This is for the Tough Days.

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This is for the days when our hearts hurt like hell, pulsating with a fierce, fiery pain.

This is for the days when we bite back tears, trying too hard to swallow them whole.

This is for the days when our souls feel heavy, so we slump our tired shoulders down, down, down.

This is for the days when getting out of bed feels like a bad-ass, award-winning achievement.

This is for the days when we tremble with anger, our temper on super-short hairline-triggers.

This is for the days when we feel empty, useless and invisible, like a hungry ghost.


This is for those really tough days.

The days that rip us wide open, leaving us naked and exhausted, shivering in the dark.

The days where we just want to give up.

The days where we want to run far, far, away.

But, we can’t.

We can’t run. Or hide. Or give up.

Because if we did, the only person we would be running from is ourselves.

We would be giving up on ourselves.

Hiding from ourselves.

So, yes, we can try to bail and haphazardly fling ourselves under a fast-moving bus when the going gets tough.

But the thing is—we actually need ourselves the most on those f*cking tough, trying and terrible days.

Let’s stay.

Let’s stick it out.

We don’t need to understand what we’re feeling.

We don’t need to analyze it.

We just need to stay and support the sh*t out of ourselves.


What can we do?

We can be bold and dive right into the toughness of the day, feeling the icy water drip into our hearts, freezing to form incredibly beautiful icicles.

We can run directly towards ourselves, sprinting with wide open arms, a supportive smile and a glass of succulent red wine.

We can buy our battered souls a big bouquet of blossoming flowers.

We can clear a space and cry a thousand crystalline drops till the skies clear and our salty tear-rain has passed.

We can run our soul a frothy bubble bath, slip into mile-high lavender bubbles and take a breath.

We can retreat from the world, burrow under our covers, sigh, moan and just hurt.

We can ask ourselves, “What can I do for you right now?”

We can be really ballsy, wear our heart on our sleeve and ask a trusted friend for an extra-large serving of support.

We can curl up in child’s pose and cry into our yoga mats.

We can write, paint, dance and sing our hurt, our passionate pain, our wicked grief, and express it no-holds-barred, creating magical art from our madness.

We can cue up an angsty, melancholy playlist and sob or scream or tremble till our hearts slip into a soothed state.

We can reach out, take our own hand and squeeze it hard.


There are a thousand beautiful things we can do to support ourselves.

So let’s vow now to never, ever abandon our sweet selves again.


Because, yes, some days are incredibly tough.

But they can be really juicy, too.

They can be transformative.

They can be beautiful.

They can be filled with inspiration.

They can be chock-full of creativity.

They can be exactly what we need.

So, let’s be bold and stick around.

Let’s be badass and meet those tough days head on.

Relephant read:

A Handbook for Hard Times: How to Make it Through A Rough Patch.

10 Ways to Take Care of Ourselves when we’re Suffering from Burn Out.

 Cut Me Some Slack, I’m Only Human. ~ Lisa Farinosi


Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: Used with permission/Tareck Raffoul

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Sarah Harvey

Sarah Harvey resides in the mysterious mountains of western North Carolina. Through the journey of healing her own trauma and pain, she has found power in poetic expression, art, and dance. She loves supporting people to step into their power, find their voices, and flourish. She believes in resilience. She believes that sometimes, our darkest days lead to the most unexpected, breathless joy. She currently offers life coaching sessions and is pursuing her Masters in Counseling. She feels most passionate about supporting those healing from trauma with a creative, heartfelt, and gentle approach.  Follow Sarah on Facebook and her website!

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anonymous Mar 30, 2016 6:17pm

Thank you….this is exactly what I needed to hear.

anonymous Dec 10, 2015 8:54am

This is the best thing I’ve read in a long,long time. You made me get up and make myself a a cup of English Breakfast Tea instead of sulking. THANK YOU.

Love from India! 🙂

anonymous Nov 2, 2015 9:51pm

So, initially I thought this was such a wonderful and inspiring piece of work…until I got to the couple of profane words and that just burst the bubble for me. Why must this generation ruin so many wonderful things which such harsh and disgraceful language. Disappointing cause the profanity took away from the beauty and spirit of the piece.

anonymous Oct 3, 2015 3:59am

Thankyou, this really brought me back to the reality that I am part of humanity struggling at times, that it’s not just me doing it tough. Brings me back to earth and explodes my heart. Can’t thank you enough for that perspective. I will book mark this. It’s comforting to know I can pull it up next time those days come for me…

anonymous Aug 24, 2015 4:48am

Dear Sarah,

Thank you! I needed this so much today. I needed it yesterday, and I’ll be needing it tomorrow. I’ll be needing it for a while, I fear, and I’ll read this at the beginning of each one of these tough days, as an affirmation for myself. Again, thank you!

anonymous Aug 23, 2015 4:34pm

thank you for this, it is like you were in my heart.

anonymous Aug 7, 2015 1:44pm

Super cute , this is the best thing I have ever read !!!

anonymous Jul 26, 2015 12:49pm

Thanks for the read ,
It found me wanting some ease in a rough patch in life ,
Much needed and helpful ,
Thank you very very much for lifting my private burdens

anonymous Jul 19, 2015 7:55am

This is me right now and boy do I wish I read this a couple weeks ago as I tried to take my own life. I’m so glad that I was unsuccessful. I have to start trying to look on the brighter side of things but it is so hard at times. I too have MS and that plays a huge role in my depression.

anonymous Jul 5, 2015 10:09pm

LOVE it!

anonymous Jul 5, 2015 9:37am

Thank you, I have MS and have quite a few days like that. There are no good medicines out there for MS and the doctors don’t care (for real).

anonymous Jun 11, 2015 7:22pm

No words. Beautiful! Thank you for writing this, you're very gifted.

anonymous Jun 11, 2015 2:47pm

Sarah. This article was written for folks like me. Thank you.
If this is inappropriate for any reason please delete.
I belong to a support group for those suffering from Bi-Polar, Depression and/or Anxiety. It sounds like some commenters have some problems similar to mine and might benefit from this particular facebook site. It's a closed group. If you join and don't like it, you can "un-join".

anonymous Jun 10, 2015 9:41pm

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for this beautiful piece. It’s so empowering and uplifting. Especially for me at this moment, dealing with postpartum depression, I forget that I have options other than just feel depressed in bed. Your words gave me a perspective that shifted the wsy I think of how to deal with tough days. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much impact you have made in my life.

anonymous Jun 4, 2015 7:54pm

You must have been feeling some incredible feelings when you wrote this. I am currently going through one of the most trying times I have ever had the “pleasure” of witnessing. I find its much easier to walk away with a smile…. than it is to walk away with hatred. This is very inspiring! Especially when everything you do seems to fall apart on a particular evening…. even when everything is going so right. It’s just like BAM! this helped me remember why I keep smiling!!!! Why it’s ok to cry! And why it’s ok to tell someone how you really feel. Especially when it’s admitting something to yourself.

anonymous May 6, 2015 11:50am

I met a beautiful woman on my flight to Vegas… absolutely stunning. I swear she was God sent. Currently going through a divorce, which she and I spoke about… Didn’t really want to depress her with my issues, but I’m happy she was there to listen.. and offer pointers, which really helped to bring me up when I just felt like staying in my room. To top it off, I received this from her. I read it hourly… I’m thankful for the author and also my new friend for sending this to me… I’m hopeful.

anonymous May 4, 2015 4:32am

Thank you for this.

anonymous Mar 27, 2015 7:39pm

Hi Sarah. Nice read. Sometimes i find taking action no matter how small on a problem or issue helps me out. Cheers

anonymous Mar 14, 2015 2:44pm

Beautiful, beautiful…Love this.

anonymous Mar 11, 2015 4:34am

I really like this. I have been having an awful could of weeks with someone who I have been selected to go with to correctional officer training with and it’s not been easy. In fact it’s border line workplace bullying. Even after trying to smooth things over its not gotten any better so I find someone else to talk to or hang out by myself. This picked me up. Thank you.

anonymous Mar 10, 2015 6:53am

Outstanding, empowering and empathically beautiful! 🙂

anonymous Mar 9, 2015 7:05pm

This is me now. I’m in a place with no joy. Everyday it is the same. I fight and fight and fight it. Someday soon I’ll be better and be able to smile and mean it.
Thank you for acknowledging that life isn’t always this perfect dream.

anonymous Mar 2, 2015 5:07pm

This is my first post online ever.

It has been a terrible day after a tough weekend, week, month and year. I found this looking for something that could give me some solace, some glimmer of hope that someday it will be ok. And it did.

Thank you so much.

anonymous Feb 12, 2015 11:03am

This is one of the most amazing reads I’ve ever read on here. I’ve been in that place, checked my self and then got back up swinging. Thanks for putting into words EXACTLY how I felt. Loved this. Will share year after year, after year.

anonymous Feb 10, 2015 3:50pm

I needed to read this today, at this very moment. Thank you.

anonymous Feb 7, 2015 11:24pm

A very good friend, who also went through what I am going through, sent this link to me. To know that I am not alone means the world to me. Now to work at getting over the hump.

anonymous Feb 7, 2015 1:57pm

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve read. ..possibly ever. Amazing job!!

anonymous Feb 7, 2015 7:00am

You just described how I feel at some of my lowest moments… They don't come too often but they're awful when they do. Thanks for expressing so well what I've felt.

anonymous Feb 6, 2015 5:05pm

My sweet daughter sent this to me today. I really needed it and appreciated it.

anonymous Feb 6, 2015 12:06pm

thank you so much for this. in a very deep dark empty place right now, and this made me remember that maybe i deserve my own friendship through this time. well, first it made me cry, sob really, maybe because it feels comforting that at least one other person out there knows how bleak it can get. as i often say, it's hard to be a person.

anonymous Feb 6, 2015 11:56am

I absolutely think this is tremendous and so honest. Sent it to my daughter who I asked me how I knew she was having a terrible day. I am a therapist and will be sharing this sentiment.

Vicki Cadwallader Jun 12, 2016 3:09am

Thank you so much for writing this, I'll be saving this to reflect on when I have a super tough day

Vicki Cadwallader Jun 12, 2016 3:09am

Thank you so much for writing this, I'll be saving this to reflect on when I have a super tough day

Eve Nieves Jun 12, 2016 2:57am

Wow its so creepy how I click on this article from fb and it just so happens to be posted on my Birthday (2/5/78)!! To top it off it was a message that I needed to read to remind myself of the powers that are within me... Thank you for the post!! Namaste......