“You are worth all the love, care and affection in the world. We can spend so much time focused on others that we forget ourselves. Never abandon yourself to please another.” ~ Mastin Kipp
It’s been awhile since I posted.
I’ve been trying to find my balance, my power. In short—I’ve been juggling.
I’ve noticed the tendency to incessantly juggle among many women that I know.
We don’t wear the carnival outfit and smile the whole time we are doing it, but we juggle nonetheless.
Why do we insist on depleting ourselves by trying to meet everyone else’s needs but our own? What messages are we given growing up that we are responsible for other people’s feelings? Where do we learn that we are are responsible for other people’s lives and the choices they make? That somehow it reflects on us?
How do we learn to judge ourselves, compare ourselves and hold ourselves to society’s standards of what it means to fit our role as a woman, wife, mother, and employee?
How are we told that if, heaven forbid, we do something for ourselves, follow our dreams or engage in self care that we are “selfish?”
Example; I am not a traditional person (in case there was any doubt by the people who know me).
I examine, analyze, question, study, challenge and observe human consciousness and our evolution and what motivates us, drives us and inspires us. I have a wild woman with an artistic fire inside of me, a creativity that demands to be heard and expressed like a wild animal claiming it’s freedom. I f***ing love the experiences that life brings! I love to taste, live, breathe, and consume all that life has to offer.
Sometimes I allow this beautiful, powerful wild woman to come out; to create, express, expand and bloom.
Other times I hold her back and put her in a closet, telling her to “be quiet” as I go down to dinner with my in-laws and hold back who I am in a never-ending quest for approval and acceptance.
Or, for years, my wild woman has sat around the house; a depressed look on her face as I tell her that “there’s not enough money for traveling” or “It’s your job to make him happy, fix him, and live for him” or “You have to stay married so you don’t ruin your children, embarrass yourself, isolate your family, or make him mad.”
I gave away my power.
I still give it away sometimes until I am seething with anger, projecting it onto my husband by the choices I have made. Choices that are not his—as he has evolved with me and loves and accepts me to a point that
Or I give it away by meeting other’s needs until I am depleted; unable to make a decision, unwilling to see the beauty in my life or move forward in what I know is right for me.
And don’t we all do that in some way?
Don’t we all try to be who others want us to be in order to gain their acceptance, approval and love?
We end up trying to fit our individual, beautiful, expansive souls into a box of conformity, so small and restrictive that we cram ourselves into roles, rules and ideals that don’t feel right to us—then we criticize ourselves for not meeting other peoples’ standards for us.
Many spend countless hours and dollars on a quest for what is fashionable, beautiful and sexy. Clothes, makeup and creams to help our wrinkles “vanish.” To hide our souls and use our sexuality to get approval.
We disfigure ourselves physically and destroy ourselves emotionally in order to be what others want or expect. And when we can’t do it, when we can’t meet those impossible standards, we judge ourselves or condemn other women in an attempt to make ourselves feel more powerful.
We know what we do.
We know why we do it.
So what now?
1. Just Listen.
Open your ears to that wild woman inside of you. Allow her to step forward in her power and lead you, inspire you and drive you forward onto your path of authenticity.
Hear the whispers in your heart.
Don’t judge your longings, don’t stifle them or ignore them, allow the whispers to tell you of their dreams.
Focus on what it would feel like to have all of those dreams met, all of those expectations fulfilled.
What could you do if there were no self-imposed limitations?
What will you do?
2. Just Be.
Quit over thinking things.
Release control and allow the magnificent unfolding of yourself without fear.
Be present and let go of thoughts that tell you who to be.
Make time for yourself everyday.
Take one step in the direction of your desire.
3. Just See.
Look at yourself like your Creator would.
See the beauty in your soul and in your purpose.
Forgive your mistakes.
Imagine yourself in the life you want.
See it and feel it and release it to the Universe.
View yourself as those who love you view you.
You are a spectacular creation!
You are here to bloom.
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Editor: Emily Bartran