May 25, 2015

Before you Throw Away your Relationship, Read This.


“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you.

You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

~ Bob Marley

It is 2016. Never before have we had so many options and choices. The beauty of this whole concept is the outcome; the more choice we have, the more freedom we have. However, the overwhelming amount of choices and options—from your morning coffee, to the newly released iPhone—have left us with an inability to commit.

I am in my third year as a university student. Within these three years, I have managed to transfer my degree four times. Looking back 30 years ago, this probably would not have been an option. You would grow up to seek the career path of your parents.

Sadly enough, this applies to our romantic relationships as well. We tell ourselves that there are plenty fish in the sea, but never before has our sea been so overpopulated with fish.

We fall in love, fast and deeply. The first three months or the “honeymoon” phase is a pure bliss and leaves us with feelings of constant euphoria. But as soon as we begin to recognise the faults in our significant other, we convince ourselves that we deserve more, that there are better ones out there.

In simple terms, as soon as the sh*t hits the fan, we give up.

I observe my parents, looking back at the 23 years we shared together as a family. Regardless of the difficulties, challenges and obstacles they have faced, they are still together, celebrating 25 years of marriage this year. They are my greatest inspiration to love, the representation of commitment.

Unfortunately, I do not see that type of commitment in my generation. We move on to the next person as if we are changing the sheets of our bed. We share ourselves, over and over again, until we become numb to the idea of real intimacy.

Before you decide to leave your partner, lover or friend, please consider this:

I know you have probably heard it all before, but love is not to find yourself in a perfect relationship. Love is to overcome barriers, facing yourself and growing with your best friend. But most importantly, to accept. Accept each other for our imperfections and let go of the idea that the world or someone owe us a fairytale story.

Then ask yourself, are you able to full-heartedly say to your partner, “there are plenty of fish in the sea, yes, but I choose to commit to you.”


Relephant Read:

The Truth About Commitment.

The one simple thing you can always do when things get tough:


Author: Selma Aytan

Editor: Renee Jahnke

Photo: WilB-Flickr


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Selma Aytan