June 26, 2015

Dear Men: This is What Women Want.

Flickr/MCAD Library: https://www.flickr.com/photos/69184488@N06/8091034120/in/photolist-djYEyh-bUKbFt-55ykRm-bUrYoJ-8646g8-o5FeUq-gaY8nx-czrAk1-9xeV94-mQpyq2-bBN3o1-cWpqoA-gEheHs-gx7Xq7-5yYNPT-g936Mp-7FHygt-4h73M-bgXM5t-6by9tr-8o4Jc7-dsn4h4-rU5iY-8o1yWc-8o1yDz-h68nnw-uiQZpf-djYCTt-55JuLv-mkYhh8-cWoV1u-5qyExK-Ep71R-bXT4Yq-hjHDks-5DKJun-n4G17G-mvcTUv-hjHgAX-hjJAbt-hjHEPu-hjJDqp-hjHp5z-acBHPR-hjHFU7-hjH9jc-hjHdeX-hjHFrS-h68jmU-nhPzqY

It is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Though we all live on one planet, the nature of men and women is different.

Our destiny is to love, to connect, to build partnership and to reproduce more earthlings. For this to happen, every kind must understand the nature of the other and connect accordingly.

When a partnership comes to an end, there is always someone who failed to understand the other. This is why most relationships end on bad terms, fighting or misunderstanding.

Today, I’m covering the part about men misunderstanding women.

Memes have been created on the internet, poking fun at the enormity of the book How to Understand Women. They make jokes about how women are demanding and how often we nag. And funnily, how we should keep our mouths shut and make our man a sandwich.

Dear men, we are as simple as you. Don’t just impress us the first couple of months, then start acting like jerks once “you have us.”

Below is the one and only list that does not include being adored or being cuddled (we want things deeper than this):

Listen actively.

I cannot put enough stress on that one. (I did put it first on the list though.)

Men, when we talk to you, we are not looking for an advice or solution. Just like you don’t listen up on your planet, on our planet, we like to talk.

Not only we love to talk, but also we love to be listened to—flawlessly. When I say “flawlessly,” I particularly mean giving “your all” to our words—not just your ears.

Don’t watch TV, chat on Facebook, play video games or work when we’re talking. Give us your full attention and we will treasure you as a good listening partner.

Quality time.

After a while—when they move in together, get married or even date for a long time—most couples start taking their “quality time” for granted.

Quality time means time for just the woman and the man—without friends, without acquaintances, outside the house and away from the places they both know.

Men, you can live with us under one roof, yet we will still feel that there is something missing. When you don’t give us your time, we will start to look “naggy,” and you will start calling us “demanding”.

If you want us to give you your space, give us your time first.

Win our trust.

The most fundamental element in any relationship is trust. If we can’t trust the other, we will lead a very complicated partnership based on doubt and problems.

To learn how to trust you is something between your very own hands. You are the one who can let us trust you and you are the one who will let us lose that trust.

To win that trust however, you should know a couple of rules. Never, ever, bring up the past. We don’t want to know how you made love to your ex, what sex position you excelled at with her or the infection she got from the threesome you two had together.

We don’t want to know about the girls who jump on you at parties when we are not with you. We know you’re hot but you don’t have to prove it.

Don’t joke about wanting other women or craving your coworker’s tight boobs. If you’re trying to see where we stand with you, test the waters in different ways.

Get to know us.

Women are books with endless chapters and if men don’t try to open and read every single chapter, most likely they will push us away or drive us to cheating.

Men cheat physically, women cheat emotionally. If men aren’t physically satisfied with their partner, they will look outside for sex.

However, if a woman isn’t mentally satisfied, she will look outside and cheat with a man who wants to listen to her and get to know her.

Know what we like, what we dislike, our plans and our dreams. Discover the roots of our joy and the roots of our pain. Know who our favorite author is, favorite book and favorite movie.

Dig deep, and we promise you will find treasures.

Stay.

Women don’t remember the men who loved them and left—they remember the men who love them and stay.

The greatest gift a man can give to his woman is staying. A man who is willing to fix anything that goes wrong is a man who deserves a medal.

If you stay, you will look as hot as any muscled, macho guy out there.

This list can grow endless—but listening, giving us time and attention, winning our trust, getting to know us and staying are major keys to keep a woman loving her man.

At the end of the day, love isn’t about emotions. It isn’t about the sex or the cuddling, and most importantly, it isn’t about sweet words.

Love is a way of living. Live it well.

.

Relephant:

How to Love Me: A Step by Step Guide.

Author: Elyane Youssef 

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

Photo: Flickr/MCAD Library

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