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Our hearts beat approximately 40 million times per year through our circulatory system that is around 60 thousand miles in length—totaling more than two times the circumference of the earth.
We have more than 125 trillion synapses in our cerebral cortex—roughly equal to the number of stars in 1,500 Milky Way Galaxies.
How did I heal my anxiety without drugs?
First by honoring the truth that our bodies and minds are extraordinary beyond measure. This was the perspective I took when acidic adrenaline burned through my veins and irrational thoughts would take me over.
I didn’t listen to the mainstream thought that said something was wrong with me or that I was weak.
I respected the wisdom and power of my body enough to listen to her.
And what she had to say was more beautiful and truthful than anything I could have imagined.
How I changed my life was not just understanding the origins of my symptoms, which were directly connected to growing up with alcoholism and at times outbursts of anger—what changed my life was how I healed my stress directly because of this. (For other common stress linked to anxiety check out the article I shared a few months back.)
I had and still have deeply loving parents who would do absolutely anything for me—but alcoholism is alcoholism—stress is stress. (And if you’ve ever been around kids you quickly notice they can overact to the smallest things—so it is not hard to image how real stress can impact a developing consciousness.)
For me, in anticipation and to protect myself for when something bad might happen, my nervous system adapted to my environment by becoming highly sensitive in order to pick up on the most subtle shifts of tension in the air. I could sense thoughts and moods before signs of aggravation appeared and even feel a crisis from miles away.
As a child this served me well; however, as an adult in the 21st century my sensitivity to my environment and others emotions (equalled by my deep sense of responsibility to fix and make everything okay)—quickly became overwhelming and also an impossible way to live.
Yet discovering all of this wasn’t enough to resolve my anxiety.
I had to go much deeper.
I had to ask and answer in full:
How did growing up around suffering and being in fear serve me? How was it a hidden blessing and 100 percent purposeful to me on a Soul level?
Viktor Frankl an eminent teacher and holocaust survivor once said:
“Life holds a potential meaning under any conditions, even the most miserable ones…in some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning. What man needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
My pain and fear were real, but what I didn’t understand as a child was that they were also the direct makings of my life’s calling—or the greater love and wisdom waiting to be fulfilled by me.
My pain was not only bad, it was equally the fuel that ignited me to dive deeply into the healing arts to find life-changing solutions to debilitating stress, as well as to continuously stay inspired doing what I love for the past 15 years learning new innovative methods for healing our mind, body and spirit. And because I grew up around suffering, I’ve felt a deep connection to the suffering in the world and I am dedicated to making a difference to philanthropic causes I care about in my lifetime. My pain was also the seed of inspiration in my writings—sharing lyrical stories to kids that in order for butterflies to miraculously transform they must first go through a dark passage of struggle—and if we rob them of this their wings stay shriveled and they can never fly.
This is who I am to my core. Raw and real my heart will show up deeply committed and courageous for what I love and care about the most.
For me this is not something to be anxious about but to be grateful for.
There are many more blessings than I have space here to share—but know that if I had a magic wand I would not change anything about my past—not one thing.
This is how I healed my anxiety.
Through changing my stressful story of my past to one of great love, power and meaning.
And because of this my body and mind healed as I learned to upgrade my life with new beliefs, new strategies, new thoughts, new actions and new reactions.
Instead of habitual fears bracing for any hint of chaos or worrying that something bad might happen—I now live from my center and in trust. When a challenge arises I don’t automatically default into old fears and over-react, but instead respond calmly, knowing that life always finds a way to work out for everyone’s ultimate good—and it is my job to learn what that higher good is for me. (It is also not my responsibility to control or make sure others highest good transpires for them—thankfully that is not my damn spiritual business!)
Healing my anxiety has been one of my greatest gifts because it taught me how to show up and play full out in life—it was an essential dark passage in preparing me to become the woman I was born to become.
From my experience I can say with heartfelt confidence that anxiety is not something we want to repress or run from—it is something we want to dive into deeply and emerge powerfully, ready to fly.