5 Truths to Remember when you Feel like you are Not Enough.

Via Alissa Lastres
on May 4, 2015
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We all live with moments, days or weeks of self-doubt.

These are times that make us feel inadequate and over-conscious of our long list of flaws. They’re occasions that make us question our purpose, our image or our identity, forcing us to wonder if we just aren’t enough.

The frequency in my moments of self-doubt has increased since putting my thoughts out into the world in writing. If I did not receive the feedback I desired, I immediately started questioning my purpose and my goals and harping on whether or not people were just perceiving me as strange. I started a negative spiral of focusing too much on where I fell short while comparing that list to where others seemed to flourish.

I quickly realized that these emerging insecurities would break me down if I didn’t stand up to them.

I recently read my results on a personality inventory. It told me that I am sensitive (I knew this) and that I often base my perceptions of myself through how I feel others perceive me. This hit home not because I felt it was unique to me, but because I hadn’t realized before the power of the key word: perception.

Since then I have identified a simple fact: it is my own negative thinking that hinders me. I am the one who attaches meaning to a rejection, a comment or a lack of traffic on my articles. I am the one who keeps taking things personally. I am the one attacking myself for not succeeding as quickly as I would like.

Since realizing this, I have learned how to replace that negativity with self-encouragement, a dash of harsh reality and words of kindness.

Here are some things I have told myself to snap out of it:

1.  If we believe that we are only on this Earth for a limited time, then who cares if people think we are weird?

At the end of the day, what are we living for if we aren’t fighting to be the best version of ourselves, if we aren’t pushing the envelope and shoving ourselves into situations where discomfort is all encompassing? I am not going to get buried 6 feet under or have my ashes thrown out to sea without knowing that I made some kind of name for myself. It’s not happening. If death is the biggest thing to fear, someone thinking I’m weird pales in comparison.

2. F*&k it.

If I’m living authentically, if I’m riding my train straight into a place that feels right for me, I’m going to keep riding. There are going to be people or places or moments along the way that make me feel like I’m not good enough and that is okay. As long as I stay true to who I am, as long as I keep working to grow and learn and try— I will be ahead of the game.

3. So what if someone seems to be having a better time than me?

I have gone through periods of comparing myself to others. Individuals who appear to be living a life I would rather have, who are chasing their dreams with fearless relentlessness and trekking out into the unknown to vibe with whatever comes up. I now fight this with a blunt, ‘make more of your time then!’ or a ‘keep pushing until this life feels like the blessing it is supposed to be.’

4. I count my own blessings.

I remember that it could be so, so, so much worse. I snap myself out of it because I am pretty damn lucky. I remind myself of my talents, accomplishments, loved ones and life experiences. I fight against drowning in my weaknesses by soaring with my strengths.

5. I remind myself that I am enough.

I will continue to be enough no matter what I am pursuing, who I am with, where I am going, or what I am fighting for. I am enough because I say so. I have power over my thoughts and my self-image and that is enough.

~

I will continue to remind myself of these things when those moments of doubt inevitably creep back in again. But they won’t stay around for long—they have no place in my happy heart. They have no place in yours either.

Live your authentic life, pursue your dreams and remind yourself over and over again that you are enough just the way you are. You rock out at things I could only be in awe of and the same goes for me. Use your talents, find your voice, grab the reigns and take off.

 

Relephant: 

Women: I can’t call you Beautiful, because it’s not Enough.

Relephant bonus: How to quickly wake up our minds to the present moment:

~

Author: Alissa Lastres

Editor: Alli Sarazen

Photo: FaceMePLS/Flickr

457,232 views

About Alissa Lastres

Alissa Lastres is on a journey to discover what makes her soul happy. She believes it to be a continuous process as we are all always learning and growing. She has a background in psychology, mental health counseling, and career counseling and specializes in emerging adulthood. She uses yoga and its teachings to stay grounded and authentic and writes with the hope that others can find their authentic selves and own it. She is inspired easily, thrives on new experiences and believes traveling is good for the soul. Read more of her work on her website or connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.

Comments

23 Responses to “5 Truths to Remember when you Feel like you are Not Enough.”

  1. traci says:

    Thank you for the wonderful inspiration. I think my view often matches that of this article, but I needed a reminder and am grateful you could provide that in your writing. I came into a disagreement with a person who responded to me "no wonder you have no friends", this article saved the moment that I am enough and that is only one persons opinion.

  2. Alissa says:

    Traci- thank you for your words. I think we all need this reminder from time to time; I know I did. We will always face people or moments that make us question who we are– but we can choose to see those times as opportunities for self-growth, while still knowing we are enough just the way we are. Everything comes back to our perception.
    Thank you for commenting!
    Alissa (author)

  3. Traci-
    Thank you for sharing. I feel so grateful that my words could remind you of an important fact– that you are enough. We all need this reminder. I reminded myself over and over again while watching the views on this article grow.
    Thank you again,
    Alissa (author)

  4. rose says:

    Good words of wisdom. Thanks

  5. Betty says:

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. Because I woke this morning with this feeling that I couldnt really describe. Im usually pretty content, but this morning I just felt like a failure, questioning, “when did I start comparing myself to others?” Then I saw this post on FB, read this, and felt like this is exactly what I needed today. Best wishes for many joyful days, to everyone who read this.

  6. Thank you for reading, Rose.

  7. Betty-
    Thank you for sharing. I feel such joy that my words impacted you in a positive way. We are so often exposed to opportunities to compare ourselves to others, especially through social media. We all need the reminder once in awhile that we are enough.
    🙂 Alissa

  8. Amber says:

    Thank you, thank you for this article! It is exactly what I’ve needed right now. I know my heart, my care, my intention…but then I torture myself with the feeling of rejection with not receiving positive feedback from others. It’s made me question everything I do and my worthiness. I have come way too far to batter myself and give up because of what I “think” others think of me!

  9. Amber–
    You are totally spot on. It is what we 'think' others think of us. What I have found is when I am feeling more confident, I channel my perception of what others think of me through a more positive lens– and then suddenly I am not over reacting or hurt. On days when I already feeling shaken, it could take one look the wrong way to tear me apart and make me question if everyone hates me. We have so much power in our own minds.
    Thank you for reading 🙂
    -Alissa

  10. @withAnnF says:

    I love this article!! Thank you so much for writing it. It is exactly what I needed to hear lately!!!!!!!

  11. Thank you for sharing, Ann! I am so happy you stumbled upon it and that you found it useful 🙂
    -Alissa

  12. Todd Baxter says:

    Excellent wisdom here, thank you for posting. Had this same enough battle with my self this week. And really that is where that battle needs to be fought. I have a 3 son and one wife with autism. I have one son that is severely autistic and can not speak. A lot of times I beat myself up asking am I doing enough for him. I have gone to so called experts that after watching him for 15 minutes and told me not to have much hope. But the thing is I don't know how his story will unfold, and neither do the so called experts. I have seen him overcome and do things they said he would never do. And why is that?, if those experts were right? Its because I cared, I have never given up on him , nor will I ever.. Sometimes just loving is enough..

  13. Alissa says:

    Todd,

    It does sound like you are juggling a lot. It is often easier to question our abilities and our efforts when we are pulled in twenty different directions, feeling inadequate in each place we head toward.

    i wrote another article with elephant entitled “2 crucial steps toward self forgiveness.” We are all hard on ourselves, but we can’t be our best for others if we aren’t feeling our best internally.

    Oh, and keep fighting the odds, you know your kid better than an expert does 🙂

    Alissa

  14. circleoflightministries says:

    Definitely at a time that I needed to hear this. Thank you.

  15. Ayeisha says:

    Thank you Alissa.

    This is what I needed to know exactly right now. I have always been honest about my views and thus, I have faced criticism and I have felt so much hurt, questioning my own bravery to stand up for what is right. I saw friends backstabbing me, I have felt self-doubt for talking right and speaking against the odds. This society never treats well an honest and brave person with. It tries to cut the wings and kill the self-confidence.

    But Alissa, I won’t stop being what I am. As you have said, what is more fearful than death? Criticism falls pale compared to death. Alissa, please never stop writing, put your thoughts of bravery and inspire us.

  16. Michelle says:

    Thank you so much for this article…just what I needed to read …. I have to keep reminding myself that I am good enough and I deserve to be happy!!!!

  17. Emily says:

    I happily came across this in my time of need, in my very own pit of worthlessness. Thank you for this, truly. Words and articles like this help to put a ladder in that pit, and all that’s left is to climb.

  18. Milagros says:

    Simply what I needed! I am enough, perfect as I am and I love myself! thanks for reminding me this! Sometimes it’s like I “forget” about that and I stop trusting myselg or I care about what others may think about me.

    Thanks again!

  19. Tom says:

    Today was a really tough day at work. I was feeling I am breaking down and everything is bad. Was feeling very bad about myself and everything just seemed so negative. And then i came across this post. This helped me a lot. You helped me a lot. I had to say thank you.

    Amazing writing.

  20. Himani says:

    Thank you Alissa. I can’t express what your words mean to me at this moment. They have enlightened me in ways nothing else could. I sure will re-read this article till I don’t imbibe it completely. Lots and lots of love to you!

  21. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for posting this, I have times when I think I am my own biggest criticizer . Trying to fit myself into the perfect cookie cutter lifestyle that most people seem to fall into and failing most of the time…I am different and it's nice to read something that makes me feel that is ok . We all have one life to live , why not try to be happy and yourself.

  22. Alissa says:

    Ayeisha, thank you for taking the time to comment with your thoughts. I am so happy you found the article to be helpful 🙂

    Alissa

  23. Alissa says:

    Emily,

    That is all I could hope for these articles to do. It was incredibly healing to write it and I am so happy to know it has been healing to read.

    Alissa