How to Attract a Conscious/Evolved Man.


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The term conscious or evolved (awakened) man is used to describe a man who is fully aware of his thoughts, feelings, perceptions, beliefs, opinions and someone who stands elegantly in his own truth and is not afraid to acknowledge and express the depths of who he is.

A conscious man is neither afraid of his powerful masculine or feminine energy and he is constantly working to find the balance within the two.

A conscious man is aware that his masculine energy provides him with decisiveness, analytical thinking, assertiveness and pushes him to strive, and that his feminine side provides him with patience, an open heart, loving, nurturing and inner calm.

Conscious men can appear to be elusive and many women seem to attract the same types of men over and over, repeating the same mistakes, and being presented with the same lessons time and again.

The reason for this is that women can turn a blind eye to a conscious man as they are afraid that they may not live up to the same standards a conscious man lives to, or it may be that some women aren’t fully aware of how to recognise a conscious man when they meet one.

Due to a conscious man standing strong in his own truth, he can make others feel as though they have come face to face with all of their insecurities. It can feel as though the conscious man holds out a mirror so that other people see their reflections clearly and vividly.

If we do not have high self-esteem or self-worth these reflections can tempt us to run and hide from our problems rather than facing up to them and doing the necessary work and making changes for personal growth.

To be able to recognise a conscious man easily, these are a few of the most common traits:

Honours the divine Goddess within the female.

Someone who takes control and responsibility for his own life.

A man who has high levels of integrity.

A conscious man will be interested in a woman who is natural.

Creates a safe space for communication.

True to his word.

Consistent, especially through difficult times.

He is not afraid of criticism.

Comfortable in his own skin.

Accepts his faults and faces up to mistakes.

He has self-love, self-worth and high self-esteem.

Listens fully and communicates clearly and honestly.

Not co-dependent.

Does not have the need or desire to control his relationship or any other person.

He has a strong masculine spirit.

In touch with his feminine side.

Does not avoid conflict.

Honest, open, loyal and trustworthy.

Connects fully and makes his partner feel unique.

Cares deeply about the planet and all of its inhabitants.

Knows how to pleasure a woman sexually without thinking of his needs.

On a journey constantly growing and learning.

A conscious man will take care of his emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health and he will likely be attracted to a person who does the same.

To to attract a conscious man it is essential to do the vital inner work needed to ensure there is progression towards fully loving ourselves and being the best version of who we are so we reach our highest potential.

A conscious man is intrigued by a woman who is comfortable to be her complete authentic, genuine self. Flaws, imperfections and the shadow self will not matter to a man who is conscious. He would rather a woman shows up entirely as she is, accepting that she is on a journey of progression, rather than trying to hide or mask herself and be someone who she is not.

The kind of woman that doesn’t give a f*ck about what people think about her is who a conscious man will find most attractive. One who won’t change, blend or compromise her self to suit or conform to societies norms or expectations. The conscious male will be attracted to a woman who sets her own guidelines, standards and moral codes. Just knowing that she is true to herself, honours herself and those around her is what a conscious man finds intoxicating and magnetising.

A conscious man won’t want a woman who commits herself to making him happy; he wants someone whose primary focus is making her self happy. He knows that no other person is responsible for his happiness other than himself. A conscious man adores being in the company of, or connected to, a woman who is radiant from the core, who is free-spirited and who sets out on adventures to explore her dreams and fantasies.

A conscious man will not criticize or put down a woman in any way for being her true, authentic self. He accepts a woman as she is and does not expect her to be full of joy at all times. A conscious man fully understands that life will offer every shade and knows that everyone has inner demons to work through.

There is a level of peace and inner calm with a conscious man and he will very rarely lose self-control or to allow his emotions to get the better of himself. He will not appreciate if someone tries to deliberately wind him up or push him to see if they can cause a reaction.

There will be no game playing with a conscious man—he will spot this type of manipulating behaviour immediately. He has no time for drama or for high maintenance people, he wants people around him that are not afraid to speak their truth, do not need to be chased and do not use trickery to gain attention.

A conscious man wants to be around a woman who is not going to judge him for being truly himself and likewise, he will not do the same in return. He wants to be free to sample all that life offers, make mistakes, learn from them and begin anew everyday.

The conscious man has high integrity and good morals and wants a female who can recognise this so that she will trust him on his path without feeling insecure or doubtful of his actions. He is a work of progression, not perfection and sees others the same and he accepts he will fall many times. However hard he hits the ground, he will get back up stronger and wiser every time. He will not appreciate someone who berates him for being true and aligning with his authentic self.

Although a conscious man wants to be accepted for who he is, he also wants to be around a woman who is not afraid to call him out on his bullsh*t. When a conscious man is not being genuine, is living within his ego or is not authentic, he will appreciate being told and also being held accountable for it. He respects a woman who pushes him to achieve his highest potential, but only when a woman does this from a place of love and not from fears or insecurities.

The conscious man knows that the right relationship will help his evolution, just as he is there to assist the female through hers and he wants someone around him where their dual focus is on growth and journeying through life side by side, whilst both on their individual paths.

When in a relationship with a conscious man it is important to leave the past firmly behind and exist in the present moment. Holding on to heavy baggage or loves now gone will prevent the relationship from deepening and a conscious man will be very aware that barriers and walls are present. The past has now passed and the only place to exist is fully in the present moment, embracing the exhilarating sensations that love, adventure and life have to offer.

Unresolved or unhealed painful memories give off a powerful negative energy and it is essential that these wounds are acknowledged and worked on. When the work is done, rather than attracting the same types of energy and relationships that brought the onslaught of old traumatic patterns, new energy and love will radiate, which will then attract a similar vibration to that which is send out.

In a relationship with a conscious man there will be no need to focus on the superficial aspects of our lives. The conscious man is interested and intrigued by what lies deep down within our souls and what is happening within our minds. It is important to stop worrying about outer appearances and judging whether we are good enough, pretty enough or worthy of attention or admiration from anyone. The most important opinion is how a woman sees and thinks about herself and her ability to accept herself entirely as she is—that is the attitude that attracts the right type of person.

Women who can fully accept themselves and also who worship and honour their inner Goddess will radiate an abundance of energy and sensuality that conscious men find very intriguing and attractive.

The conscious man has a powerful sexual energy, however, he will not use it to his advantage to seduce or gain affection or advances of women. He knows exactly how to respect and honour a woman and admires someone who also is aware of her magnetising energy. Together they will be in a place to cherish and explore the powerful, explosive and ultimately healing benefits their energetically charged connection delivers.

For any woman that wants to attract a conscious male into their lives, they must first let go of everything they have known from past relationships: all the hurt, pain and mistrust and recognise the full qualities a conscious male possesses.

A masculine warrior and a feminine Goddess can together create a harmonious, soul bonding and life-altering partnership that will be a sacred commitment to worshiping each others’ paths and journeys together, yet entirely separately as they each stand firm and live authentically in their own truth.

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ~ C.G. Jung



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Author: Alex Myles

Editor: Travis May

Images: Flickr/Renaud Camus


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Alex Myles

Alex Myles is a qualified yoga and Tibetan meditation teacher, Reiki Master, spiritual coach and also the author of An Empath, a newly published book that explains various aspects of existing as a highly sensitive person. The book focuses on managing emotions, energy and relationships, particularly the toxic ones that many empaths are drawn into. Her greatest loves are books, poetry, writing and philosophy. She is a curious, inquisitive, deep thinking, intensely feeling, otherworldly intuitive being who lives for signs, synchronicities and serendipities. Inspired and influenced by Carl Jung, Nikola Tesla, Anaïs Nin and Paulo Coelho, she has a deep yearning to discover many of the answers that seem to have been hidden or forgotten in today’s world. Alex's bestselling book, An Empath, is on sale now for only $1.99! Connect with her on Facebook and join Alex’s Facebook group for empaths and highly sensitive people.


39 Responses to “How to Attract a Conscious/Evolved Man.”

  1. Dave80501 says:

    Amazing writing and description of what many of us here on this planet aspire to achieve. Life's a journey however and enlightenment a path. Men reading this should take caution to not measure yourself by the description of the destination and simply be joyous if know you are on the correct path and forging ahead however challenging.

  2. Max says:

    Amazing, Alex! While it is not for me to say I embody the essence and character of a conscious man, I would like to think I can relate enough to know that you capture his world and being perfectly. I would be interested in hearing your perspective on the difficulties a conscious man must face in knowing that his very nature often pushes lovers away, not because they want to, but as you say, because they’re afraid they might not live up to the same standards and/or he reflects an image of themselves that they’re not ready to see. Perhaps the patience and faith required of a conscious man in his pursuit of a worthy lover is another story worth telling…

  3. You just described my dream man. Authenticity is the energetic tentacle of compatibility to me, so to speak. Up until months ago, however, I was a thinly-veiled facade of such. I’d give just enough “truth” to seem balls-out real but shamefully, I would look for validation anywhere and everywhere. Funny how that changes so fast. I find myself entirely in agreement with you now! Yet, I’m also aware that such a man (or woman of the exact same level of consciousness) may not exist. Surely even Gandhi had some low moments of self-questioning in a bathroom or below glimmering stars in the quiet silence of the early morning? No? I’m telling myself so, anyway. I love your articulation and such prolific ease describing emotional needs/desires and rationally explaining them. Bravo. Thanks for the write. I will not hold my breath, but I will hold out hope for a derivation of such a man, and more importantly, hope that I can continue to grow to be as open, loving and patient as I dream of being. (Fingers-crossed!)

  4. Alex:

    Brilliant and could have been written by my own heart. This type of relationship is what I desire and what I write about for Elephant Journal as well. It occurs to me that I want to embody those same qualities for a partner. We attract what we are.

    This is the aspect I am working with now.

    “For any woman that wants to attract a conscious male into their lives, they must first let go of everything they have known from past relationships: all the hurt, pain and mistrust and recognise the full qualities a conscious male possesses.”

    Bless you, soul friend for your exquisite expression,


  5. Melilot says:

    I would like to meet a man like this.. even though it would mean taking a hard look at myself.. I just don't believe they exist around here.

  6. Emily Moran says:

    just need to say… there is no such thing as an unnatural woman. i get where you are coming from, but i feel like that is an unintentionally divisive/anti-feminist statement.

  7. Nayeli Rose says:

    "A conscious man won’t want a woman who commits herself to making him happy; he wants someone whose primary focus is making her self happy. "

    • Nick says:

      Lol. Funny to see so many people desiring conscious man/woman. I guess i have been living the “conscious relationship” with my wife since we started going out 13 years ago now. Im 31 yrs old, she’s 30. Our lives reflect very well the author’s description. Our motto is: i am responsible for my own happiness, not u. We come together for mutual love, not for happiness. This is a big distiction. Love is part or happiness not the other way around. For example, if i’m having a fit, its my problem not yours. We follow our personal interest and we do not force the other to do things that would put themselves out of personal integrity or authenticity with themselves. Like if she wants to go to her friends and i dont, i simply let her go – both of us WITHOUT expecatations or remorse. If that makes her happy, then she goes. If it makes me happy to stay home, then i stay and we respect that. If i expect her to do something (stay or come with me, or do choirs, or anything i might have expectations for) that is still my problem. We both trust each other on our accountability and responsibility to do our own choirs/tasks and if our expectations are different (for example, do choirs now vs later) then that expectation is the persons problem since ultimately we trust the choir/task/anything else will get done without resentment to the other. This has been the basis for us never to feel bad about the other (because it’s not their fault in the first place) but also to never really having any fights or disputes. We do have opinions but we both know that’s okay to disagree, again without remorse or resentment.

      Ok, here’s how to gain consciousness:

      – read Power vs Force by David R. Hawkins

      – attend Millionnaire Mind Intensive 3 day program and sign up for Warrior Camp (guy energy) and Wizard camp (woman energy) to get ride of a lot of emotional baggage.

      After those two tasks i can assure you, if u seek a man or woman as described in the author’s text, you will. Because you will be that yourself. ;0) Like attracts like.

      Happy cleansing.

  8. Greg says:

    Well put, except "Honours the divine Goddess within the female."??? come on, so in order to be all that you wrote one must believe in the supernatural? what is divine goddess anyway? rediculous

  9. Scarlet Amor says:

    And once you meet a man like this, you better be scared sh*tless! There is another side to this coin, which means women also need to set it up too.

  10. Marc says:

    Overall not a bad article…some of your points here beg question though…the one that's the loudest for me is second to the last…"He knows how to please a woman sexually without thinking of his own needs" ???? What ? HELLO !!…so what I get from that is that a "evolved" man should be the codependent sex slave of his "goddess" deriving his pleasure simply from her pleasure ???? Dear Alex…no wonder so many woman can't find this man !!!

    • Tina says:

      Of course it's not about giving pleasure without receiving for eternity. It's about being capable of concentrating on another person's pleasure in a self-less way, in a given moment.

    • Robert says:

      Yea, this man doesn't exist unless he's a slave that lives under the stairs.. Which, if it's for sex then it's good work..if you can get it..

  11. catnipkiss says:

    I am loving the comments 🙂 I am striving to be the kind of woman you described. I am only "sort of" there. Can I just apply for a semi-conscious man? – Alexa Maxwell

  12. Kaltes and Friends says:

    Can a man please use his analytical thinking to tell me if I am being hysterical,
    I am a women who just lost her inner calm.

  13. Jinny says:

    I love this writing thank you – I have recently stopped attracting men from my old conditioning and new men are presenting themselves …. "Due to a conscious man standing strong in his own truth, he can make others feel as though they have come face to face with all of their insecurities. It can feel as though the conscious man holds out a mirror so that other people see their reflections clearly and vividly." This is how I feel around some people – does the same apply to women? As I become more self-aware and grounded in who I am I feel as if I'm pushing buttons by just being there. I would greatly value your thoughts if you have time. Jinny x

  14. Mark says:

    My wife and I have been together 32 years, give or take. In that time we have both changed so much it blows my mind to consider. Point is, nothing is stagnant, everything, including people, are impermanent in body and mind. So, a person who's not very conscious today could be a humble guru in a few years. It's not as likely that a virtual guru today could go back to a sociopathic slug in the future but, nothing's off the table. I know people who, 30 years ago were total assholes. Today they are giving, wonderful, amazing people. Consciousness is an ever moving stream for those of us in the third dimension. My definition of a conscious person is one who is fully present in the eternal now. This presence brings clarity in all things.

  15. Josh says:

    Is there an article on attracting a conscious/evolved woman?

  16. Robert says:

    I think it is very interesting that a man is almost always referred to as a "masculine warrior' but women get called Goddesses. Hmmm…sorry ladies, we are Gods and you are Goddesses. I am not just a warrior, nor are you just a a single anything. If you are looking for an authentic Man, its best to start without the predefined category of warrior and perhaps consider broadening the experience all the way to seeing the God within a man. When a God and Goddess come together, it is two wholes making a greater whole. Don't keep me caged in your mind as a 'warrior,' we will both suffer there….

  17. Nina says:

    Never met a man like this!?!?!?

  18. John says:

    Would love to read an article about "How to Attract a Conscious Evolved Woman", too! THANK YOU. <3 ~John

  19. lal says:

    how sad that you describe caring as feminine, and decisiveness, striving, confidence as masculine.
    Now I am not saying that it is not true that those qualities are more prevalent in the gendrer you say (for cultural reasons mainly)
    However women when they take a decision, are resolute with it, when they strive about a goal, are not acting in a manly way! I mean, they are not less feminine for doing that. It is not alien to their main identity.
    We should not associate those extremely important virtues to a group of people. It is not better than to say that striving is a german quality and that americans who strive act german.
    It is deeply human, essential to ourselves not to our gender.

  20. Liz says:

    How does one because a conscious man?, especially if they are not aware of what it is? How do I propose this way of being (like negotiating a place to eat or movie to watch?), without it seeming hurtful?

  21. Tam says:

    And so there’s no passion, no commitment and no bonding. You cannot become one with this type of man and will be miserable in this relationship.

  22. J. Smith says:

    The articles on Elephant Journal, this one included, are largely so disappointing. I come here expecting to hear good things… the titles promise insight and enlightenment. I find weak writing, weaker ideas and a lot of nothingness. What gives?

    • elephantjournal says:

      Hi J. Smith, Thanks for your comments and to some extent I agree. Not all of our articles are equally substantial, but all serve a purpose. You'll find many folks connect with an article you may hate. We are reader submitted and we have a huge collection of voices on our site. Some articles carry more weight than others. Don't be discouraged. If you're looking for some solid and insightful articles on all things "enlightenment," I'd recommend Benjamin Riggs or Daniel Scharpenburg in particular, amongst others I can't recall by name right now. Eric Klein is also great. We have so many to choose from it'd be a shame if you were to judge us on a few you've found disappointing. ~ Khara

  23. Bill says:

    if a man had every quality on this list, where could there possibly be room to grow? This conscious man is the perfect specimen already. Part of what makes a relationship is two imperfect people who compliment each other and make up for each other’s faults. Like maybe the man has most of these qualities but maybe he isn’t the most confident in his skin, or he doesn’t accept every single challenge that comes his way, then the woman can help with that. But with no weaknesses, faults or insecurities, this conscious man is perfect on his own. His only fault may be that he is physically incapable of fellating himself. Which is where a woman will come in, but again, is he is otherwise physically and spiritually perfect, he can get that and sex from literally anywhere. Why would he choose monogamy? Or anything less than an absolutely perfect woman. If this man ever even spoke to an attractive woman, this would spark jealousy in his woman. (assuming this conscious man isn’t also gay)

  24. anng says:

    Never seen a consious man in my life but many unconscious, drunk, punch, wasted….do they really exist I mean???



  26. JC Jaress says:

    Want a conscious man? Be an equally conscious woman. So simple.

  27. Chris says:

    Here, too much of what constitutes the “most common traits” of a “conscious man” is as written by a woman. That’s like men legislating what a woman can do with her body. I think much of the traits in this article is projection of the authors desires, not the true attributes of a conscious man.

  28. Chris says:

    Alex, thank you for writing this. It was just what I needed to hear – a reminder that I am on the right course. Whether that statement of what conscious man is can ever be fully achieved I am uncertain, but it is certainly the man I strive to be, and it is great to hear that from a woman's perspective.

  29. aideznousaaider says:

    One thing I really think we should start consider as conscious thinking is not identifying certain traits such as assertiveness, decisiveness etc. as masculine, and open hearted, caring etc. as feminine. Both genders have both sides. I think giving certain personality traits gender recognition is what prevents people from feeling safe to be open with this particular trait. If a man is open hearted, it does not mean he is ultra feminine, it means he is open hearted. It's like women who are good leaders are often labelled as being "too bossy" or "too manly," it's debilitating for both genders to feel they can be all things and emotions if it is gender based.

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