May 15, 2015

One Thing I Hate About You.


I hate that you ask me stupid questions.

When I come through the front door geisha white with SPF 35 zinc oxide sunblock, sweat soaked from head to toe, in spandex cycling shorts, a reflective top and carrying my bike helmet, I have been cycling. You know I have been cycling. No need to ask.

When I enter the house, you don’t have to ask me if I am home. You can see me. I have not teleported my astral self from another location. An alien has not taken over my body and impersonated me in front of you—most likely. If an alien had, it would not admit to it anyway.

When I am in front of the cast iron wok on the stove, don’t ask me if I am cooking. You see the gas fire; you smell the garlic, onion and ginger seasoned vegetables I am steaming.

Observation is not conversation. You are not Jerry Seinfeld.

The reason smart people are smart is that they use their brains more and thus have stronger brain muscles. You are not stupid. Einstein didn’t have a bigger or better brain than you, he just used it more. Use your brain muscles.

We have a finite amount of time and energy in our lives; don’t make someone waste their precious energy answering questions you already know the answer to. Make it worth another person’s while if you want to engage with them, offer your full focus, interest and thoughtful talk. You are not a child and we are not all Mother Teresa.

I hate that you ask me stupid questions and are not smarter.

But most of all, what I hate about you is that you show me what I hate about me.

The Chinese say that when you point a finger at someone, you have three pointing back at you. Try it. Point your index finger at someone and you will notice that your middle, ring and little finger are pointing right back at you.

I know what I judge in you is what I judge in me and I cannot accept that you are not smarter because I cannot accept that I am not smarter. I wish I had gone to Harvard or Oxford and not dropped out of college. Twice. I think that I need to know bigger words and be more than I am. You are happy with where and who you are because you live from your heart.

The human heart—it sends more information to the brain than the brain does to the heart. In fact, according to the HeartMath Institute, the heart emits a magnetic impulse 5000 times stronger than the brain and the strongest electric impulse in the body—50 times stronger than the brain.

So I looked into my heart and saw that your questions are your efforts to connect and care; to love, relate and give attention. Then I didn’t just listen but heard your questions, for the very first time, and knew that they come from love.

And love is always deeply and eternally wise.


Author: Michelle Ayn Tessensohn

Editor: Alli Sarazen

Photo: Freeparking/Flickr

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