Before I get into my story, let’s get this question answered first: “What in the bleep is kundalini?”
“Kundalini, a Sanskrit word meaning ‘circular power’, is an individual’s basic evolutionary force. Each of us is born with some of this energy already flowing. It is not just a matter of using what we already have, but of awakening the much greater amount waiting in the kundalini reservoir located at the base of the spine.” Genevieve Lewis Paulson, “Kundalini and the Chakras: Evolution in this Lifetime”
Here’s my story.
I was silently meditating when it all started.
My body began to rock ever so slightly. And the rocking kept intensifying. Before I knew it, my entire spine was rocking in a wave. I tried to stop it by contracting my muscles with all the will power one could muster. That didn’t work. It only hurt.
So I relaxed and let go.
My clinical brain tried to explain the phenomenon but was rendered speechless. I re-focused the power of my awareness on my breath and on the wave in my spine.
Intense heat. It started out at the bottom of my spine but before long, moved up with the wave. I felt like a furnace. My abdominals contracted forcefully and my torso bent forward over my crossed legs. My face was almost touching the floor. It didn’t hurt at first but the contractions kept getting stronger and stronger. They eventually started to cause pain.
It felt like something had taken over my body. I began to feel fear but there was a voice that whispered deep within: “Everything is okay.”
Without knowing it, I was experiencing a kundalini awakening.
When the wave and heat finally subsided, I opened my eyes.
My entire world had just changed.
Everything looked different. Intense colors, sounds of birds, the blue sky above. Everything in my environment seemed more alive. “Intense”…that’s the word that best described my new reality.
It felt like I was seeing the world with someone else’s eyes.
The days after my kundalini awakening were tremendously difficult. Intense physical pain, suicidal thoughts, violent past life memories, a rollercoaster of emotions. Thankfully, I had gone online and researched more about my experience.
I learned that I was living through a “spontaneous” kundalini awakening.
As I perused various websites and read multiple articles, I could sense a certain narrative around the phenomenon of kundalini awakenings. According to the experts, one must be very careful not to “force” kundalini to rise because it can cause severe problems…including insanity and death.
This narrative caused discomfort in me. It smelled of a collective consciousness based on fear, not love. So I stopped reading articles about kundalini and decided to let the serpent energy (as she is known) do her job.
I was going to write my own kundalini narrative: one that fit in better with the spiritual lessons I had been absorbing in my own life.
Everything is divinely timed. In other words, everything occurs at the perfect time—not one minute too soon or one minute too late.
We are a part of an intricate, beautiful, and infinite web of life. And this web works on its own. It weaves even when we’re not consciously aware of it. Put another way: life has a life of its own.
We participate in the web and we are the web. We are creation and creators. Even though we are powerful beyond measure, there is still a natural flow to life that we cannot violate.
The wisdom of the universe is infinite. Divine intelligence is infinite. And I may be Source at my core, but there is one thing I have in this dimension that filters my divinity: mind or ego.
The ego is a wonderful tool but it is limited. Bottom line: the universe always knows more than our minds do. Simple as that.
These three profound spiritual lessons just didn’t fit in with the kundalini narrative I was reading about online.
When people say that it’s dangerous to “force” a kundalini awakening, they are assuming she can be awoken against her will. And to be honest, that sounds a tad arrogant to me.
If everything really is divinely ordered, if the universe really is perfect, if the web of life is wise and complex beyond our imaginations, then can we really say we can “force” the central creating energy (kundalini) of it all to wake up?
To me, the answer to this question was easy and led quickly to another conclusion:
There is no such thing as spontaneous or forced kundalini awakenings.
Kundalini awoke in me at exactly the perfect time, in the perfect manner. And I feel that is always the case.
Kundalini rises in us when our souls are ready. I call this the Soul-Kundalini Partnership.
Kundalini awakenings are never about what the mind wants. They are always about what our souls want, in collaboration with the universe.
I’ve had many people ask if I could help awaken their kundalinis.
“I’m ready,” they say. And my answer is always the same: “The serpent energy in you will awaken if it is part of your path in this life. And she will awaken with or without help.”
This is the most honest answer I can give. I think it helps bring the phenomenon of kundalini awakening out of the prism of the mind and into the prism of the soul.
Kundalini awakening should never be a goal we set with our minds. This will only lead to frustration and anger. That is not to say that people cannot be helped. I certainly was and am very thankful for the love and support I received during the tumultuous weeks following my kundalini awakening.
We can give each other love, help, and support if/when a Soul-Kundalini Partnership is activated.
Kundalini awakenings can be ecstatic, blissful. But they can also be extremely difficult. Mine was.
But we can rest assured of one thing:
Our Soul-Kundalini partnership is only activated when we are ready.
That awakening always comes for the greater good of all, with unconditional love.
Author: Christina Lopes
Editor: Renée Picard
Image: alenka_getman at Flickr