Eleditor’s note: This is just one take on sexuality. Enjoy it—or not. Sex should be fun, and mutual, and extra-ordinary—not taboo. In that spirit, may this be of some benefit.
Nowadays, it’s okay to talk about Female Pleasure.
Female ejaculation is quite possibly the greatest undiscussed aspect of modern sexuality.
Sex is an amazing part of relationships—it truly is one of the most amazing aspects of life.
While women are built differently than men, our sensitive sexual tissues, like the G-spot and clitoris, both become hard and engorged when we are excited and ready to orgasm.
Originally, doctors thought that female ejaculation was urine. Recently, however, they have discovered that—just like men can’t urinate when they’re aroused—neither can women.
It’s now suspected that the fluid released in a female ejaculation comes from the Skene’s glands which are located near the anterior wall of the vagina and around the lower end of the urethra [for more: see links below].
Just like male ejaculation, the amount of fluid released varies. It can range from a teaspoon to a tablespoon depending on the woman, where she is in her cycle, and the amount of sexual stimulation she’s just experienced.
Often when we are on the brink of orgasm, we clench our pelvic floor muscles and retract—however, if we push instead and let our bodies flow with the climax many of us may ejaculate.
Unlike men, women don’t need to ejaculate in order to fully climax—however, ejaculation can lead to an incredibly powerful orgasm that leaves our vagina pulsating in aftershocks.
Not every sexual encounter is the same, and sometimes we don’t know what we are fully capable of sexually until we have found someone who is a sexual match. Many of us need to feel more than just desired to fully relax and let go into the powerful current that can lead to orgasm.
Female ejaculation is not something that will likely happen during a one night stand.
Instead, women need foreplay to begin well before our bodies are even touched. A big part of this is feeling accepted by our lovers on every level. Unfortunately many women feel insecure about the physicality and realness of their bodies—however no one ever said sex was supposed to neat and clean.
In order to mentally get to a place where we are accepting of the female ejaculation we need to also accept that our bodies are real, dirty—and sometimes messy.
The more honest we can be about the reality of our bodies, then the more we will enjoy sex. It’s about the act of intimate foreplay that begins long before clothes fall to the wayside that lets two people fully be present in the act of sex and pleasing one another.
Some women ejaculate easily, and aren’t even aware that they are doing it.
Other women may find it incredibly hard or even impossible. However, with the right emotionally and sexually satisfying partner—it is possible, with a little practice.
Inside the anterior wall of the vagina lies the infamous G-Spot. The G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot (for German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg), is characterized as an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and female ejaculation. It is typically reported to be located two to three inches up the front (anterior) vaginal wall between the vaginal opening and the urethra.
The key to achieving ejaculation is through stimulation of the G-Spot.
To attempt this through regular intercourse it is best to find a position (such as man-from-behind or woman-on-top) that offers the right stimulation, friction and deep penetration. Your partner will need to build up pressure on the G-Spot as he thrusts, while either of you stimulate your clitoris at the same time. As you approach and reach orgasm, push out hard with your pelvic-floor muscles rather than squeezing in, as most women naturally do.
Achieving ejaculation through intercourse can be more difficult, especially if you have never ejaculated before. Another great way to attempt ejaculation for the first time is having your lover use their fingers to stimulate the G-Spot during foreplay.
First, put your fingers inside of your partner’s vagina, a few inches up towards the front and feel a round spongy patch—that is the G-spot. Now, move your fingers in a come-hither motion—visualize you’re motioning for someone to come over with two fingers instead of one. It may become hard, which is a good thing. It means your partner is getting seriously excited! Keep it up and increase the pressure.
To take it up a notch, use your other hand to press down on the area between her naval and her pubic bone. That will increase the pressure from the other side as well, adding to her arousal. To add to the climax, you can also orally stimulate the clitoris at the same time, gently sucking in an up and down motion.
There is not a specified time limit as to how long it will take her to ejaculate, but with the stimulation of her G-Spot and the clitoris—it probably won’t be long. She will give you cues as to how far away from orgasm she is—such as lifting her hips towards you or grabbing your hair and pulling your face further into her.
You can help your partner relax by talking dirty to her as well, saying things like “I can’t wait to have you cum in my mouth” or “I can’t wait to taste you.” The more emotionally comfortable your partner is with you, then the more likely she will be able to let herself go physically.
Because the orgasm involving ejaculation for a woman is especially strong, she might not be ready for intercourse immediately. If she needs a few minutes to relax, let her—otherwise, for an incredibly powerful experience as soon as she has reached orgasm through hand and oral stimulation, slide your penis inside of her and thrusting as deeply as you can, help her continue her climax for as long as either of you can last.
Achieving ejaculation is something that may have to be practiced repeatedly before a woman will get there—but what’s the harm in a little practice?
If at first you don’t succeed, try again.
Besides, what else could be better than trying something new with our lover tonight?