October 29, 2014

When we Can’t Commit to Anything.

cell phone, technology

Do you find yourself telling people that it is hard for you to commit to anything, or anyone, for too long?

Do you find yourself looking around for what is next? Do you find yourself daydreaming about being somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else?

In today’s go-go, get-it-faster age of technology, our minds and our consciousness are changing. We are able to assimilate information in new and quicker ways. We are able to stay connected to old friends and new with the click of a button, where there is no personal risk involved, where we don’t have to worry about anyone’s feelings—because our reactions are just written down in cyberspace and you can banish it within the blink of an eye.

Or, at least, that’s what our minds want us to think.

We all want and need signs of progress to continue any project, any relationship. We need signs of improvement to stay focused, energized, and motivated.

When we are in the initial stages of relationship, or practice, there is a rush of endorphins and we are bursting with vitality and creativity. We feel we can accomplish anything. We feel tapped into a source much greater than ourselves. We are committed to being with someone, or something for that moment because of what we are receiving.

We can taste and literally realize the benefits of being in love, or doing yoga.

But, what happens when progress slows down and we start to rub up against things within ourselves that we haven’t noticed, or looked at before? What happens when we lose confidence in our partner, our practice, ourselves?

At this point, we have a choice. We can stay and commit to soften-ing around our experience, or, we can escape and try something new.

The more physical and emotional resistance to commitment the mind gives us, the more determined we have to become.

Here are some helpful tricks that have kept me committed:

1. Past knowledge. By this I mean reminding myself over and over as to how much I need this and how good it will feel when I am done.

2. Just five minutes. I give myself a five minute rule. No matter what, I carve out five minutes for practice. Sometimes it ends up being at least 20.

3. There is no “too busy.” There are many ways to “practice.” Kindness/non-harming is an essential yoga practice. Even if I can only give myself five minutes to do a down dog, breathe and meditate, I have a whole day to improve my compassion and ahimsa. I place my awareness and efforts on my diet, while working on weeding out negative and judgmental thoughts and actions.

4. Belief. The yogic sages, over the past thousands of years, have paved the path and passed down the instructions as to how to attain true happiness in this life. I have faith that there is nothing that I have to create, or make up on my own. I just have to improve little by little, one day at a time, following the instructions of those that have come before.

5. Imagine your teacher. When all else fails, I remember the living example of my teacher. This always inspires me to continue.

6. Surrender. I remind myself that whatever is going on in my life, will pass, just as everything before it has. So I get on my mat, or cushion, especially during the hardest times, to maintain calm and carry on.

There is no such thing as perfect. There is no perfect person, no perfect job, no perfect practice. There just is. Committing is the act of accepting our own is-ness.

Best of luck and keep practicing!

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Author: Charry Morris

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Zolive/Flickr

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