Why I Give a Damn About #yesallwomen. {Adult Content}

Via Janne Robinson
on Jun 11, 2014
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“The women’s movement has really just begun. In this wave, I would say—you know—from what we can see from history, movements do seem to have to last about a century before they really fully absorb by a culture, or many cultures, and we are maybe 40 years into this one, so I think for all the great social justice movements, which are all connected, of course anyway. We probably have quite a ways to go, and we might need other waves in the future, before finally people are regarded as unique individuals, rather than groups.”

~ Gloria Steinem

 ~

What is #YesAllWomen?

An outcry from the women of our world.

An outcry of repressed, unheard and denied voices speaking up about assault, rape, nonconsensual sex, harassment, sexual objectification, inequality, sexism and misogyny.

A much needed women’s movement on our planet.

“Me toos” have taken over, as the cry of anger gets stronger and louder. I can feel it vibrating from my screen, and pulsing in my veins as I scroll through the words of thousands of women and men adding their voices to the fight.

Women all over the world are empowering one another to stand in the light and take a stand after Elliot Rodger’s “War on Women” that killed six people and wounded 13 on May 23, 2014.

Elliot Rodger, a 22-year-old man living in Isla Vista, California resented the women who turned him down in the past, “starved him of sex” and “kept him a virgin,” and the “men who they chose to sleep with instead of him.”

He spoke freely of his hatred for women between his disturbing 22 YouTube videos and 141 page misogynistic manifesto. He uploaded a video onto YouTube the night before his attack titled, “Elliot Rodger’s Retribution,” where he spoke of attacking the very girls who represented everything he hated in the female gender—the hottest sorority of UCSB.

He believed that, “Women should not have the right to choose who to mate with. That choice should be made for them by civilized men of intelligence.”

He also proposed concentration camps for women, with only a select few allowed to survive for reproduction.

On the night of May 23, after emailing his 107,000 word manifesto, “My Twisted World: The Story of Elliot Rodger,” and killing three men in his apartment, Rodger drove to the Alpha Phi Sorority house and opened fire on women and men.

On May 24, the Twitter hashtag #YesAllWomen was created as an outlet for women to share their experiences surrounding sexism and misogyny. The hashtag spread like wildfire through the social media world, reaching 1.5 million tweets and 1.2 billion impressions, and peaking at 61,500 tweets per hour on May 25.

In my first five minutes of research online I came across a tweet that read:

 

Jenna Glatzer (@GhostwriterJG) May 31, 2014:

#yesallwomen because a man on the train stood behind me and began pressing himself into me and everyone pretended not to see.

 

I clicked “expand” on the post and read comments from several men. As I read, a slow, hoarse, momma-grizz growl escaped my lips for the women of this earth.

Mick hucknell ‏(@MHucknell) May 31:

@GhostwriterJG You are aware that trains have seats so these things can’t happen right?

~

Andy [email protected] May 31:

@GhostwriterJG Hahahahahaha.

~

Matthew Adams [email protected] May 31:

@GhostwriterJG It wasn’t my fault, it was a bumpy ride.

~

Fatoush Hakbarah [email protected] May 31:

@GhostwriterJG u look like a man

~

Señor Suerte [email protected] Jun 1:

@GhostwriterJG I would have watched the whole thing and probably touched myself later.

 ~

I am a woman.

I don’t identify as being a feminist.

I do identify as being an activist, and an advocate for human rights.

I have walked down a public street in broad day light with a friend of mine in a dress and had a man grab her crotch.

I have crowd surfed and had men touch my breasts and legs.

I do get my keys out of my purse and ready when I must walk to my car in the dark. I walk quickly, and I look behind me.

I once had a male friend, who I trusted, grab my boob and laugh when I angrily reacted in a public place, and none of the men surrounding spoke up for me.

I have had men in Indonesia surround me, leering, photographing and video taping me, despite my verbal objections and physical attempts to lose them on a ferry. I have had those very same men physically grab me and try and put me in a “taxi” that was a van.

I wear long pants and sleeves while leaving an airport so as to not call attention to myself, my body and the fact that I travel alone as a woman.

I have gone through phases of my life where my closet is full of men’s clothing and I have denied my divine femininity, because I wished to dodge unwanted sexual objectification of my body.

I once had a man follow me walking on a beach in Greece, jacking off in broad daylight as he watched me. When I went looking for support, I was met by three groups of people—male and female—who after hearing me explain furiously, my cheeks wet from tears, shrugged, laughed and told me, “so?”

I get more male attention for my legs than I do for my brilliant brain and red, beating heart.

I’ve had a general manager of a Joey Tomatoes in Sherwood Park tell me I needed to put some energy into my “work ethic and performance.” When I asked him how I could improve, he replied that I “needed to start wearing high heels, straightening my hair and wearing make up to work.”

I know a woman who has been forced against her will, abusively, to have non-consensual sex and told me from behind a bruised face the next day that “she asked for it.”

I was given bear mace as a gift when traveling to Thailand for the first time.

Many members of the opposite sex, including employers, have told me that my “sensitivity” is a problem. When men call other men “girls,” it is a synonym for being weak. I see my sensitivity and open heartedness as my greatest strength, and others inability to live from this place or respect it their biggest weakness.

All the women in my class were uncomfortable with the teacher of my junior high, known as “Mr. Touching,” who requested that no women wear jackets in his class, as a class rule and policy.

I took my first stand against sexism when I refused his “no jacket policy” and wound up in detention.

I want to pick up  hitchhikers every time I see a thumb on the side of the highway, but if it is a man—I don’t stop.

“I need feminism because my vagina shouldn’t give me special treatment or shitty treatment, it should only give me ORGASMS.” ~ Shannon Roberts.

~

From women on #yesallwomen:

Mayhem (@DavySunshine) May 27,2014:

Because what men fear most about going to prison is what women fear most about walking down the sidewalk #YesAllWomen

~

Sophia Bush (@SophiaBush) May 25, 2014:

#yesallwomen because “I have a boyfriend” is more likely to get a guy to back off than “no”, because they respect other men more than women

~

Deb Whitman (@DebAARP) May 29, 2014:

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it…without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Maya Angelou #yesallwomen

~

 Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:

“The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen

~

Lili Stenn (@lphaedraa) June 5, 2014:

#YesAllWomen because when we put up posters in school to raise awareness about rape culture, they got taken down by the administration.

~

 Janne Robinson (@EudaimoniaJanne) June 10, 2014:

“We don’t want a pretty girl. We want a writer. Go home. ” @GloriaSteinem #yesallwomen

~

From men on #yesallwoman: 

Chris Speed (@TheDeadlyAngel) June 1st, 2014:

#YesAllWomen Rape should be legalized so when the rape happens it won’t be seen as a bad thing, it will save so many lives.

~

Chris Speed (@TheDeadlyAngel) June 1st, 2014:

#yesallwomen if you wear a short dress then you deserve to get raped, just my opinion

~

SLUT WHISPERER (@KirillWasHere) June 3, 2014:

#yesallwomen play hard to get and then cry sexual harassment when we play along

~

Josh Groban (@Joshgroban) June 3, 2014:

Because we all know someone who has been made to feel like it wasn’t assault when it was #yesallwomen

~

Danforth France (@danforthfrance) June 3, 2014:

Post a #yesallwomen post about my mom, get @-reply “jokes” from dudes. You’re making the ladies’ point, you dickbaskets.

~

Albert W Dubreuil (@awdubreuil) May 24, 2014:

Started reading the #yesallwomen tweets b/c I’ve got a daugter[sic], but now I see I should be reading them b/c I’ve got two sons.

~

rape. img

~

Activism is my way of holding the world accountable for its wrong and hate. As an activist I hear the millions of voices who have spoken out through #yesallwomen and feel a burning fire inside my bones.

Do I think there is value in #yesallwomen? Yes.

Is it all feminist “male shaming?” No.

“The first resistance to social change is to say it’s not necessary.” ~ Gloria Steinem

This week SC Johnson Companies billionaire heir, Samuel Curtis Johnson III, confessed to repeatedly sexually assaulting his teenage stepdaughter and has received a prison sentence of a measly four months and a whooping fine of $6,000, because the judge ruled that he is a “productive” member of society.

Does Elliot Rodger ring any déjà vu bells, maybe the Montreal Massacre? Where in 1989, 25-year-old Marc Lépine separated men and women in a classroom of École Polytechnique and opened fire, shooting all nine women and killing six. He then proceeded to walk the halls targeting women in what he claimed to be a “fight against feminism.”

The attitude of the police in many countries often discourages victims from reporting rape: one study in Turkey found that 33 percent of police officers agreed with the assertion that “some women deserve rape” and 66 percent agreed that “the physical appearance and behaviors of women tempt men to rape.”

74 percent of women in Mali said that a husband is justified in beating his wife if she refuses to have sex with him.

Did you read in the newspaper article about the two girls who were raped, killed and hung from a tree in India last month?

Every 22 minutes in India a woman is raped. 98 percent of the rapes are committed by men. Many happen when young women and children go to the fields behind their house to pee, as there are no toilets in their homes.

“By the time the average woman reaches 60 years old she will have made $450,000 less than a man in the same exact position.” ~ Laci Green

At the end of the day, our world may have progressed, but by no means is the women’s fight for equality and basic human rights over.

I want women to have worth.

I want to exist in a world full of empowered human beings—that includes both genders. I want to exist in a world where when women speak up about rape and assault, men don’t reply defensively with, “Not all men are.”

For we know that you are not all rapists, that all of you do not grab crotches in broad daylight, make sexist jokes and pop rufies in girls’ drinks. I know that when the majority of you hear the word “No,” you understand what it means, and back off.

I also am by no means saying women are the only victims of rape and sexual assault. Many women are predators and attackers in our world, and many men fall victim to rape by the hand of other men as well.

A 1997 report by the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics showed that 99 percent of rapists are male. However, when prison rapes are included in the statistics it has been reported that, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, “more men are raped in the U.S. than women… In 2008, it was estimated 216,000 inmates were sexually assaulted while serving time…compared to 90,479 rape cases outside of prison.”

So, this next part is important.

Although most women stubbornly want to claim independence and solve sexism, and misogyny on their own—it is not just women who hold the keys to a solution.

In order to create a space for women to exist safely, and equally—we will need men.

Saying that we “need men” in this fight does not take away my power as a female for I know that the only way to instigate a change is for us collectively to work together, that means both genders. We need to humanize our roles, throw away stereotypes, stop painting our babies cribs blue and pink.

So men, instead of wasting energy asking, “What about all the good I do?” and personalizing feminism as an attack against all men, acknowledge that in order to radically shift our world, we need you to stand with us.

We need men to stand right beside us in this world, we all need to ride on the equality bus together.

Stand up. And for those of you already standing—I see you. Thank you.

We need you. We need you to call the other men out when we can’t see you—at “guys night” where testosterone is running wild.

We need you to hold each other accountable for degrading behavior. We need allies who not only stand with us when we can see them, but more importantly in the moments we cannot.

We need allies who will help build a world where women don’t need to be afraid of abuse and rape.

We need men like singer Aaron Lewis, who stopped singing halfway through a song at Rockfest when he saw a group of men groping a 15-year-old-girl who was crowd surfing.

And women—we need to let them help us.

At a topless protest march that took place in Vancouver in August, 2013, where women “bore their breasts in the name of gender equality” to support Gwen Jacob (who was arrested and charged for “indecency” for walking topless under the Canadian Criminal Code in 1991), men were requested not to march topless. A close friend of mine told me over dinner that he wanted to go march to support the cause, but was faced with resistance from women to do so.

“The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving.” ~ Gloria Steinem

And to those of you refusing to move with us, before you shrug off #yesallwomen as a bunch of hairy armpit man eating dykes and over reacting feminists, I’d like to ask you if you have a daughter. Or if you plan on having a child someday? Is there a chance she will be born a female?

One in four females is sexually assaulted in North America.

One in four.

Give a damn for her.

If you have a son, remind him constantly of how important the divine feminine is in our lives. Whisper to him each night to walk with tenderness, sweetness and ferocious might for the ones who exist beside him, regardless of gender. Implement strongly the worth, value and importance of females into his belief systems.

“We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons…but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” ~ Gloria Steinem

And women of the world, I ask one more thing of you: speak. Speak as if your lungs require you to do so, each moment of your life. That is a vital first step in a solution. If you are sexually abused, assaulted, date raped, a victim in non consensual sex or rape—speak. Ninety-four percent of sexual assault in Canada is not reported. If you don’t report it, there will be another woman down the line in your shoes. It is our accountability to look out for each other—however uncomfortable, confrontational and challenging the process may be.

It starts now. It starts with you.

It starts with being accountable for one another—hearing these voices and cries drowning social media and reacting with compassion.

To any women who added their voices to the #yesallwomen movement—I give a damn about you. Thank you.

I will continue to use my literary teeth to tear more space in this world for you to speak freely and openly about your experiences. I am listening, and I want to hear more.

Your voices pave the way to a world I want to live in, a world I want my children to live in.

 

CEO.

sensitivty, yes all women. 1

here's to the day. #yesallwomen 1

no is a sentence.

sexual object.

you don't own me. #yesallwomen 1

yes all women. 1

 

Relephant read: 

Not All Men are Bad (& 9 Other Lessons for Women) 

~

Bonus—these women will inspire you to make a difference:


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Editor: Emily Bartran

Photos: Author’s Own; Imgur


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About Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a poet, writer, bushwalker, idealist and animal activist currently residing in Vancouver Island. She cuts kindling with her teeth, eats Bukowski for breakfast and makes the habit of saying the word feminist as much as possible. She surfs naked, pees in the woods, and loves whiskeys that swing their hips when they walk and know what they are doing. Janne's life-work is to be transparent. She makes a living off hanging her dirty and clean laundry out for the world to see. Her mission is to give others permission to also walk and exist with the same transparency. You can connect with her on TwitterInstagram and Facebook. Please also visit and connect with her Facebook writer's page. Check out Janne's website.

Comments

199 Responses to “Why I Give a Damn About #yesallwomen. {Adult Content}”

  1. MaleZ says:

    I find it strange that a lot of people are equating this single violent senseless incident to “a war on women.” Though this insane persons reasons spawned from women’s issues this was one incident that was incited by one person who any rational person is not going to support. Sexual violence is ridiculous and rape is awful but like you said yourself, it will take women and men to equalize all peoples rights. My point being that this the #yesallwomen movement needs a new name. #yeshumanequality would be more fitting and would attract less “defensive” replies from men who feel it is another slam on men and more support for the core issues. I myself feel offended when I read any statement that makes it seem like a majority of men are to blame for women inequality, and that pushes away the good ones “defensive” replies. Why not just it give power to people who do shitty things? If your “friend” jokingly grabs your breast stand up for yourself instead of expecting someone else to and don’t be friends with that person. I am a happily married man who loves, respects, and is kind to my wife and all other human beings who prove to further human love. Don’t give women or men who objectify women or men power and keep close the people who love everyone equally. The feminism movement has barely ” just begun” and the time to fight for all peoples rights equally, regardless of race, sex, class or nationality is now. The big issue is at the core of society where we need to focus on the people who love everyone equally and give ZERO attention and power to those who degrade, destroy, and deteriorate the universal spirit of love that should bind all animals, human, and otherwise.

  2. OMG you just did exactly the thing that #yesAllWomen is named after! The typical man says, "not all men do these things! we aren't ALL bad"… It doesn't matter because, "yes, all women" have felt threatened in our daily lives. we all feel it, none get left out.

  3. dgal26 says:

    I'm sharing a link that is the most powerful truth on this subject I have ever come across.
    https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/th

    This is what men and women need to know in order for us to create this peace in society.

  4. coffeegirl22 says:

    Very nice article, but it saddens me and most likely thousands of other feminists that you quoted "feminist 'male shaming'" when clearly feminism does not at all shame males, it requests equality for all genders. This article reads feminism all over it. In fact, it requests equality for women along the lines that they are drawn out for men which follows the definition of feminism on point. Great article, but a poor choice of words in that sentence.

  5. Drew says:

    More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male. http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/me

  6. mary says:

    There are male superstars who do the exact same thing, your argument is invalid.

  7. mary says:

    I'm pretty sure there are men in porn movies as well.

  8. sarajeand says:

    Seriously love this, except the disclaimer "I am not a feminist but…" Women need to feel like it is ok to be empowered and that feminism isn't a derogatory term. All of your sentiments express feminism. Girl, own it

  9. sarajeand says:

    yes, but his issues highlight the societal problem…it is an exaggeration of overt and disguised misogyny, as well as sparking the yesallwomen debate.

  10. sarajeand says:

    woo hoo Janne, you rock!

  11. sarajeand says:

    feminism does not imply gender–many men are feminists. Feminsim and masculinity are principles (character traits, etc) that can be applied to either gender–you are viewing this as a dualistic issues placing genders on opposing sides—but it is really non dualistic, and people that understand feminism understand this principle.

  12. sarajeand says:

    You are missing the point, despite your facts. E.R. killed 6 people, more men than women, only because he failed to implement his plan of killing lots more women. You are using this "fact" to completely undermine and dismiss the legitimate voices of many women around the world. In America, women are now equally educated, hopefully soon to be equally paid, and rape/ domestic violence towards women is decreasing. But many women still feel the stigma of second class citizens–we still have not had a female us president, and few women in congress. We are fighting to be respected, heard, appreciated, which is why SO MANY WOMEN have responded to #YESALLWOMEN. We all know polls aren't accurate and rape is the most under reported crime, by men and women.

  13. P. L. says:

    You have a lot of great points here, but I have to agree that the “I don’t consider myself a feminist” sentiment has got to stop. You ARE a feminist. Every person who starts a discussion like this by saying he or she isn’t a feminist needs to do a little research. Feminism is a good thing. Stop criminalizing the word.

  14. Jeff says:

    Wah wah wah….having a vagina is soooo hard.

    You know what's easy? Making me a sandwich. Hop to it!

  15. Terice says:

    As a woman I find it offensive that’s so many women are telling each other that it is a man’s job to control himself and not our job to control our situation. Although men should control themselves there’s only one person who we as humans have control of. That is ourselves.we need to be prepared for bad situations we need to be able to defend ourselves. Using mens bad behavior as an excuse to not do anything to help yourself is lazy. The only person you can control in this world is yourself. It would be lovely if everybody learn to be non violent good people but there will always be bad people in the world both men and women. The only thing we can do as humans is prepare ourselves. Yes we should teach men to be respectful but we should also learn to defend ourselves and not put ourselves in bad situations. Do not take me wrong I never think it is a woman’s fault but how many situations could be avoided by proper planning.

  16. Austyn says:

    Engineer, Biostatician, and future physician and you're still quoting bible scriptures? Okay fine, believe what you want to believe, but to say: oh, well men created everything so women don't deserve rights is wrong. The idea is we all should be treated equal regardless of how we were born, given the chance many people regardless of race or gender do invent things when given the chance. Also, for a while psychology was dominated by white males, but there are significant contributions from women, including the fact that cells reproduce in the brain, which for a long time was refuted by males. Actually the woman was flogged and not published because of this bias, it was only after investigation we found out she was actually right. That is just one example of gender bias, and I feel like you are part of the problem because you are male and males created everything you are are owed some privilege.

  17. Eric says:

    Lol…so the male superstars promoting their own sexuality are actually promoting men to be more sexual towards women? I fail to see the connection you're making…

  18. Eric says:

    Jay clearly isn't talking about the way HE treats women. Reword your statement Jack.

    Jay is describing how celebrities have a substantial impact on our culture. And too many of them are over sexualized. Whether the sexualization of our culture created them, they they created the sexualization of our culture, we don't know. Regardless, it perpetuates it. For too many people….whether you're 6 or 60, you see it and absorb it.

    Yes. I would like it to stop. But good luck trying to get hollywood to tone down the sex….

  19. Eric says:

    What about those of us with penises? Are we invited too?

  20. R.J. says:

    I think you bring up a lot of interesting issues, and they all fairly well formulated. However, I see things slightly differently. Let me know what you think!…I think every human promotes their own form of objectification (not necessarily sexual), whether they intend to or not. Obviously, most don't want to be the object of ridicule, or sexualization, neglect, or most things really. However, we makes choices about the way that we dress, and they way we carry ourselves, and the words we use, etc. And in this world we live in, people see us for the person that we present to them. And I don't think we can ignore that.

    Just like if a man walked down the street in his underwear, you might giggle, or you might think, he doesn't have much self-respect, because that's embarrassing. We internally make a judgement about his character by the way he presents himself as a human. We do this because there ARE social norms that carry weight. Such as seemingly trusting a man in a suit more than a man in a dirty tank top and saggy pants. In a much similar way, women who dress overly provocatively (whatever that means, I'm sure the scale is different person to person), can be seen by some to not value herself. Obviously none of these internal feelings give us a right to treat her/anyone differently, or impose our will on her/them at all. So don't make this into a…He's trying to justify rape….comment. I'm saying we REALLY DO treat people differently because we DO see them differently based on how the person chose to present themselves. And it's sucky. How do we change that about humans?

    I don't think the answer is, teach people to stop judging others so quickly. Whether or not we like it, it happens in all of our lives in some way or another. We are perceptive human beings; nobody is 100% judgement free. Otherwise you would take the time to get to know the "creepy" old guy at the playground that doesn't have a kid, but sits there watching the children anyway. Because in most people's minds, he must be a child molester since he's a guy and watching children….but hey, better safe than sorry?

    Just to be clear, again, I'm in no way justifying rape, or sexual advances, etc…because for some reason that's what everyone jumps to in these comments….I'm just explaining why it's not quite as simple as…."we should be able to be as sexual as we want" without being looked at differently. In some way, we're all responsible (or not, I suppose that's up to you) to carry ourselves the way we want to be treated, for our own sake. Mostly because we all have these weird standards that we hold each other to, and place different expectations on people based on those unspoken standards.

    So is the focus on improving our standards as humans? (hopefully without becoming increasingly judgmental to our personal freedoms). Adjusting our standards by re-wiring the way people think/act? (Is this practical on a large scale? Especially since so much of our lives are shaped so young by the world we already live in?)

    I'm just curious about how we actually plan on changing people other than ourselves, so feel free to comment! 🙂

  21. Terra says:

    Pretty sure most people would NOT agree that there's "no reason to differentiate" between being paid to build a shed and giving a blow-job to a stranger. Physical labour and sexual labour are NOT similar (emotional component) and your comment reflects a lack of critical thinking. We aren't just physical 'things', we are emotional too (some more stunted than others). These issues require you to use not just your head but your heart. Perhaps you should put the shoe on the other foot and imagine a bigger, intimidating man paying you to _____.

  22. jenniferswhite says:

    This article was really well written. So thorough. So thoughtful. So experiential and also educational. Love the personal photos. Just…all around well done piece. Congrats on its success!

  23. Ray says:

    I'm tired of women abandoning common sense and then blaming men for the problems that arise from it. If you choose to get so drunk that you can't remember anything, YOU'RE TO BLAME for the bad decision(s) you made. You have no idea if you said "yes" to losing your virginity to a man because you were too drunk to remember. That's YOUR fault. If you're "crowd-surfing" in a sea of strangers, there's a pretty good chance you're going to get groped – just as there's a pretty good chance that a man would get groped while crowd-surfing. It comes with the territory. Stop whining about the poor outcomes of situations you put yourself in.

    More food for thought: if you were so drunk that you couldn't remember what happened the night before, you ought to be happy that you didn't get into your car and end up killing somebody. Stop shirking responsibility and blaming others for your bad decisions.

  24. Joe says:

    This article is about (at least partially) women NOT wanting to be viewed as sex objects. Yet you used an attractive, nude woman for marketing purposes to get viewers to read this (which, I'll admit, is why I looked at it). Kind of conflicting messages there, don't you think?

  25. Patrick L. Bertlein says:

    Why jump to such a drastic response, as this person approves of rape? What he is talking about is ACCOUNTABILITY, and that is from all people. Do you really not understand that women have a role in this as well? That women use this for power, that many LIKE the way things are?

    We have to look at the big picture, instead of just placing blame and pointing fingers. The gender issues are complicated and need to be fully discussed, if you think only men are to blame than you are as ignorant as anyone else, which you apparently are as you posted such a discriminating thing as assuming because a MAN disagrees with you, than he must be a rapist. Is that what you want? For all men to either submit to you, or be seen as a horrible monster?

    It is time for more women to talk about these things, and more, especially the amount of abuse by women that almost no one talks about, even though it is almost 50/50.

    And no, I have a daughter, and a trans step-daughter, and a partner, I am not okay with rape. i am also not okay with anyone being so accusatory. Grow up Wendy and think about someone other than yourself.

    "WE are the Patriarchy" Brene Brown, referring to women.

  26. Patrick L. Bertlein says:

    So when my ex (who is still a close friend of mine) is kissing me and we both have our pants off and she tells me to put on a condom, I "raped" her because of those blurry lines?

    Bullshit, this is why their will NEVER be equality, because few women will grow up and stop being so dismissing and accusatory of everything a man says and does.

    Sex is a confusing thing, and people like you will only be happy when men grovel at your knees and sign a damn contract before having sex.

    I will teach my daughter to TALK to the men in her life, and understand that they are confused and full of hormones. She will be careful and thoughtful, now that is crazy talk!

  27. bob says:

    If 94% of sexual assaults in Canada isn't reported then how did they find out about there being a 94% of being sexually assaulted not being reported?

  28. 8 out of every 5 women on college campuses in the US will be raped. Fact.

  29. Gloria says:

    Every person commenting on this website should subscribe to The Factual Feminist on YouTube. It appropriately addresses the pertinent issues, sans hysteria.

  30. Tullips says:

    Great Article! This is all about respect for another person which is normally taught as young kids and adults. The role models need to be the males that the kids are learning from. It has nothing to do with what a person wears, but the thoughts that enter a mans mind when looking at a woman. Sure a mans brain is wired differently and thinks of sex more. Does he really need to undress a woman every time he looks at her??!! Sex is not a one way street! Sexual harassment is outright wrong!!

    The values and morals of respect for women that are not instilled in young minds, is why this turmoil keeps happening over and over. Us women can talk all we want, it means nothing to our future if men are not controlling their minds and bodies themselves. Men are the example, try and be a good one!

  31. MadeofStone says:

    "My body was created to birth you" is one of the most offensive things I have ever seen. My body is NOT created for birth. That is just one thing that it is capable of. It is a capability that I have chosen not to use–ever. My body is created to house a soul. It belongs to me. Its purpose is NOT to give life to someone else.

  32. cupcake says:

    Misandry is the hatred of males as a sex, as opposed to misogyny, the hatred of women; or misanthropy, hatred of the human species.

    Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

    Just so everyone is clear on what they are preaching.

    I for one would rather define this article as being humanistic.

    Humanist beliefs stress the potential value and goodness of human beings, emphasize common human needs, and seek solely rational ways of solving human problems.

    And by defensively arguing woman are to blame for rape not men you’re being counterproductive. This is the reason woman don’t completely have equal right. I mean if you were male and your male boss started hitting on you in the work place would you not feel weak and disgusted? You would want to just scream get off me, but then guess what you might lose your job. Think about things from woman’s shoes.

    Also this article is just one woman expressing her views and opinions on the matter of helping to prevent rape. If her opinions differ from yours well good. That is what makes us all human being. We all have the capability of making our own opinions on the matter. Don’t take her opinion personally or defensively because we are all entitled to think freely. All of our thoughts and feeling matter and that is what helps an issue to get solved. The different outlooks and ideas about one problem.

  33. Equality says:

    If it were a man standing there with all of the comments you would not have found it sexually arousing. Instead you would have saw a man holding comments across his chest. But because is it a woman holding comments across her chest it is sexually appealing. This is the exact point the article is trying to make. Why do you find it sexually attractive that a woman is in the photos yet if it were a man could you say the same? If it were a man you would just be like “oh okay a guy holding comments up” but because it is a woman it’s sexual. I think the point of this article is that the woman in the photos be considered just a woman holding up comments and not to be considered a woman sexually enticing men with her body. If a man were in the photo you would have a different outlook on the picture.

  34. Iriminage says:

    I'm a guy, of a certain age, been around, met a lot of people.
    I didn't like this article, but it took me a long time to crystallize why.
    I KNOW, I understand, that some guys are beasts, especially in Internet anonymous forums.
    Having said that, I've NEVER met a guy who would say that "rape is deserved". And I've never
    known a woman who had been raped.

    So we can either be righteous and judgemental "Oh, those guys are so messed up"
    (and of course "we" are not) – or we can be compassionate – "Those guys must have a lot of fear inside."
    And of course true compassion says "We are all in this together – there is not a separate you and me on some level"

    I studied Aikido for years, and one of the fundamental principles is no fear, no preparation, no plan.
    Sometimes your fear of something will bring that event into your life. It's the hardest thing to give
    up your plans, your analysis, your subject object views.

    The problem is not "them" – the problem is "us"

    Back in college, there was a large skinny-dipping area close. That was really the only place
    I've ever been where body evaluation and lust fell away. We're all the same, just human
    body parts.

  35. cal says:

    "Sensitivity is the key here. If you want to win a fight, you can't alienate the people who would be your allies. That's a pretty basic principle."

    @twelvth – You are my hero!

    on a side note

    The term feminism if feel is non constructive. http://thesaurus.com/browse/feminism, the synonyms for feminism are separating not unifing. If we asked a kid who's never head that word before and ask them what they think its means I think you'll understand how that word isn't representing both sexes equally. The younger generations will be the ones pushing this further, why not start by teaching them what feminism means with a less confusing title.

    That word is far to associated with women and is therefore unbalanced.
    I feel that if you want balance you have to come from both places not one and as long as that word is utilised there will be no balance but confusion.

    When I typed that word in the thesaurus I saw 11 related words, only one represented men and women equally.
    If we want people to come together we have to bring them together peacefully, the second we bring in separation we'll find conflict.

    I as a man am sorry for any suffering any woman may have been caused due to men, but before being a man or a woman we are human being. Its peoples attitudes towards being different that need to change, whether is its based on being a man or woman, based on race or on religion or being straight or gay. its people who need to change not just a sex.

  36. Mike says:

    I'm guessing it has to do with her not being one for Feminism, but rather HUMANISM. Perhaps lending some credit to the thought that women are not greater than men any more than men are not greater than women. Maybe the author, as symbolized by the face paint, believes in EQUAL rights. I tend to think we could all use a bit less feminism and a whole lot more humanism.

  37. @msteechur says:

    Women have the right to own their own sexuality. If they want to sell their own product with their sexuality it is none of your fucking business and should have zero impact on whether YOU have a right to ignore it when a woman says no to you. No means no

  38. Josh says:

    So your saying its ok women musicians to dress half naked and dress and act like sluts to get more attention and to sell their records? I saw in a more recent post where a woman said something like “its not a woman’s fault she attracts a mans attention when she wears clothing that shows ally of skin”. That’s a dumb post she made. Put a woman in a long sleeve turtle neck sweater with a big bell bottom dress on under it and see how many guys think sexually thoughts about her. Then the next day later put her in a skirt that stops and inch below her butt line and a tight sleeveless shirt with no bra on under it and see how many sexually thoughts she gets then! A lot of the comments women are making on here is irrelavent. Every time I go to the beach and I can hear a group of women/girls that don’t have guys with them, all they talk about is how hot guys are around them and what they wanna do with them. But THEN it IS in fact the guy setting himself up by not wearing a shirt, right?

  39. Julia says:

    "Natalie (@NatalieLeGreve) June 5, 2014:

    “The reason a fetus has more rights than a woman in America is because a fetus still has the chance of being a man” #YesAllWomen"

    I'm sorry, but since when do fetuses have more rights than women? Fetuses have close to no rights because of Roe v. Wade.

  40. Humanity is hard says:

    This article is elegantly written and speaks a truth to the heart of the matter that many cannot express. Block out all the haters. This is bigger than them and their misconceptions. Thank you do much for this.

  41. Stephen says:

    Sir, Please look up the meaning of "narcissism" and once you have become familiar with the meaning of the word, reread your reply- reaction. Its wonderful to have a high IQ, however, to fully appreciate life and respect ALL people, one must possess "emotional intelligence". The fact remains that if all men possessed this "emotional intelligence", Janne would have no fight to fight. Society would be a far more peaceful and respectful environment for all to thrive, grow and enjoy.
    Sincerely, tradesman

  42. Fred says:

    I am a man. A lot of us don’t respect women! 99.9% of men look to a woman’s body, before their mind. I wish this wasn’t the truth. Most men will take a shot at rubbing up against a beautiful woman, for self gratification! I have a beautiful friend and we will never be intimate, but I don”t know what I would do without her! I love women, but that doesn’t mean I need to treat all the others like shit!

  43. Megan says:

    Thank you for responding to this article from such an understanding place. We #YesAllWomen appreciate the male counterparts that can relate and stay strong with us.

    namaste

  44. hguhf says:

    Modern feminism seems to delight in making all women victims.

  45. al3ab99 says:

    awesome articles and very true talk

  46. Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU JANNE!

  47. Brandon says:

    Listen, I’m all for wearing what you want and being true to yourself. But honestly. We live in a world where sex is used to convince us that things are good. That perfume is good. That watch is good. That burger you want is super good. This happens because we use the female (preferred form) as a way to sell.

    So.. we have both men and woman sexually stimulated at all aspects of the day. Internet browser advertisements.. billboards, radio, television. Etc…

    So. Blaming men is not the solution .. we are merely assaulting the symptoms and ignoring the problem.

    We are the problem. Each of us accepts this sexual stimulation day in and day out.

    You can blame men, you can blame woman, but in the end, Society has to realize the exact cause.

    The Islamic tradition protects its woman from such sexual exploitation. We as western Christians, we accept it with open arms.

    Every girl wants to show off her breasts. That’s why we wear sexy cloths. To feel good.

    Why do we feel this way? Because that’s what we learn as we are young and exposed to all this sexual stimuli.

    So stop complaining about men.. and start taking a stand.

    No more bikini models.

    No more sexy watch ads.

    No more miss universe competitions.

    All these sexual stimuli are exasserbating an already present sexual need within the human brain.

    Honestly. I’ve had my crotch grabbed numerous times by a woman. But who do I complain to? Hrmm. Who stands up for a man when he is abused by his wife.. then hits her back.. and is called an abuser. Woman have more power then they admit..or want to admit.

    Scoff all you want but check the studies. If we except money to look sexy for whatever reason.. promo model at car show. Girl at restaurant. Actor on movie.. Then we are to blame for encouraging a sex culture.

    Not one gender. But all of us.

    Get over yourselves and identify the true problem.

    Thank you and have a great life.

    B.

  48. If You Are give a damn about yes all women adult content you are the best

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