot o the things Janne Robinson says, and this goes with a lot of younger women today. There is an absolute misunderstanding of what feminism means, a rejection of feminism and disdain for it, at the exact same time she is espousing the values and principles of feminism! She writes that she doesn't identify as a feminist, then asks this outrageous question: "Is it [#yesallwomen] all feminist 'male shaming'?" Just like the "NotAllMen tag, Not All Feminists "male shame"> What the hell is that? (Yes yes I know what it is, I just know that is not what feminism is about.) What is wrong with women today that they don't know what feminism is? She later writes:" by no means is the women’s fight for equality and basic human rights over." Hi, Janne, that- "women's fight for equality and basic human rights"- THAT is feminism. Not male shaming, or man hating, or blaming, or a desire for female superiority or whatever the hell else you think feminism is. Then she goes on to this ridiculousness: "Although most women stubbornly want to claim independence and solve sexism, and misogyny on their own—it is not just women who hold the keys to a solution." Ummm, what women want or think they can solve misogyny on their own? Feminism has always been a movement that recognized both genders need to be on board for equality. And she concludes, despite the HRC equal sign on her cheek, with some lesbian bashing with this line: "And to those of you refusing to move with us, before you shrug off #yesallwomen as a bunch of hairy armpit man eating dykes and over reacting feminists,"—thank you for the stereotyping! That helps. I really enjoy the idea of a lesbian (even a butch such as myself) being someone who doesn't shave and who eats men through her uncontrollable rage and misandry. I only hope this #YesAllWomen drive causes more young women to really educate themselves on feminism and they learn not to insult their very allies when they are trying to make an argument for equality.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:29am

    Hi Allison,

    I have come to terms that I am indeed 100% a feminist, you were not the only person who crumpled their face up and went, but wait? I spent over 40 hours on this article and in the beginning I truly did not identify as a feminist, and truthfully, maybe I didn't understand with it meant. After watching a 40 minute interview on CBC with Gloria Steinem I saw and understood, gently, what feminism was. Feminism can be thin skinned, that rocked my world. I am an activist, I have several expressions of my activism, my main work is with animals, I am also a daughter of two gay moms and battle for soul loving soul rights. Lastly, I realized that although I want to claim to be an "equalist", an equalist does not serve me, for our world is not equal. So I am a feminist, and when there is equality on our world, I will be a humanist and maybe then– men will need support, and I will be a maleist 😉

    I didn't open with being a feminist because at the time of writing that it was honest, and also because if someone had a "feminist" wall they may stop entirely. I wanted to encourage people to just listen to my voice without hitting a wall because of a label. So THANK YOU, for calling me out and explaining to you–what feminism is. For it all means different things to each of us, right?

    The women who want to solve feminism on their own are out there, they may not be a majority but as I stated in the article my very gentle, sweet, sensitive neighbor who is a man tried to go with some females to a topless march in Vancouver last summer and was met with resistance. Some women have been burned so bad (raped, sexually assaulted) that they truly do not want to accept support from men, which is hard because most men just want to show up and be there for us.

    I would like to rewind, stop, explain and then fast forward. I mentioned above I grew up with two gay moms. I am a huge supporter of gay rights. No part of me was "lesbian bashing". There is a stereotype, a huge one that all feminists are hairy armpit, man eating dykes. Which is not true. I said this sarcastically, as whooping extermist streotype to further my point. Does that make sense?

    I want the women who love women, the women who don't give a damn about shaving their legs, and also the ones that do, the women who have been burned by men and are learning to forgive and love again, the women who love men and can receive their support, and men, to be on my big fat equality bus!


anonymous Jun 12, 2014 2:32am

Thank you Janne. Potent read, I feel moved and inspired. Keep going. I hear the rumble.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:13am

    Rumble, growl.

    Thanks for taking the time to say so 🙂

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 9:28pm

I am a male Yoga teacher and I am around women all the time. It is reading about stories like this that made me want to be a yoga teacher in the first place, so that I could be a positive male in the lives of my students. It is sick and disgusting how men think now-a-days, and I personally do not keep any friends who do objectify women as I find it abhorrent and class-less. To be honest, and this is very sad, many times when I tell other guys i am meeting for the first time that I teach yoga, the first thing they ask me is, "So how many students have you had sex with?" It angers me down to my core at times because being a nice guy, all these douche bags ruin a lot of dating for the rest of us. I is unfortunate knowing that when i go talk to a girl I have just met, she may only be thinking that I want to get into her pants, which couldnt be further from the truth. I am not sure why the notion of being "manly" today has gone from being a provider and protector to how many women you can bed down. I am 26 and guys my age are always talking about how many women they have slept with. Being someone who can still count the number of partners I have been with on my two hands, I can still see all their faces, remember the women that they were at the time, remember what I loved about them in those moments. They were not notched on a bedpost, but women, human beings, who had an affect on my life. I just cannot understand how some men can be so insensitive… Maybe I was lucky that my mother was a strong woman and that my father respects and cares about my mother. I can remember one time when I was a lot younger, middle school age, and I was mean to an ex-girlfriend who still liked me. My mom found out and screamed at me for it and then explained what that feels like. Now Im just writing an essay that maybe one or two people will read… In conclusion, You Go Girls, I'm on your side and hope the consciousness will change for the better!

    anonymous Jun 12, 2014 4:26pm

    Ryan if there were more men like you in the world it would be a much nicer place for people to exist in.. :/

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:16am

    Hi Ryan,

    Thank you for sharing your story and for using your voice to not only support my own but the gazillions of other women on our planet. We need to live in a world full of more Ryans! I love the way your heart and mind works.

    It's so very important to hear intelligent, well articulated men speak up on this issue.

    You the bomb, diggity.



    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 5:06pm

    I think it's very telling that you never use the word "man" to describe yourself. You only use it when you're disparaging men in general.

    When I meet someone who calls himself a "male", I know I'm dealing with a self-hating misanthrope.

    anonymous Jun 15, 2014 9:59am

    Hi Ryan, the only part of your comment I'd like to address is where you say that you refuse to associate with people who think mysoginistically. I would encourage you to fight through that abhorrence in an attempt to show those men how they SHOULD be acting. People like that won't change as long as they're alienated to groups that think the same way. Try to stay calm in those situations and articulately point out what is wrong with their thought processes. Don't yell, don't scream, don't rant, just do your best to convince them of their wrongness. You may be the only person they will meet who is willing to stand up to their viewpoint. That's my only thought on your comment. Have a nice day, and thank you for being a decent human being.

    anonymous Sep 20, 2014 12:41pm

    Thank you for responding to this article from such an understanding place. We #YesAllWomen appreciate the male counterparts that can relate and stay strong with us.


anonymous Jun 11, 2014 7:11pm

I am from Sherwood Park and attended the same Junior High you speak of. This article is beautifully, passionately written. Thank you for raising your voice and inspiring others to do the same.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:13am

    Thanks for taking the time to write me Lindsay. Small world 🙂

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 7:08pm

Thanks Janne! Good article 🙂

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:05am

    You're so welcome! Thank you for the thank you 🙂

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 5:28pm

as long as sexuality is used as a commodity to be bought and sold and females continue to make a living off selling their sexuality then you are fighting a losing battle

you can thank all the female superstars like Beyonce and Lady GaGa and Rhiana and miley Cyrus when your movement fails because they are the one's keeping your sexuality up for grabs,controlled,exploited

    anonymous Jun 12, 2014 6:01am


    anonymous Jun 12, 2014 8:10am

    And now you sound like the men who assault women, blaming women for it. By saying Beyonce promotes rape because of the way she dresses is the same thing as this article stated. You obviously don't get it.

      anonymous Jun 12, 2014 12:02pm

      That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying that they sell their sexuality. Not promoting rape. No woman goes out there and promotes rape. Female superstars (as well as male superstars) use their sexuality to bring in more fans and more money. This isn't promoting rape. This man is just being realistic.

        anonymous Jun 13, 2014 4:00pm

        No one can "sell sexuality" if people as a whole were not taught to objectify. There is no market for sexuality if decent people come together and refuse to buy. In nature many species show off to the opposite sex in many different ways whether it be flashy plumage , a pile of collected stones, a built structure….. then the opposite sex shows interest but in all of these species the one showing off, the one trying to attract a mate still gets to choose out of the ones that show interest. Why should it not by looked at the same in humanity after all we are just another species. But instead we are taught that objectifying and slut shaming someone that dresses or acts a certain way is "normal" that with out specking they are "asking for it". As is said in the article BOTH men and women are guilty for perpetuating this and its time we all stop and take a good look at what really needs to change and it is not what people are doing , its the way they are thinking that leads to this. Thinking it is okay to objectify anyone male or female in a way where they are judged by anything but what they actually communicate that they want is WRONG!

          anonymous Jun 14, 2014 2:24am

          Part of the problem is that "selling sexuality" is one of the many things that society does that teaches people to objectify. That's the point of this argument.

          The sexualization of people in media teaches the masses that it's okay to objectify. Just like pornography, it teaches men and women of all ages that it's okay to look at another person as a gratifying hunk of meat, there to serve and to pleasure.

          This is a wrong outlook, and it will not go away until people are taught better.

          It is hard to teach people better when we're teaching them the opposite message through every media outlet that exists.

            anonymous Jun 14, 2014 5:09pm

            A woman should be able to be as sexually as she wants , and not have to worry about being a tease ect I should be able to lay in the middle of Times Square touching myself and although I find that tasteless I should none the less be able to do it and not have to worry about being raped wheelie imfind selling people in any fashion disgusting that's not the problem t the individuals who have been taught that mean she is asking for it and attitudes as such when a song like blurred lines can be number 1. We all have a problem

              anonymous Jun 25, 2014 3:01am

              So when my ex (who is still a close friend of mine) is kissing me and we both have our pants off and she tells me to put on a condom, I "raped" her because of those blurry lines?

              Bullshit, this is why their will NEVER be equality, because few women will grow up and stop being so dismissing and accusatory of everything a man says and does.

              Sex is a confusing thing, and people like you will only be happy when men grovel at your knees and sign a damn contract before having sex.

              I will teach my daughter to TALK to the men in her life, and understand that they are confused and full of hormones. She will be careful and thoughtful, now that is crazy talk!

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:06am

      Touche, thanks Wendy.

      anonymous Jun 25, 2014 2:57am

      Why jump to such a drastic response, as this person approves of rape? What he is talking about is ACCOUNTABILITY, and that is from all people. Do you really not understand that women have a role in this as well? That women use this for power, that many LIKE the way things are?

      We have to look at the big picture, instead of just placing blame and pointing fingers. The gender issues are complicated and need to be fully discussed, if you think only men are to blame than you are as ignorant as anyone else, which you apparently are as you posted such a discriminating thing as assuming because a MAN disagrees with you, than he must be a rapist. Is that what you want? For all men to either submit to you, or be seen as a horrible monster?

      It is time for more women to talk about these things, and more, especially the amount of abuse by women that almost no one talks about, even though it is almost 50/50.

      And no, I have a daughter, and a trans step-daughter, and a partner, I am not okay with rape. i am also not okay with anyone being so accusatory. Grow up Wendy and think about someone other than yourself.

      "WE are the Patriarchy" Brene Brown, referring to women.

      anonymous Jul 10, 2014 1:57pm

      So your saying its ok women musicians to dress half naked and dress and act like sluts to get more attention and to sell their records? I saw in a more recent post where a woman said something like “its not a woman’s fault she attracts a mans attention when she wears clothing that shows ally of skin”. That’s a dumb post she made. Put a woman in a long sleeve turtle neck sweater with a big bell bottom dress on under it and see how many guys think sexually thoughts about her. Then the next day later put her in a skirt that stops and inch below her butt line and a tight sleeveless shirt with no bra on under it and see how many sexually thoughts she gets then! A lot of the comments women are making on here is irrelavent. Every time I go to the beach and I can hear a group of women/girls that don’t have guys with them, all they talk about is how hot guys are around them and what they wanna do with them. But THEN it IS in fact the guy setting himself up by not wearing a shirt, right?

    anonymous Jun 12, 2014 11:03am

    If a woman chooses to dress "sexy" it doesn't mean you have a right to have sex with her. WTF. If a woman chooses to charge for sex, it's her prerogative, not whatever dude gets it up. I presume then, that men should get raped for walking around without shirts on… if their jeans are too tight. Seriously, what kind of person can justify forcing someone else to have sex? Hmmm… maybe those who can't get sex any other way.

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:06am

      It is messed Maricel! Truly, some people are wired that way and need to unwire.

      Thanks for your voice!

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 11:49pm

      And women have have zero rights to obtain commitments from men. You can do whatever you like. If a man chooses to convert to Islam and then go marry a 19-year old from Kosevo…. that's his perogative. Enjoy your cats in your old age, Maricel.

    anonymous Jun 12, 2014 11:35am

    Sexuality is a commodity because there is a high demand for it. From who? Men.

    Historically and presently, women choose to sell their sexuality because it is one of the ways that they can attain some sort of security or power for themselves. Until the 1900s (in the U.S.), very very few women have been able to hold respectable jobs or high paying positions. Yet women have needs too, to feel financially secure, to feel independent, to feel powerful. Those needs are not exclusive to men.

    However, meeting such needs has been difficult for women, to say the least. Women's intelligence and brains were not appreciated or valued. Women's sensitivity, openness, and compassion were considered useful only at home with the kids. Women's physical prowess was deemed inferior to men's and thus obsolete. What else do we have? Our sexuality. No surprise then that many women have chosen to use their sex to obtain favor/powers/prestige/fame.

    Do you think Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Miley Cyrus would be displaying themselves the way they do if we live in a society where women's intelligence was valued more than her body? No.

    Do you think that girls would be posting barely clothed sexual selfies if we live in a world where women get more attention for doing awesome things like raising $100,000 for charity, running a company, or even planting an edible garden? No.

    Take responsibility for your own actions. Are you going to keep doing something just because people still do it? That's called being a sheep. That's called laziness, complacency, and utter disrespect for your own integrity as a conscious human being who can change his actions. The opposite of evolution, might I add.

    I thank all the wonderful men in my life who are grown up, responsible, respectful, and self-aware. They are rare. They are precious. And they are deeply loved.

    Despite the fact that you, Jay, do not seem to have any of the above qualities, I hope you can actually find a woman who truly loves you for who you are, and not just because she is insecure and self-deprecating. And I hope you at least respect your own mother.

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:12am

      Hot Damn.

      Everything you said, twice over again. That was so beautifully articulated, with grace and fire.

      THANK YOU!

      anonymous Jun 14, 2014 2:30am

      Just because their choices of portraying their sexuality for profit are understandable, does not mean that it doesn't also go to support the negative status quo. They are among those who help teach young men that that is what they should seek, and they teach young girls that that is a woman's path to power. Neither of these things help, which I think is what the Jay was getting at.

      Also, if you pay attention, young men also try to post barely clothed sexual selfies. Nobody pays attention when a man does it though, because no-one cares.

      I'm not trying to argue, but those two points seemed like it could be good to bring up. I agree primarily with the essence of your post. 🙂

      anonymous Jun 14, 2014 9:39pm

      the article talks about women (and men) coming together to obtain equal worth, so women are equally as responsible for perpetuating the cycle of "selling sexuality" as men. if there isn't a supply of women willing to sell their sexuality, then the demand from men means absolutely nothing. any famous female celebrity that promotes sexuality as a commodity only detracts from the #yesallwomen movement. women should be able to walk around during the day in a bikini or "suggestive" clothing without any sexual implications or threats from men. by the same token, women "posting barely clothed selfies" in an explicitly provocative manner takes away from the purpose of the movement. again, i am not saying that women are promoting rape culture by doing so, i just believe that women are providing the supply of sexuality as a commodity to meet the demands of men. if men and women, together, can work to decrease the 'supply and demand,' i think the movement will gain much more momentum instead of blaming only men for having a response to explicitly sexually provocative images, posts, etc.

        anonymous Jun 17, 2014 1:04pm

        Women have had to "supply" their sexuality in order to survive when
        there is no demand for their even greater gifts Equalizer. I believe that is the point Yepitssandra is making

          anonymous Jun 17, 2014 3:31pm

          I've got no problem with anyone selling sex or sexuality. People sell their physical attributes all the time (manual labor). And just like other things we can sell – our strength, our intelligence, our skills – the fact that we sell them does not give anyone else the right to take them. There is a bigger market for sex from men – there is a bigger market for major physical labor muscle from women… there is no reason to differentiate, they're both skills, and both commodities a person should be able to sell without backlash if they chose.

            anonymous Jun 23, 2014 3:19pm

            Pretty sure most people would NOT agree that there's "no reason to differentiate" between being paid to build a shed and giving a blow-job to a stranger. Physical labour and sexual labour are NOT similar (emotional component) and your comment reflects a lack of critical thinking. We aren't just physical 'things', we are emotional too (some more stunted than others). These issues require you to use not just your head but your heart. Perhaps you should put the shoe on the other foot and imagine a bigger, intimidating man paying you to _____.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:11am

    Hi Jay,

    Equal rights for human beings that have a "wo" in front of "man" will never be a losing battle, in my mind.



    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 12:51pm

    What about the men that do just the same? We can't control the actions of others, but we can control what we do and the voice that we want to be heard.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:02pm

    exactly my thoughts. if it wasn't for the media potraying women like sexual objects and the celebrities themselves in such a way perhaps this cause may survive

    anonymous Jun 15, 2014 10:05pm

    It doesn't matter what celebrities do (they're all just mere puppets anyways) that certainly isn't an excuse for you to still treat women that way. Think about your statement Jay.

      anonymous Jun 23, 2014 11:36am

      Jay clearly isn't talking about the way HE treats women. Reword your statement Jack.

      Jay is describing how celebrities have a substantial impact on our culture. And too many of them are over sexualized. Whether the sexualization of our culture created them, they they created the sexualization of our culture, we don't know. Regardless, it perpetuates it. For too many people….whether you're 6 or 60, you see it and absorb it.

      Yes. I would like it to stop. But good luck trying to get hollywood to tone down the sex….

    anonymous Jun 18, 2014 10:34am

    If a man is allowed to expose his body, why shouldn't a woman be granted the same freedom?

    anonymous Jun 20, 2014 3:20pm

    There are male superstars who do the exact same thing, your argument is invalid.

      anonymous Jun 23, 2014 11:30am

      Lol…so the male superstars promoting their own sexuality are actually promoting men to be more sexual towards women? I fail to see the connection you're making…

    anonymous Jul 9, 2014 5:07pm

    Women have the right to own their own sexuality. If they want to sell their own product with their sexuality it is none of your fucking business and should have zero impact on whether YOU have a right to ignore it when a woman says no to you. No means no

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 4:11pm

Eliot rogers hated everyone not just women.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:05am

    True, but he hated women extra. Although speaking of Elliot rodgers was relevant in introducing where #yesallwomen came from, he was not the point of the article. Just had to explain what sparked it all!


    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 1:22pm

    Yes but the majority of his hate was aimed at women. He hated most men for their ability to pick up women while he couldn't. This still goes back to his misogynistic views about women not sleeping with him

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 1:46pm

    But only women matter. Haven't you learned anything?

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:12pm

    but he didn't kill men.

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 7:01pm

      Uhh, not sure which of the 50 news sources you weren't paying attention to for that week, but yeah he killed 4 men and 2 women. He was still a misogynistic and racist prick, but let's not get our facts twisted.

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 7:30pm

      I'm not by any means trying to defend the notion that he wasn't fueled in large part by an incredibly messed up view* of women, but it's worth noting that he actually killed more men than women, if only to seem more credible.

      *Saying that he simply hated them seems maybe a bit too simplistic, he apparently hated the fact that they refused to fulfill what he saw as their purpose of sleeping with him. Which seems like it might be a distinction worth making when the goal is to rid the world of his ugly views.

      anonymous Jun 14, 2014 2:09am

      he killed more men than women

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 2:01pm

Great content. Really, you hit the nail on the head for 85% of the article. But I'm really disappointed to see you be so opposed to feminism when you seem to embody the very ideals that feminism is comprised of. Feminism is not about, as you say "feminist 'male shaming'" and while there are certainly people like those you describe at the shirtless event, that exclusion of men is NOT a component of feminism. This seems to me like yet another case of someone who needs to learn more about what feminism really is, because it sounds like you don't really know.

You say "I want women to have worth. I want to exist in a world full of empowered human beings—that includes both genders." That, my dear, is feminism.

    anonymous Jun 11, 2014 5:08pm

    Feminism seems to have gathered a lot of momentum in the wrong direction, in the view of many men. In fact, just a couple years ago, I didn't identify as a feminist, because I thought it meant anti-men. But now I understand that it's not just the struggle of women, but the struggle of an entire race to rise above the hate and blindness that we've bred. Although, feminism is a fitting word, I think it deserves something more noble and equalizing, as there is no cause more noble than the advancement of our race.

      anonymous Jun 12, 2014 3:41am

      'Feminism seems to have gathered a lot of momentum in the wrong direction, in the view of many men.'

      With misogynists who strawman feminism, yes. They claim to have issues with feminism because actually, they don't like it, fullstop, they are terribly afraid of losing their male privilege, and their sense of entitlement makes it feel to them that they are losing rights that were in fact never rightfully theirs to begin with. Giving up the word feminist represents a capitulation to them, as absurd as a racial equality movement being asked to factor in the feelings of white supremacists. Men have, for centuries, abused, controlled, mistreated women, denied them their rights. Being angry about this, feeling the pain of the women who came before me (and these are close family members, my grandmothers, my mother, this isn't something in the distant past), does not mean I hate men and want to treat them the same way – otherwise perhaps I WOULD only want 'equality'. Men can work with us but I will not pander to them. I won't let them steal our words.

      Many men do not seem to understand that you cannot achieve equality by paying attention to the group that is ALREADY advantaged. The cause of female liberation from oppression (which will result in equality) is a noble one, and if a man doesn't understand that he will not advance that cause.

        anonymous Jun 14, 2014 2:20am

        I wish it was only misogynists strawmanning that gave feminsists their rep.

        Unfortunately there are also those who are actually misandrists who masquerade as feminists in order to draw attention to their "movement". These are the ones who provide the fuel for those who attack feminism, or are the ones who give people the wrong impression of it.

        Of course, saying things like "Men have, for centuries…" done such and such things doesn't help the feminist movement either. Traditionally, the male oppression of females is more a tradition or an institution rather than something that "Men do". There have been plenty of women who are at least as culpable as men in said oppression. I have friends who still can't eat in the dining room with their male relatives, and it's not the men who actually care: it's the grandmother.

        The fact is, a lot of men take offense simply because of such broad-handed statements such as "Men do," and "Men have done" lump them in the same group as some very horrible human beings. They take offense because human decency says that the things they're being accused of are heinous and wrong, thus the statements of "Well, not all men."

        Sensitivity is the key here. If you want to win a fight, you can't alienate the people who would be your allies. That's a pretty basic principle.

          anonymous Jul 3, 2014 10:54am

          "Sensitivity is the key here. If you want to win a fight, you can't alienate the people who would be your allies. That's a pretty basic principle."

          @twelvth – You are my hero!

          on a side note

          The term feminism if feel is non constructive. http://thesaurus.com/browse/feminism, the synonyms for feminism are separating not unifing. If we asked a kid who's never head that word before and ask them what they think its means I think you'll understand how that word isn't representing both sexes equally. The younger generations will be the ones pushing this further, why not start by teaching them what feminism means with a less confusing title.

          That word is far to associated with women and is therefore unbalanced.
          I feel that if you want balance you have to come from both places not one and as long as that word is utilised there will be no balance but confusion.

          When I typed that word in the thesaurus I saw 11 related words, only one represented men and women equally.
          If we want people to come together we have to bring them together peacefully, the second we bring in separation we'll find conflict.

          I as a man am sorry for any suffering any woman may have been caused due to men, but before being a man or a woman we are human being. Its peoples attitudes towards being different that need to change, whether is its based on being a man or woman, based on race or on religion or being straight or gay. its people who need to change not just a sex.

      anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:35am

      Yes! Wonderfully said. Part of my wall with feminism was the "anti men" because I LOVE MEN, and think there are mostly good men walking amongst us.

      Thanks for your voice 🙂

    anonymous Jun 11, 2014 6:22pm

    That, is equality.

      anonymous Jun 12, 2014 10:44pm

      I love this. I just want to point out that there are more than two genders. I understand this is a fight for women equity…but shouldn’t this fight be for human equity? #wearehuman this is a great start, but u would live to see #yesall____ with every oppressed group. What we really need to win this fight is to educate. We’ve lit the fire now let’s pass it on and let it grow.

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:33am

    Hi Katie!

    Did you comment on the main EJ page, I replied there too 🙂 I have come to terms that I am indeed 100% a feminist, you were not the only person who crumpled their face up and went, but wait? I spent over 40 hours on this article and in the beginning I truly did not identify as a feminist, and truthfully, maybe I didn't understand with it meant. After watching a 40 minute interview on CBC with Gloria Steinem I saw and understood, gently, what feminism was. Feminism can be thin skinned, that rocked my world. I am an activist, I have several expressions of my activism, my main work is with animals, I am also a daughter of two gay moms and battle for soul loving soul rights. Lastly, I realized that although I want to claim to be an "equalist", an equalist does not serve me, for our world is not equal. So I am a feminist, and when there is equality on our world, I will be a humanist and maybe then– men will need support, and I will be a maleist 😉

    Thanks for your voice and challenging me!

      anonymous Jun 15, 2014 11:57am

      > So I am a feminist, and when there is equality on our world, I will be a humanist and maybe then– men will need support, and I will be a maleist.

      The reality is that men and women simultaneously have problems. It isn't as simple as "women are oppressed and men are privileged" – as if you can assign a single number ("men are at an 8 and women are at 6, we need to close that gap"). For example, males are only 42% of the college population. Males are 4 times as likely to commit suicide. They are 7 times as likely to die in a homicide. Men are more than 10 times as likely to die in a workplace accident. There are more men than women held as slaves around the world. Men's problems tend to go unreported in the media because it doesn't fit the current cultural paradigm of advertising women's problems, and many people fear that bringing attention to men's problems will distract from women's issues. If you think you need to me a feminist or a "maleist", then you're ignore the complicated reality that different genders can have different problems at the same time. I recommend looking at feministcritics.org for examples of ways that men's problems are ignored and hidden away.

    anonymous Jun 17, 2014 6:29am

    No my dear, that's equality

    anonymous Jul 7, 2014 12:58pm

    I'm guessing it has to do with her not being one for Feminism, but rather HUMANISM. Perhaps lending some credit to the thought that women are not greater than men any more than men are not greater than women. Maybe the author, as symbolized by the face paint, believes in EQUAL rights. I tend to think we could all use a bit less feminism and a whole lot more humanism.

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 1:34pm

Great job. Thanks for writing this… We all need to look out for each other!

    anonymous Jun 13, 2014 2:03am

    Thank you Yoli! Yes, AGREED!



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Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a poet, writer, bushwalker, idealist and animal activist currently residing in Vancouver Island. She cuts kindling with her teeth, eats Bukowski for breakfast and makes the habit of saying the word feminist as much as possible. She surfs naked, pees in the woods, and loves whiskeys that swing their hips when they walk and know what they are doing. Janne’s life-work is to be transparent. She makes a living off hanging her dirty and clean laundry out for the world to see. Her mission is to give others permission to also walk and exist with the same transparency. You can connect with her on TwitterInstagram and Facebook. Please also visit and connect with her Facebook writer’s page. Check out Janne’s website.