“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ~ Steve Maraboli
What do men really see when they tell a woman she is beautiful?
This is what I wanted to explore. The raw and human condition behind men’s deepest desires. So I decided to seek out 14 men and ask each of them to weigh in on the opposite sex. I knew their answers would be engaging, witty and honest. And I also know that there are woman out there who ache to know the very answers to these questions, but may be too afraid to ask.
I think the most interesting part about writing this piece was the willingness of these men to participate, and their fearlessness to be exposed, with thoughtful and real answers, despite some of them requesting that I post their response anonymously.
So here’s to the 14 men, all chosen at random, from ages 25 – 66, who made me laugh, and also inspired my own heart to share their words on what makes a woman most beautiful:
What makes a woman beautiful besides physical attractiveness is love for oneself and others, confidence, self respect, as well as respect for others, empathy, curiosity and an open mind. And, independence too, but a willingness to depend on others.
For me, a beautiful woman is the combination of being physically attractive as well as someone amazing on the inside, one who is warm, caring, has gifted energy and enthusiasm. One who is intellectually curious, worldly, and one who wants to get more out of life. Also, a woman who wants to enjoy life’s journey with new experiences and new adventures. I also believe it’s beautiful when someone gives back to the world to make it a better place. And, most important, someone who makes me a better man
Mr. Addicted to Love:
Being a love addict makes a woman beautiful.
It’s really a personal thing. I don’t think there is any one answer. But definitely someone sweet with a “beautiful” personality. A woman who is kind, and considerate. As for physicality, I personally like women with longer hair.
I can’t think of one thing, it’s like asking what makes food tasty? For one woman it might be sex appeal, for another; cute. Sometimes it’s just an original haircut or a funky bracelet, but definitely some unique combination of style and sensibilities helps.
This is an easy one. A beautiful mind makes a beautiful woman. As we age, and our looks begin to fade, the exterior becomes less significant. Sure, I want a woman who takes pride in her appearance and dresses nicely, but looks only take you so far. If she has a creative mind the experiences we can share will be exhilarating and diverse. It also makes sex a lot more enjoyable. Also, if she has depth and intelligence, and I can learn things from her, it will make me a richer man.
I think all women are beautiful, just some carry it differently than others. I think confidence, eyes and the scent of a woman are the best combination.
Mr. Old Soul:
This one woman in particular comes to mind. I remember she had the most amazing smile and she was so smart. I learned so much from her. And I remember she had the smoothest hands. The most amazing thing that happened was I actually fell in love with her while we were making love. She read poetry to me, which made her even more beautiful. I wanted to marry her but it was such a long time ago. But it was the most beautiful experience ever.
A great booty. Enough said.
Mr. Older & Wiser:
While men are very visual, the truth is that what sustains a relationship long term is that you have to find a woman beautiful on the inside too. And for me that person has to be a deep down naturally good, and sweet woman. It can’t be forced, it is just who they are. And if that’s who they really are, it is what’s most attractive. This might be the hardest part of all relationships, knowing whether or not someone is real, or if they are covering up. I remember on our first date in the diner over coffee and pie, I removed all the veils and barriers to let her know who she was getting involved with right up front, and she did the same. Both of us knew pretty quickly who we were, and we accepted and loved each other, and that is the woman who you want to go to sleep with and wake up to every morning.
There are many dimensions to beauty, and some more subtle than others. Aesthetically pleasing features are what society, particularly the media, use to define beauty. While these attributes are certainly eye catching, and sometimes mesmerizing, they lack depth. What makes a woman truly vibrant is the radiance and charisma with which she approaches the world. Her presence alone can inspire those around her, filling life with energy, love and passion. To define the attributes that embody this deep sense of “beauty” is impossible. When encountered, however, it is undeniably palpable.
What makes a woman beautiful is a hard question to answer. If we’re talking about purely looks, it’s a simple answer. Maybe you can’t become a perfect 10, but maybe you can become a 6 or 7 and that’s a lot better than being a 1. The manner a woman conducts herself is also important for determining beauty. As far as personality there are several traits that can be deemed beautiful, namely being your own person. Many times females will adopt any trend or taste their boyfriend likes and assimilate it into their own life. Nothing is worse. Be your own person with your own interests, tastes, and ideas. And please, whatever you do, don’t complain about how lonely you are, or why you can’t find a good guy. These are all ways that translate to how you need validation. To be beautiful means you don’t have to seek validation.
Mr. I like it Au Natural:
Bravery, honesty, custom and ritual role defying honesty. So hot! This is why I am attracted to women who do nothing to alter their appearance. Really nothing. No make up, tweezing of eyebrows, dyeing of hair, high heels, push up bras. I find that approach purely unattractive. Be who you are. Be honest, and you have my attention.
A beautiful woman in my mind is the one who wants to hang out with you, not the one who needs to hang out. It’s confidence and thoughtfulness of others opinions and feelings.
The responses I received on this article were truly heart-warming. It made me realize that men are vulnerable, and they feel, just as much as women do. They just go about it in different ways. But they do love, wildly, passionately and fiercely.
I had some trepidation when I reached out to these men. I actually found it difficult to ask for their responses on my questions. It can be scary knowing we are about to expose someone else’s vulnerabilities, but that is the beauty of it too. There is a price to pay for being real, but you pay a much higher price when you try to be anything other than who you are.
I learned from these men that to be beautiful is to be real. And through these 14 amazing messages waiting in my inbox, I was reminded of all those precious little things that men value and appreciate which make us beautiful.
“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” ~ Coco Chanel
What to look for in a life partner:
Relephant bonus: Already have the attraction and the connection? Look out for these signs to spot a fundamentally good, genuine person:
Relephant Watch: The One Buddhist Red Flag to Look out for
Author: Shari Tischler
Editor: Renee Jahnke