July 20, 2014

Will you marry me?

kennedy family photo


I’m 40. Pressure to marry & have children is high. I would like to, but I am in no rush. This kind of thing is too precious to be rushed. And so it is the 9th inning. The count is 3 and 2. I’m relaxed, waiting for the right pitch.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Marriage is a silly institution. It’s also a beautiful one. It’s also a flawed one. I’ve always wanted to wait until my gay brothers and sisters were able to marry, too, should they be silly enough to wish to. I’ve also always wanted to wait until, you know, I fell in love and stayed there. I haven’t been ready to marry. I’ve enjoyed dating, and I’ve enjoyed not dating (you know, being alone is a wonderful human experience, and helpful to the focused path of an entrepreneur).

“The language of friendship is not words but meanings.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

But now I’m ready. Or as ready as I’ll ever be. I’m well off, for the first time. I have a good home, in a good town. I have a sweet dog, and I’d like for him to be able to spend some quality time with my children.

But I’m in no rush. Never have been. There’s no sense rushing into something that can’t be rushed. Where is she? I do not know: so there’s nowhere to rush to.

I don’t think she’s here in Boulder. Boulder is full of 22 year olds, who graduate and leave for San Francisco and Brooklyn and Denver (which is amazing, these days, people) and Austin.

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” ~ Albert Camus

The trick to marriage, I think, is not to look for love. What is love? (I love that skit). It’s not falling in love. Falling in love is fun, but it’s hormones, it’s surprisingly shallow, fickle, vulnerable to emotional swings. Love, I think, is more about friendship.

So for all those who, whatever your age, are looking for the real thing (and props to those of you who aren’t, yet), let’s look for a best friend—who we happen to be really, really attracted to.

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” ~ William Shakespeare 

Wait for your pitch:

I watched this game: Kirk could barely stand on his legs, let alone use them as a fundamental basis for a solid swing–his home run was all guts.

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