Kiss My Cellulite Covered A*s!

Via Christine "Cissy" White
on May 12, 2015
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Warning: naughty language ahead!

I’m coming out with my cellulite-covered bottom half. In my bedroom, at the beach and at yoga class.

Yup, it’s happening.

I’m tired of hiding my cellulite from myself and others. I’ve got it and have since I was 12. Three plus decades later it’s probably not going anywhere. I think it’s safe to admit that.

It would be a lie to say, “I love my sweet adorable and dimply thighs.” I aspire to that level of self-love. I’m not there.

I feel self-conscious when my thigh skin shows or really any skin above the shins.

It looks like the blender broke in the middle of making mashed potatoes and someone super glued the remains to my ass and legs.

Do I love the look?

I do not.

But I’m tired of avoiding swimming, walking in shorts, biking or paddle boarding. So make peace with the texture I must. Hey, even cranberry sauce isn’t always all smooth and shiny unless you get it sliding out of the can. Sometimes the homemade kind is messier and filled with chunks and peel—even if it’s organic.

Sometimes, that’s just life—the price of being real.

My dimples can’t be exfoliated, tanned or even weight-lifted off.

I’ve tried.

I’ve tried oregano oil and deep wood brushing and using a vibrator to massage my skin. There have been rollers and apple cider vinegar water and weight lifting.

From the waist up I can tone with yoga and resistance training but from the waist down, not so much. My thighs and buttocks say, “We do as we wish and nothing you can do can change us.”

Not yoga or exercise or clean eating makes a dent in the dents. Did I mention squats or burpees? Nothing. And I f’n hate those.

So, summer comes with capris and shorts and bathing suits. What’s a human to do?

Swim, do yoga and work on worrying less—even if cellulite shows.

I’m lucky to have the good use of both legs. That’s not nothing.

My kid will still be seen at the beach with me. Bonus number two.

And to not walk my puppy on the sand or run and play because of jiggle or appearances? Well that’s kind of ludicrous and superficial.

To cellulite I wave the white flag and say, you are one persistent mother-fucker. I can’t beat you back or out of my skin but I can stop hiding you and pretending you don’t exist. You don’t steal joy from my thundering ass and thighs.

It’s time to shed nylons and leggings worn with short skirts in all four seasons.

These imperfections are all mine. I own them and even if I never love them I can accept them.

Who am I proving what to by avoiding kayaking or standing in shorts?

I’ve started to leave the sweatshirt in the car rather than wrap it around my waist before and after yoga.

I’m working toward caring less what others think—myself included. Honestly, I hate that I care at all but I do.

I’m not the only human with cellulite, though you wouldn’t know that from TV, magazines or movies. Maybe if we all revealed more we’d all be more relieved.

We don’t all have cellulite but we all have something we don’t love about ourselves. Scars. Insecurities. Veins. Ripples. Dimples. Age spots. Wrinkles. Stretch spots. Flab. We can focus more on how our parts work rather than how they look.

We can join together in our un-photo-shopped glory and beauty as varied shaped bodies who are athletes, swimmers, yogis and adventurers.

We deserve a downward dog as much as a tight ass.

We should be able to walk around in public wearing basically pajamas just like others.

We need to stay cool in 100% humidity and let some skin show too even if we’re not runway models.

We can get ahead of the next movement. Dove will come out with a “get caught in cellulite” commercial or someone will start Kiss My Cellulite Covered Ass Indie Go Go campaign. I’ll fund it right along with Elephant Books.

Maybe Pink or Beyonce will come out with a Sexy Cellulite song.

Until that time, “I’m Cissy and I have a whole bunch of f’n cellulite. Always have. Always will. You are not alone.”

Cellulite is below skin deep. Cellulite is forever.

I’m pretty sure I can find a pocket in my cellulite-covered ass without even wearing pants.

And still, I’m not wearing spanx under yoga pants or using duct tape to smooth or tighten my skin.

I’m done with baggy everything and worrying if my backside is sliding down my backslide. No worrying; it is.

It’s summer. I like kayaking and being able to move my legs.

Period.

If these legs want to kick it up in a yoga class outside I’m going to have to let them.

Maybe, if I practice long, hard and regularly enough I’ll get to the point when I can kiss my own cellulite-covered ass.

And then fall down laughing.

 

Relephant:

The Incredibly Beautiful Bodies of Mothers. {Nudity}

Working with what’s inside, not just outside: 

 

~

Author: Cissy White

Editor: Caroline Beaton

Photo: Flickr

 


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About Christine "Cissy" White

Christine “Cissy” Whiteknows it's possible to live, love and parent well after being raised in hell. Possible but not easy. Her work has been widely published in places such as The Boston Globe, Ms. Magazine online, Spirituality & Health, The Mighty & To Write Love on Her Arms. She speaks about developmental trauma, expressive writing and the lifelong impact of adverse childhood experiences. Her motto is "It's not trauma informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors." She's founder of Heal Write Now, co-collaborator of the #FacesOfPTSD campaign and Group Manager of Parenting with ACEs on the ACEsConnectionNetwork. Find her on Heal Write Now on Facebook: Facebook page Email [email protected] to contact Christine "Cissy" White.

Comments

27 Responses to “Kiss My Cellulite Covered A*s!”

  1. Shana says:

    do it! i stand proudly with you! me and my flabby belly that does NOT want to go way, no matter how hard i try! 🙂 i just went to a small reunion of friends, at the beach, and i wore my suit! embrace what ya got! 🙂 let people love you for who you are, not what ya look like in short shorts or a swimsuit. 😉 <3

  2. anthony says:

    Good for you

  3. heidi says:

    I'm roaring! it's making me love my @ss! (And hers!)

  4. YES!! I am at the exact same point Christine (funny, we have the same name) and I have done many if not all of the things you mention to try and eliminate my dimpled skin. I’m 51 and finally coming to peace with my cellulite! It is glorious! Coming to peace that is, not the cellulite (not yet anyway, but getting there). It’s a part of me and if I love myself, I can’t just love the parts that I think look good. I’ve also decided that if it doesn’t matter to me, then it doesn’t matter to anyone else either. Good for you! Keep saying it loud and proud honey! It lessens the stigma.

    Dimpled asses unite!!

  5. Andrew says:

    It’s your body and if someone doesn’t like it they can just avert their eyes. Ya know what? No. Don’t. I hope they take a long hard look at your “imperfections” and understand what a woman actually looks like- no airbrushing, no shapewear or tricky garments, no bullshit. An honest to God natural woman has “flaws” and they’re beautiful for it.
    This is exactly what I needed to read today. I’m currently recovering from bulimia nervosa and almost did something really dumb. Thank you for helping me stop myself.

  6. Jessica says:

    Really enjoyed this!

    Well done, well said. I have saved this to read over when I’m feeling ambushed by my own ass! 🙂

  7. Sondra says:

    None of that will matter when you are old and you will wish it never mattered. Who cares, dance like no one is watching is a lifestyle, try it and you will like it. I am a flabby 55 year old now but I swim in whatever swim suit I want, I surf the waves, I fall over and laugh and have the time of my life. Focus your energy on being the best person from the inside, it makes you beautiful on the outside too. Who are you trying to impress any way, in 10 years you will think you were skinny…….think about that.

  8. Mickey says:

    That is beautiful.

    Thanks!

  9. Tammy says:

    I love your articles Cissy!!!!

  10. Sarah says:

    I'm in the same boat and have been since puberty. No matter how much I run, squat, or do leg lifts, the dimples will not go, and I have a fantastic tan line from the capris style everything I wear. At 28, I haven't learned to wear shorts and I never go to pools where I might see people outside of my immediate family again. I'm a work in progress…

  11. Elle says:

    I am 115 pounds, have had three children and I still have cellulite on my thighs…..I hid that for years but now at 46 I am tired of hiding that part of my body, it needs to be celebrated and loved just like any other part of me!!

  12. Sarah,
    We can all help each other get there…. Here's to shorts and bathing suits!
    Cissy

  13. Thank you Sondra! I'm getting there. You are my role model!

  14. Ambushed by my ass! Love it!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Andrew,
    SO glad to hear you chose your health this time! Cissy

  16. Dimpled ass name twin – YES! I love how you say coming to peace is glorious!!!!!!!! GLORIOUS!!!!!!! We can all lessen the stigma together and stop imposed it on ourselves too.

  17. Now I'm roaring!!!!!!

  18. clarathegreat says:

    Oh my goodness – totally on the same wavelength!!
    https://refoldedorigami.wordpress.com/2015/04/27/

    250 days of criticizing myself in a lifetime – almost a year. I am so over it!! There are much better things for fabulous, beautiful, smart, powerful women to be doing with our time. Loved this – thank you!

  19. Christine says:

    Absolutely beautiful! We need to accept our bodies as they are. Come on ladies, let's rock the bikinis this summer!

  20. Heather says:

    I want to join this revolution!

    I had a miracle baby at 42, and while I practiced yoga/ran and was in "relative" decent shape, and in theme with the article and posters, have had cellulite since I was 12. It's been a long way back to my practice, and still have a long way to go to reach any type of fitness goal (realizing I may never, at this point, be who I once was, although I was far, far, far from supermodel), but now that my daughter is year and a half, I am putting on my (albeit bigger) new bikini to play with her in the sand, complete with all my imperfections.

    Thank you for writing this piece and for everyone here for sharing their story.

  21. Heather,
    Aren't the comments great? I love reading them. We are a tribe of be in our skin while loving all of the imperfections. I feel support too from the comments. Yay. Cellulite Cissy Writer

  22. johnnardi says:

    Thanks

  23. sarahtheaquarian says:

    You are awesome!!!!! 🙂 This is fantastic

  24. Frederique says:

    Hi Cissy. I’ve never had the pleasure of reading your prose however I loved your article to bits. I’m 37, mother of two and a husband who always wonders why I work so hard to banish the unbanishable! Ive never ever once considered that I might very well be “stuck” with cellulite for life (so dramatic I know given it’s hardly an ailment!). I’ve always put it down to me not working hard enough at dieting or exercise. I’m blessed with generally a svelte figure and never had to worry about cellulite until the ripe

    Old age of 21. Post kids I’ve been blessed with a curvaceous booty which makes me look slightly like a matteus bottle (thanks mum for that moniker u kindly imparted after years of hearing u describe yourself). I’m now a carbon copy of my mum and no matter how beautiful she is I dread and yet know I’ll battle cellulite as she continues too. Your article made me realise I have the choice – quite simply I don’t need to battle anymore. I’m happy to continue eating healthily and exercise at least twice a week. I’ll probably steer clear of short shorts as I’m a believer of wearing clothes that flatter your figure – and there’s plenty of those that do! I WILL however rock my bikini as I do every summer (can’t really escape that one living in a coastal town). This summer I won’t take photos of my ass in the mirror to see if it’s shrunk or slink into the water and wonder what other beach goers are thinking. The truth is – my sister (a model) constantly reminds me SHE too has cellulite (she does) despite her tiny frame. She also reminds me that everything we see is photo shopped and kindly points out where she’s photo shopped in magazine pics. It’s a stark reminder that the women we want to look like are just not real and the ones who fit the ideal body also have these “imperfections”. Sondra nailed it with her comment. Who hasn’t seen a photo of themselves and hasn’t thought how beautiful they looked “back then”. I nearly wrote the “c word” when referring to cellulite and realised this means cancer to most. Let’s just be thrilled that most of our bodies are healthy, functional and a miracle in themselves. Thank u so much for your beautiful article and changing my mindset as we enter spring! Xo

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