May 21, 2015

Lost Times. {Poem}


Last night

I wanted to tell you how I feel
I wanted to be passionate
And cry in your arms
I wanted to stand in the pouring rain
And profess my love for you
I wanted to tell you
That it hurts me so
That you weren’t my first love
That I haven’t known you since my youth
Because it feels like we have
Yet we haven’t
And I feel like it’s so many lost times
And so many missed opportunities
And I feel that if you were my first love
You never would have let me go
My parents would have already accepted you
And perhaps we’d already have a family
Foolish girl I know
For dwelling on the “what never could be”
But I feel like if I was more like my mother
If I could express what’s in my heart
Then you’d know
And you wouldn’t doubt my love for you
A part of me wants to tell you
So deeply that it hurts
It pains me
The what could be
The other part of me warns me
Not to be vulnerable
Don’t give your heart away
My heart has already been given to you
Sealed with my soul
But if you see it
Too deeply
There’s no going back
If you decide
It’s not what you want, some day
And that’s what holds me back
I want to tell you my love
I want to scream it
And cry it
Until my eyes are swollen
And my voice too hoarse to speak
I want you to know
You have me
And I want you to know my secret:
That I’ve loved you since I was born
That I believe you’re my true love
I just found you later than I should
But I suppose everything happens for a reason
And these life lessons have taught me
To cherish every moment I have with you
To cherish the simple things in life
And to never take you for granted
I’m sorry we’ve only just found each other my love
But know that I’ll spend every day making up every lost moment
And each day
I’ll try
To show you a little more
Than the day before



Divorce Doesn’t Need to be a Four Letter Word.


Author:  Ali Fermaniuk

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Pixoto/ Suzana Dordea

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