The Fairy Tale Myth that Robs us of Love.


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fairy tale princess and frog

Writers such as Shakespeare and the Brothers Grimm have tainted it for most of us women over the past few hundred years.

Tales of forbidden love, passionate yearning and noble heroes and heroines are forever etched in our psyches. We knowingly and often unwittingly seek out our own “prince charming” in order to fulfill some crazy notion of what true love is supposed to be. Because of these tales, we have intentionally set out to fall in love. Isn’t that quite the paradox? We don’t fall in love; we choose to love and to allow ourselves the ecstasy of being loved in return.

As small children we are introduced to stories of poor little cinder girls rescued from the wretches by handsome royals and valiant men of honor awakening us from slumber with passionate kisses after combating fire breathing dragons and evil witches. Oh, and don’t get me started on the forbidden love of Romeo and Juliet, a travesty in which teenage lovers end up committing suicide rather than facing the possibility of living apart. And on the token of commitment, isn’t that the essential component of a loving relationship? A strong and healthy relationship requires two people committed to one another and meaning it. That is the truest requirement for a much deeper and meaningful example of a love story.

However intriguing stories like fairy tales may be, they are almost completely unrealistic. No wonder the divorce rate is so high these days; too many Princes started farting on Cinderella. Tristan stopped sending flowers to Isolde; Snow White had an affair with Dopey because Prince Charming spent too much time at work.

Disney finally realized what an injustice they had done to society and created the animated movie “Frozen”, in which the Prince wasn’t so charming. For once, the Princess finally took her head out of her own ass long enough to actually see him for what he was: a man, an imperfect, infuriating, self-centered being with ulterior motives.

I’m not saying that good men aren’t available. I am strongly stating that the misconception that all women need to have the fairy tale life by means of a rescuing man is archaic.

A man can’t save you, women. You have to save yourselves.

You have to be willing to sit in your loneliness and do the work to heal your own broken psyche.

You have to find the courage to shake loose all that binds your own divine soul.

Before you can truly understand the value of being loved by another, you must begin with truly loving and honoring yourself.

It’s a sentimental thought to have a man carry you across the threshold to solace, confidence, romantic bliss and happy endings. The truth is, however, that you have to discover, embrace and own your own wondrous and revered self. It takes using your own strong legs to walk over glass when the Cinderella slippers have shattered beneath your feet. Trust me, after two divorces and now living what I consider the fairy tale love story, you have to first know and respect the delicious secrets of the self-assured woman you are, in order to clearly express what you need to feel valued and loved by your lover. Hear me when I say that desire does not necessarily equate to value when a man is passionately expressing his undying love for you.

Tina Turner pinpointed our dilemma in her album, Wildest Dreams. The lyrics in her song, “What’s Love Got to do With It” speak volumes if only we pay better attention. What’s love got to do with it….what’s love but a second hand emotion? What’s love but a sweet old fashion notion….Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

To set the record straight, love has everything to do with it. Love for ourselves. Love that demands to be reciprocated because we know we are willing to give everything and we want everything in return. Love that is willing to speak up and say, “I need more attention. I deserve respect and deep affection. I’m not going to settle for anything less.” The sweet old fashioned notion demands to be rewritten as one that doesn’t set itself up as a repeatedly broken heart that stems from an insecure woman with a fancy notion of what love is supposed to look and feel like.

It’s high time that we begin writing new fairy tales. It’s time for us to be pioneers of a new frontier for women across the globe. It’s time to be women who do not shrink before our men or lose ourselves in our lovers. It’s time to be women who know our value, acknowledge what we bring to the relationship, understand that we are passionate, emotional creatures and demand to be recognized and treated as such. Love stories need not end as unrequited love.

We need to stop selling our souls for the high price of living a lowly fairy tale.


Author: Mishi McCoy

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock & Caroline Beaton

Image: Google images for reuse



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Mishi McCoy

Mishi McCoy is a committed wife, mother of three children and grandmother of eight grandchildren. She is an Intuitive, Wholistic and Metaphysical Counselor, Author, Minister and Speaker who facilitates personal growth, health, and spiritual wellness. As a pragmatic yet visionary author and spiritual facilitator, her passion is the Body, Mind & Spirit connection. Of utmost importance to her work is a lifetime of extensive and diverse spiritual study, with a consistent focus on spiritual evolution, ascension and psychological growth. She graduated from the Institute of Integrative Health in 2004 with focus on Massage and Bodywork Therapy, a Master Level Reiki certification and trained Shaman. In 2011, Mishi authored a book of memoirs “The Lovely Knowing”. Read more about Mishi’s visionary experience and intuition here.
Connect with Mishi on Facebook or, to learn more about her, visit her blog.


12 Responses to “The Fairy Tale Myth that Robs us of Love.”

  1. Sue Price says:

    This article truly nails the fact that women and men alike need to reevaluate their notions of love and committment. This is a well written article and one I have returned to read over the last few months.

  2. Trish says:

    I don't typically read a lot of articles. This one is worthy of reading several times.

  3. Austin Jackson says:


  4. Brittany Burnette says:

    I consider myself extremely fortunate that Mishi is my mother. It is through her example that I have become an empowered woman. I will teach my daughter the same truths and wisdom that my mother taught me. It is definitely time for all women to rise as pioneers of a new frontier and stand in our own power. I am unable to express how proud I am of my mother’s courage, tenacity, passion, compassion and wisdom. She walks her talk and her life is one that has influenced many.

  5. Brittany Burnette says:

    How is it possible for this article to have 282 shares and 39 views? This article had well over 3,000 views this past week end. I hope this issue is resolved and the proper credit is given.

    • elephantjournal says:

      Hey Brittany,
      No cause for concern! We're having some issues with our view counts showing up properly, but our web team is aware of this problem and (no exaggeration) working around the clock to remedy it. In the meantime, Google never loses views (thank goodness for the cloud!) so when the issue is resolved, accurate view counts will be reflected and due credit given. 🙂
      Les Eleditors

  6. Roger McCoy says:

    My wife, Mishi writes on a daily basis. It is one of her many passions. She is a Gemini and I believe her to be a better speaker than writer because her thoughts pour forth so rapidly that to speak rather than write, no thought escapes her beautiful mind is lost. That is not to say her writing is lacking. I’m simply stating an observation. Of the thousands of poems, prose, articles, blog posts, Facebook posts and created memes, along with her published book, this article is by far one of my favorites. When she spills her heart and guts to relay the message of “What’s love got to do with it” and elaborates on women using their natural force of voice through brutal honesty, she drives the point home. As a man, I say with all honesty that I live for my wife. I know her well. I’m a good listener and attentive to her needs, BUT I am indeed appreciative that she has no hesitancy to let me know exactly how she feels, thinks and plans to response to any given situation. Even better, she keeps me aware of how and what she needs from me. She leaves that same invitation open for me to come to her. This is an article that presents truth, wisdom, humor and most importantly a new approach in love stories in which we dispose if the outdated social mythologies that have failed us severely. My hat off to Mishi for this well written expression. I hope it gets shared more and receives the attention it deserves for those seeking a new perspective on how to have the fairy tale love story. – Roger McCoy
    #MishiMcCoysRevisedFairyTale #LoveHasEverythingToDoWithIt

  7. Roger McCoy says:

    I didn’t realize I had submitted my comments twice. I edited my final comment for submission. The first comment was a rough draft that I request not be published. As you see, I am a musician, not a savvy wordsmith like my wife.

  8. Kylie Conard says:

    This article, along with Mishi McCoys other writings, show great wisdom and grace. You can tell every word was wrote with dedication and love. I enjoy reading her books and short stories over and over. Mishi you have a great heart and you are a wonderful writer!

  9. Lori Harmon says:

    Love following Mishi’s work. She’s a magnificent writer. Thank you soooooo much!

  10. Beverly Loving says:

    Mishi McCoy has such a brilliant way of exposing the truth to her audience. Her creative processes are phenomenally matched by her knowledge, wisdom, experience and her gift of Divine intuition. I will continue to come back to this most wonderful read.

  11. J.L.Hipps says:

    I have known Mishi for 25 years. True to her nature, she has expressed herself frankly, candidly and passionately. This is a great article and one I agree with. If there are pioneers of a new frontier, I have no doubt that she is a forerunner and a committed, fiery, and exemplary leader at best. Excellent writing and timely content.

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