It doesn’t need to be something we dread. What if you could find a way to have more fun on dates than you’ve been having?
Did you know that black clouds might be hanging over many of your dates?
Yes, really! And you know who’s conjuring up those black clouds?
This has to do with needing to develop awareness skills in noticing where you’re placing your thought emphasis.
There are some common black clouds in dating, hoping they will be the one. And of course add to the forecast, getting snowballed by attraction to them, feeling nervous or doing a “I have to get it right” expectation on your self. That doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun does it?
When you mix the pressure of getting it it right plus going on a date, it’s like the curse of failure clouding up your sunshiny day.
So how do you call in some sunshine on your dates?
Maybe it’s time to get real with your self and look at dating in a whole new way.
Here are some beginning steps:
It’s only a date! You’re not going in for a dental procedure are you?
2. It’s only going to cost you some time.
It’s not the end of the world if it’s not really what you hoped it would be, is it?
3. It’s an opportunity to practice connecting with someone you don’t know.
Can you look at it as learning some new skills?
4. Remember that the date is now.
It’s not about a future relationship involving romance, falling in love and moving in together.
It’s way too soon to even go there. Do you think it’s possible to keep yourself in present time and not project to the past or future of the relationship?
5. Think about your purpose for going on the date.
The list of reasons may surprise you. They can be things such as, wanting to start dating again or being scared of growing old alone or wanting a companion or someone to have satisfying sex with. Or an entire myriad of really strange, unusual and uniquely you reasons. So take the time to get really clear on this before going on your first date! Have you heard that wise statement, “You get what you give?”
It’s not the end of the world if the date turns out to be a dud.
Okay, so they weren’t the one. Remember there are a lot of fish in the sea.
And although statistics report, as you grow older that gender availability (especially for eligible men) shrinks, that doesn’t mean it’s a futile, wasted effort on your part. Can you make room for some great date possibility showing up for you?
After all, my husband and I both met over the age of forty. And although previously married with kids, our relationship after twelve years together, is still so much fun!
And why, because we have fun refreshing it daily with some pretty fun tools and you can too. But, you have to begin by dating!
And please catch the date but release them if they’re not exactly the fish you would like to spend time with.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Author: Carol Benson
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock