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October 8, 2014

10 Signs we Picked the Right Human to Love (Maybe).

There comes a time after the “honeymoon” phase and before the “my partner is really the bee’s knees!” phase…

…where you’re smack in the middle of an argument with someone you love about something that truly doesn’t matter.

We stand there, blood boiling and hit with the question: is all of this really worth it?

Here are 10 affirmations that you are indeed with an epic human—and it is worth it.

1. Long romantic walks on the beach often (always) result in fistfuls of found garbage collected to be properly re-discarded. Yes, each little piece of human evidence we see on the street/beach/park attracts us like magnets. The best part is trashy walks are still very romantic!

2. TED talks and other mindful media. Visions of birds with plastic in their stomachs, unfortunate food industry truths and positive quotes are sent to your inbox. They make you believe that fixing this world is possible. These are great shares and even better table time discussions.

3. You’re enjoying the harvest from last summer’s organic garden. Dinner—as well as almost everything your partner consumes—is mindful.

4. Movie nights often include fantastic documentaries on that ancient laptop you got refurbished years ago, plus sharing tea and maybe a toke.

5. Your purchasing patterns are conscious of the amount of trash created. You’d actually prefer not to buy it than to have to take all that plastic home. Easy tips that have changed my life can be found in Amy Korst’s wonderful book The Zero-Waste Lifestyle; Live Well By Throwing Away Less. You and your partner don’t seem to forget your cloth grocery bags because you’ve practiced remembering them for some time now.

6. You find it easy to support and “like” the things they share online.

Personal story: In online dating, I like to be friends on social networking sites. Last spring, I met a seemingly super cool guy—he liked yoga, ate real food, was into radical self-expression, our talks were inspirational and he was someone I felt oddly and happily drawn to. He lived far away so we kept emailing and became friends online, hoping to meet some day.

On day two of our online friendship his status said, “My penis is the size of an acorn… No seriously!” Day 3 he posted a gory photo and the caption, “Imagine the song you would play during a rampage.” The next week proved this behavior was normal and acceptable to him. When we spoke about it, his response was “You think that’s who I am? That’s not me!”

The online side of your partner is a part of him/her.

Their posts are their interests and their opinions—and it’s their way of interacting with the world. Whether it is to get random attention (like the guy above), to spread awareness, to market him or herself, or to get points in Candy Corn Saga or a Farm with Zombies, just know what you are getting yourself into.

7. Your partner sees the positive opportunities in all situations. They want to learn and they enjoy growth and change. In fact, Burning Man is on the to-do-list for just those reasons: to learn, to enjoy, to grow and to change.

8. In times of stress they amaze you with their ability to keep composure. Although sometimes their need to breathe deeply is annoying as sh*t, we are glad they take deep, calming breaths. We are grateful for every breath they take. He/she enjoys introspection and works on themselves, making the relationship stronger which results in a more profound experience.

You take turns being the first one to apologize and practice lowering the ego in arguments sooner than later.

9. Because their compassion flows deep, they feel great sorrow when things aren’t right. Social injustice or a spirit being treated badly can bring them to tears. They see life in all things.

10. They stand up for the underdog. They stand up for themselves. They stand for justice. Their integrity and honesty wow others. The two of you practice loving each other in a way that allows you both to feel free because that is the only sustainable way.

And we remember again that as partners, we are nothing more than roommates of this earth that have mutually decided to spend some time together. We’ve decided to share some human experiences. There is something beautiful inside our partner that inspires us to be better humans every day.

The moments outside of our comfort zones are where we grow.

It’s totally worth it.

~

Relephant:

Don’t Miss Your Soul Mate Flags.

Soul Mates: Do You Believe? 

 

~

Love start with ourselves:

~

Apprentice Editor: Jamie Khoo/Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Alessandro Valli/Flickr

 

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Ann Maria Jan 22, 2016 5:44pm

Uh….BS! Biased opinion and misleading title!

Caroline Aug 26, 2015 9:55pm

Greetings,

I do agree that this is clearly a personal preference piece and not piece that many people would be able to relate to, or should . I my sled however can say,” check, check” on most all the ways the author says we are with the ” right” person. However, I’m with the right person because I am me. I do feel it is presenters with a type of arrogance that is subtle and hard to track within our own psyches, especially when we believe so full heartedly in our good deeds. It still, in my opinion creates polarity and division rather than an inspiring article that might have pointed out some poignant universal truths we can see as sign posts we are with a pretty radically awesome person, for ourselves. I was also curious why the author only addressed the comments that were positive in the feedback? As writers, especially when writing, or claiming to be able to offer some wisdom for the good of all, I feel it is important to be able to be open to all feedback and engage from a place of curiosity, not just with people who support what we say or write. Go can we expand our own views and allow defection that if that many people had a negative reaction to a piece there might be something to it. I do think it is a sweet piece on the authors personal views and clearly thinks about what she is doing and how she is affecting the environment. I just think this could be good learning to let it all in, not just the positive and see how we can, even in well intentioned choices and beliefs, get so rigid in believing we are right and others are wrong creating more polarity. Blessings on taking it all in and letting it make you a better writer and more inclusive if writing about abstract concepts.

Michael Jul 10, 2015 4:26pm

Title should be "10 deal breakers"

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Matilda A. Juliette

Matilda A. Juliette began introspection and soul work several years ago. She fell in love with yoga during a miserable low point in life. Yet another job was compromising morals, her relationship was toxic, and when push came to shove she didn’t like herself all that much. It was a fast track towards a mediocre life. Searching for something positive to be a part of, Matilda impulsively purchased six months unlimited at the yoga studio. There she found something she didn’t realize was lost… herself. Yoga—something so simple, yet so complex changed everything. Matilda loves writing! In addition to blogging she is the sultry storyteller behind the book Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe—Dating and Sexcapades of a Yogi. Follow her (on Facebook and Instragram) through a hilarious and messy search for true love.