November 27, 2014

How to Be in Love.

ocean kiss

Being in love is the only transcendent experience. ~ Armistead Maupin

It’s fascinating how falling in love feels so similar to having our heart broken.

Our center feels raw and vertiginous. We are given to freefalling in memory of the beloved. A state of living in an alternate dimension. Not here, not there, but in that pool of randomly flickering image-memories and clips of conversation.

Hold it. We want to hold it all. Stop time. Freeze it in place and pin it like a rare and elusive butterfly.

But we can’t.

This is why it hurts. Love or loss of love. And ironically, it has nothing to do with love whatsoever. Not real love, anyway.

We are human beings, and humans love to feel things. It’s why we’re here. The purpose of human existence is for Great Spirit to create and experience all states of being. The Unlimited Oneness does not parcel out joy and pain; it is non-dual and in a state of pure perfection. We, in human form, are desperately needed to play out the full range of emotions and adventures. Doing so makes us fully human, and in being fully human, we act in assistance to Spirit.

So, love pain (whether ecstatic or mournful) isn’t about the lover. Or us as individuals. It’s about Spirit. Our experience in this reality comes from the desire to grasp the divine—but it already lives within us. We are saving it.

Now go ahead and test the theory.

Consider your beloved, either current or recently departed from your life. Now consider Spirit and your connection to it. Can you see that the dance is the same? Can you see your service to Spirit in both your bliss and your longing and your suffering?

Can you accept that all you experience in this life is a sacred offering?

How to Be in Love

  1. Open your heart. Feel earth-shattering, vertiginous love.
  1. Check for projections now and again. Are you seeing your beloved for who s/he is or are you playing the movie you want to see on the screen of his/her being?
  1. When offended or upset by something your partner has said or done, know that these are your issues. Find out the source and heal by talking it through, either with your beloved or your self.
  1. Get back to loving. Do your bit to create love in each moment, as Spirit creates life.
  1. Repeat steps 1 through 4.




When I Say I Love You, This is What I Mean. 

The Self-Love Myth. 

Relephant bonus:


Mindful Market Offering:

Things I Would Like to Do with You.

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Author: Rachel Astarte

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Eleazar/Flickr

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