September 8, 2014

To Love A Girl Who Wanders.


To love a girl who wanders, you must know that her soul yearns for movement.

The beat of a drum, the whistle of a train and the summit of a mountain are all the same language to her, urging her to move.

Your voice and your touch, too, can speak the language of movement. That is the second thing you must know. If a girl who wanders loves you, her soul will sway to the cadence of your words.

A girl who wanders sees poetry in everything, from the magnificence of the stars to the dance of a blade of grass.

If you love her, you must realize that you are poetry as well. Write her haikus in kisses and limericks in tiny gestures.

She will understand what you mean.

If you love a girl who wanders, run beside her. Not ahead of her or behind her, for both of these will quickly try her patience, but beside her. Do not follow or lead her to the highest peak or the tastiest food truck in sight; rather, join your paths and walk with her. Match your stride to her, and she just might do the same.

This is a girl, a woman, a being who is accustomed to following her instincts and making her own way. She probably travels alone, makes friends easily on the road (bidding them farewell just as easily), and ignores the ‘Do Not Enter’ sign.

Compromise does not come naturally to her. Be patient. The constant give and take of a relationship will take time for her to learn, but when she does, you will find her more generous, more compassionate than you could have imagined. For a girl who wanders has made a study of empathy.

She is made of water. She knows fluidity and change.

If you love a girl like this, you must discover the secret of holding her in your eyelashes, for she will slip through your fingers.

Sometimes the water in her will spill over. You don’t have to ask why. Your presence is enough.

To love a girl who wanders, realize that wanderlust is a true affliction.

When her gaze is unfocused and her thoughts far away, know that she dreams not of other people, but of other worlds. Dream with her of caravans in the desert and of sea journeys centuries ago. Help her plan road trips, buy plane tickets, or even build a tent in the living room when there are no better options.

Her craving for adventure cannot be suppressed for too long, and if you love a girl who wanders, you will be on the seat beside her when it is time to go.

To show this girl your love, bring her wildflowers and found objects—she will appreciate the journey that went into their gathering. Dance with her whenever you can. Share her joy as she spins, gypsy skirts flying outward. Listen to her stories, for she will have many—both true and remembered—and save your own in a carved hollow in your mind for when she asks you to tell her one.

To love a girl who wanders, be prepared to say yes.

Yes to adventures. Yes to treasure hunts and hopeless quests. Yes to a lifetime of searching. Do this, and she will, quite possibly, say yes to you.

A girl who wanders may not have many roots. You must offer her the depths of your heart and soul in which to plant sturdier ones. To act as soil and sustenance for another person’s spirit is both a privilege and a responsibility— never take it lightly.

If you love a girl who wanders, only give her what she can carry—nothing bigger than your heart. Anything larger would be a waste. Accept her need to seek—strive to comprehend it, even—and comfort her when the leaves fall across her path and she feels lost.

Let her wander through the labyrinth of your mind, and marvel at the beauty she finds there. Hold her in your eyelashes, the lines of your hand and the ridges of your forehead, and wander with her.


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Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Author’s own & Flickr

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Melina Feb 18, 2016 10:55pm


Kirsten Dec 28, 2015 5:47am

I am a gypsy, a world wanderer. I don’t know where I belong. I don’t feel I come from anywhere in particular and I don’t know where I will end up. I have been ‘on the road’ since I was 3. 44 years later I’m still adrift. My closest friends call me a free spirit, a vagabond, a nomad. I’ve had many many offers to settle down and cosy up. But I know I’d be destructive in those situations. A caged animal, a time bomb. So I meander along, in hopeful belief that someday, somewhere, someone will choose to meander by my side, in partnership, neither following nor leading, but just in the flow together. Blessing x

Lindaizias Dec 27, 2015 6:24pm

Thank you. Having long been called gypsy, vagabond, picky bitch, and many other treasured names, it is just tremendous to not only read your beautifully written article and the subsequent comments from my traveling soul sisters. Far too often I’m made to feel as though there is more wrong with me than right for wanting to run and fly everywhere. It is nice for once to see that I am actually in the most awesome company!

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Toby Israel

Toby Israel is a vagabond and storyteller with a metaphorical closet full of hats. She currently works as a creative facilitator, editor, and writer, and as Chief Storyteller at NuMundo. She is also a full-time lover of movement, food, and words. For the moment, she lives in Costa Rica. (She came for a master’s degree in Media, Peace, and Conflict Studies from the UN-mandated University for Peace—and stayed for the papaya, sunshine, and conscious community.) Share her journey on her website, and on FacebookInstagram and Twitter!