To Love A Girl Who Wanders.

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To love a girl who wanders, you must know that her soul yearns for movement.

The beat of a drum, the whistle of a train and the summit of a mountain are all the same language to her, urging her to move.

Your voice and your touch, too, can speak the language of movement. That is the second thing you must know. If a girl who wanders loves you, her soul will sway to the cadence of your words.

A girl who wanders sees poetry in everything, from the magnificence of the stars to the dance of a blade of grass.

If you love her, you must realize that you are poetry as well. Write her haikus in kisses and limericks in tiny gestures.

She will understand what you mean.

If you love a girl who wanders, run beside her. Not ahead of her or behind her, for both of these will quickly try her patience, but beside her. Do not follow or lead her to the highest peak or the tastiest food truck in sight; rather, join your paths and walk with her. Match your stride to her, and she just might do the same.

This is a girl, a woman, a being who is accustomed to following her instincts and making her own way. She probably travels alone, makes friends easily on the road (bidding them farewell just as easily), and ignores the ‘Do Not Enter’ sign.

Compromise does not come naturally to her. Be patient. The constant give and take of a relationship will take time for her to learn, but when she does, you will find her more generous, more compassionate than you could have imagined. For a girl who wanders has made a study of empathy.

She is made of water. She knows fluidity and change.

If you love a girl like this, you must discover the secret of holding her in your eyelashes, for she will slip through your fingers.

Sometimes the water in her will spill over. You don’t have to ask why. Your presence is enough.

To love a girl who wanders, realize that wanderlust is a true affliction.

When her gaze is unfocused and her thoughts far away, know that she dreams not of other people, but of other worlds. Dream with her of caravans in the desert and of sea journeys centuries ago. Help her plan road trips, buy plane tickets, or even build a tent in the living room when there are no better options.

Her craving for adventure cannot be suppressed for too long, and if you love a girl who wanders, you will be on the seat beside her when it is time to go.

To show this girl your love, bring her wildflowers and found objects—she will appreciate the journey that went into their gathering. Dance with her whenever you can. Share her joy as she spins, gypsy skirts flying outward. Listen to her stories, for she will have many—both true and remembered—and save your own in a carved hollow in your mind for when she asks you to tell her one.

To love a girl who wanders, be prepared to say yes.

Yes to adventures. Yes to treasure hunts and hopeless quests. Yes to a lifetime of searching. Do this, and she will, quite possibly, say yes to you.

A girl who wanders may not have many roots. You must offer her the depths of your heart and soul in which to plant sturdier ones. To act as soil and sustenance for another person’s spirit is both a privilege and a responsibility— never take it lightly.

If you love a girl who wanders, only give her what she can carry—nothing bigger than your heart. Anything larger would be a waste. Accept her need to seek—strive to comprehend it, even—and comfort her when the leaves fall across her path and she feels lost.

Let her wander through the labyrinth of your mind, and marvel at the beauty she finds there. Hold her in your eyelashes, the lines of your hand and the ridges of your forehead, and wander with her.


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Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Author’s own & Flickr

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anonymous Feb 18, 2016 10:55pm


anonymous Dec 28, 2015 5:47am

I am a gypsy, a world wanderer. I don’t know where I belong. I don’t feel I come from anywhere in particular and I don’t know where I will end up. I have been ‘on the road’ since I was 3. 44 years later I’m still adrift. My closest friends call me a free spirit, a vagabond, a nomad. I’ve had many many offers to settle down and cosy up. But I know I’d be destructive in those situations. A caged animal, a time bomb. So I meander along, in hopeful belief that someday, somewhere, someone will choose to meander by my side, in partnership, neither following nor leading, but just in the flow together. Blessing x

anonymous Dec 27, 2015 6:24pm

Thank you. Having long been called gypsy, vagabond, picky bitch, and many other treasured names, it is just tremendous to not only read your beautifully written article and the subsequent comments from my traveling soul sisters. Far too often I’m made to feel as though there is more wrong with me than right for wanting to run and fly everywhere. It is nice for once to see that I am actually in the most awesome company!

anonymous Jul 15, 2015 12:13pm

This was beautifully written… and strikes so deeply you can't even imagine. The girl who wanders lives in me, but until recently I didn't acknowledge her or love her, I tried to keep her hidden and caged in, and the conflict that causes is terrible. I've thrown over the outside influences and with the help of a few very close people, have smashed that cage. I've drawn myself close and am working towards soothing and waking my soul from what became a slumber of despair. I am loving me, all of me. Thank you for this beautiful piece. I will share it with my poor confused husband, who is very supportive but clueless as to what he unleashed by telling me to do what I needed to do to find my joy again…

anonymous Apr 17, 2015 7:02pm

I am printing this for my fiancé…many, many thanks for writing this❤️

anonymous Apr 17, 2015 12:11pm

Thank you Toby! I have never read a story that sums me up so well and captures exactly how I feel………I am a girl who wanders xoxo

anonymous Apr 17, 2015 8:35am

Thank you so much for this tips. My wife is exactly that and now I can make her love more.

anonymous Apr 13, 2015 6:55am

I’m a girl who wanders, and I found a man who loves me. This post made me so grateful: for his wonderful soul; for being the person who matches his stride to mine and made his heart my home; for the beautiful way in which you perfectly portrayed everything I ever needed to recognise and realise in the only person who has ever captivated me, the only person I have ever loved too. Thank you, so much, I can’t stop reading it – over and over again. It’s perfection. x

anonymous Jan 14, 2015 1:06pm

Absolutely gorgeous. Thanks Toby.

    anonymous Jan 25, 2015 6:37am

    My pleasure. 😉 Thank you, Renee!

anonymous Jan 6, 2015 9:40am

Absolutely! I have tears of hope and gratitude running down my face…for the first time I hear the words that have echoed through my soul and life, but for which I, myself, have not been able to form into an understandable communication. I am a mama now so my roots have taken a “home” somewhere, but if I had the ability, these roots would release to allow us to wander together.

    anonymous Jan 25, 2015 6:36am

    I am honored, really, to have put words to something that resides in so many of us. I suspect there is as much beauty in taking root as there is in wandering—wishing you luck in this part of your journey!

anonymous Jan 5, 2015 10:54pm

I love that there is so much positive attention coming to use free-spirit wandering romantics out there! I love this piece 🙂 It reminds me a lot of this one on loving a free spirit ( , but is more poetic and soft. Great writing 🙂

    anonymous Jan 25, 2015 6:34am

    I'm going to check it out. 🙂 Thanks, Robin!

anonymous Jan 5, 2015 7:00pm

Beautiful! Well put! LOVE IT!!!

anonymous Jan 5, 2015 1:35pm

<3 Love this! Such an awesome piece!!

anonymous Jan 5, 2015 12:38pm

So very beautifully written. Thank you so much!

anonymous Jan 5, 2015 12:15pm

This is probably my favorite article on this site. It truly resonates with me on a profound level.

    anonymous Jan 25, 2015 6:33am

    Thank you! I'm so happy to know it has resonated so strongly. 🙂

anonymous Dec 13, 2014 12:23pm

Wow. You just wrote my husband the instruction manual to my spirit. I think he'll love you for that. 🙂

anonymous Nov 7, 2014 12:26pm

I just can't tell you how much love I'm feeling for this piece. SO. MUCH. <3

    anonymous Nov 8, 2014 1:49pm

    Thanks, Deborah! It feels love for you too! 😀

anonymous Sep 15, 2014 8:58am

Love this! Thanks for putting "me" into words!!!

    anonymous Sep 15, 2014 2:27pm

    Thank you, Annie! It was a pleasure to put you and me into words 🙂

anonymous Sep 11, 2014 1:34am

Absolutely exquisite words… thank you! xx

    anonymous Sep 15, 2014 2:26pm

    I'm so happy they resonated with you– thank you for enjoying!

anonymous Sep 9, 2014 7:10pm

Beautiful. xoxo

Lara van Bebber Nov 12, 2018 9:16am

so grateful and fascinated at the same time to be so deeply touched be the words that give my soul a moment of rest through pure understanding.

Rose A. Linda Apr 10, 2018 7:28am

Thank you for this. I am in tears!!!

Vanessa Sandberg Apr 5, 2018 11:42pm

Oh my! How am I just reading this now?!? I am this girl. Ramble on. You speak to my soul. Thank you for writing this!

Tiffany Parker Nov 16, 2017 2:59pm

Your words were the echos of my soul. Thank You.

Jo Warwick May 2, 2016 5:17pm

Gorgeous - wise and me ...

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Toby Israel

Toby Israel Toby Israel is a vagabond and storyteller with a metaphorical closet full of hats. She currently works as a creative facilitator, editor, and writer, and as Chief Storyteller at NuMundo. She is also a full-time lover of movement, food, and words. For the moment, she lives in Costa Rica. (She came for a masters degree in Media, Peace and Conflict Studies from the UN-mandated University for Peace—and stayed for the papaya, sunshine, and conscious community.) Share her journey on her website, and on FacebookInstagram and Twitter!