Spontaneous sex is all well and good, however, from time to time, why not spice things up by adding a little thoughtful preparation to the act.
Dressing up for sex the first time can be a little nerve-racking. Thoughts may pop up such as:
What will my partner think of the outfit?
Do I look sexy?
Will it turn them on or off?
Do I have to act out the role that I am dressed for?
The first and most important thing to remember is that for any type of sex to feel good, it has to feel comfortable, otherwise, the pleasurable benefits will be lost.
We can be dressed in the most seductive, sultry outfit, but if we are not feeling it, we may as well be in fleece pajamas. The biggest turn on in bed is confidence.
Dressing up for sex needn’t be about donning a fully clad PVC all in one bondage suit, it means something different to everyone. When we put a little thought into an outfit, rather than wearing what we think is simply the sexiest outfit, we will ultimately get the biggest results.
Dressing up won’t be for everyone, so sometimes it might be best to give suggestive subliminal messaging signals first. Leave a magazine, or a website page open and then gently ease into a conversation.
If a little more daring “accidentally” stumble across a shop selling sexy underwear or outfits when out shopping. Step in and flirt and tease each other about what would look good. Ann Summers have a great range for beginners or for anyone who just wants bring variety to the bedroom.
It is sometimes easier to start off slowly, at first just opting for silky, lacy or faux leather underwear and then wearing more daring outfits as things progress.
Often people find that they may be shy in the bedroom with regular sex, however, dressing up, role-playing and fantasies all bring out their wilder and more erotic sides. It can be a great confidence boost, especially when the outfit is flattering and enhances our sexuality, sensuality and desirability.
Here are some suggestions to turn up the tension, turn on the passion and create heightened levels of arousal for both partners.
Underwear. Choose colours that compliment and enhance skin colour. Often black or red are the two most popular choices, but any bold or racy colours can work.
Choosing a style different to what would normally be worn day to day will be sure to catch the eye.
Swapping a bra for a bustier, corset or basque and adding a waspie or suspender belt can really vamp up an outfit. Also crotchless, peep hole, g or c string panties can also add an extra kink. A negligee or babydoll can always be worn over the top to create a little mystery and leave a little to the imagination.
A sensual but sexual outfit. See through blouses, mini skirts, tight dresses and also loose fitting clothing such as an oversize shirt with a tie can all be worn to heat things up.
An outfit that looks totally sexy, but far too daring to wear outside is usually one that will win. Think seductive secretary or dominatrix and choose fabrics that would not normally be worn outdoors such as wet look, pvc and faux leather. Add dark rimmed glasses and let underwear peek through the clothing to give a glimpse at what’s underneath. Stockings, suspender belts and heels all add to the feel and also the visual.
Body stockings. Full lace, sheer, fishnet or pvc body stockings are irresistible as they flatter all body sizes and shapes and also can have additional extras such as peek a boo holes for the nipples, tie or zip up fastenings for undressing and crotchless detailing so they can be left on for romantic and erotic sex. An option that has stretch to it will often be the best choice so that curves are flattered and also so that it hugs the body tight.
Role Play. These types of costumes can be purchased in either the style usually worn to a fancy dress party, or a sexier cut for the bedroom. Superhero’s such as Wonder Woman, Batman/woman, Superman/girl are all top of the fantasy list.
Also, uniformed outfits such as nurses, French maids, pilots, sailors and firemen also score well. Adding a pair of high heel PVC boots to an outfit can also work wonders in raising the temperature. When wearing these outfits there should be no pressure to act out the role, just enjoy the feel and look of the outfit and any additional play may come naturally within time.
Extras. Nipple tassles, blindfolds, whips, garters, bondage rope and handcuffs can all be added as props to excite and arouse. Even if they’re not used at first, but just held to tease, just the introduction of them can be enough to juice things up.
These outfits are not just male/female specific—dressing up shouldn’t just be left to women. Too much emphasis can be placed on the female to look good for sex, men can also do their part to raise the tempo.
Be risky, be daring, be adventurous and if it doesn’t work, try something new, something a little different.
Open one another’s minds, as the brain is the most powerful sex organ we have.
Exploit it, explore it and don’t be afraid. Rewire the brain and discover that explosive and mind blowing sex is readily available—it just sometimes takes a little thought, courage and perseverance to get there.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Author: Alex Sandra Myles
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock