â€śWe cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.â€ťÂ ~Â Herman Melville
For most of us, real, genuineÂ connection is the hardest thing of all…especially in this crazy, fast-paced, though often amazing, modern world we live in. Weâ€™re always plugged in, but rarely connected.
Â Â Â What is it in us that craves, yearns, twists and turns and is sometimes desperate for togetherness?
Â Â Â I think, these days, we connect in a rather toxic way:
We look for people and relationships to fill us up, as something to hide behind. We constantly distract ourselves with â€śsocialâ€ť media, pretending that this is a real way to connect with others. We look for attention in wrong or unhealthy ways because we are empty, lost, afraid and have forgotten how to share our feelings in a real way.
Â Â Â We forget that connection could greatly enhance our lives, but it can never define us.
It canâ€™t make us whole. When we look for togetherness to cover up a wound or fill a hole, we arenâ€™t truly connecting. Weâ€™re projecting, or hoping or wishing. We arenâ€™t in the moment. And, in doing this, we lose the opportunity to share a genuine emotion, a genuine moment with someone. But, it doesnâ€™t have to be a lost art. We can re-ignite that old flame right now.Â
Â Â Â Something about real connection has this rare, reflective quality.
I reflect back to you something you didnâ€™t know about you, and you reflect back to me something I didnâ€™t know about me. I feel like that is the best tool we humans have: the best way to learn and grow is to learn and grow together.
But then thereâ€™s this third energy too. This thing that is created when I hear you and you hear me. ThisÂ wonderfulÂ unionÂ that allows me to step back from myself and allows you to step back from yourself. Then we can step forward in a new way together. And, just that different movement alone changes everything.
A beautiful connected fellowship that can come from the meeting of seemingly very separate minds, bodies and souls. This invisible merging, support, and encouragement is what creates the possibility for us to fly higher together thanÂ we ever could on our own.
Â Â Â We need each other, let us not forget this.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Apprentice Editor: Alicia WozniakÂ /Â Editor:Â RenĂ©e Picard
Photo: dan paluska/flickr