I’ll never be perfect at love.
Love itself is not perfect. It can be messy and drive us to the edge of extremes.
Love is not always so easy and I’m not always so easy to love.
If I compromised and constantly tried to please, I would lose myself in the process. Then you would only have half of me to love, and I would only have half of my love to offer.
I cannot live a lie, or pretend to be someone I’m not.
I want you to stay embroiled in our love not because I’ve fooled or tricked you by showing you what you want to see. I want you to love me as I love you, the kind of unstoppable, unbreakable love that burns holes in the sky.
My love is indestructible and only requires the truth.
So I offer you my absolute truth, even though it’s not always pretty.
I know the way I love may sometimes confuse you. I see how it leaves you bewildered and lost at times.
My love doesn’t always look like the love you’ve witnessed before.
This love is real, often terrifying.
It isn’t a fairy tale or a sparkly illusion.
Although, I assure you, it is magic. It will touch where no other has roamed.
I can’t promise a “happy ever after,” nor can I guarantee a future I haven’t yet seen.
Though I will promise you this:
Every day the love I give will be real.
I will only say, “I love you,” if those words are loaded and weighted with love.
Our limbs will only entangle if love sinks in skin-deep until it seeps through to your bones.
When I don’t tell you, “I love you” often enough, just know, that sometimes no words are required. Every day I choose you to be the one I share my existence with. Every day I wake you are my first thought. The first one I see. You are also the last.
When you wonder if I love you enough, remember my darling, I love you through each treacherous storm. I will continue to love you till the wind dries the last drop of rain. I will not run, nor will I hide. I will be there holding you tight, but far enough so you see what has to be shown.
Love does not shelter, it allows. There are things we both need to learn. We stand side-by-side, comrade-to-comrade and always have faith that the other has strength to get through. Some demons must be fought alone. Though, I am always there. When you close your eyes you will see me.
I love you without needing to own you, as I know that you belong to you, just as I belong to me. We are a bonus to one another’s lives, not an essential part of it. I adore that we are not two halves that make one and that we are desperately trying to master the art of unconditional love.
Although it is not easy to love without boundaries, we battle through and are learning our own unique way. I love you more because I know you have integrity and that you do not need to be regulated. You are perfect and you also mess up, just as I do, though, your intention is one of love and that is the only thing that means anything to me.
I love you through it all, the crazy and the beautiful.
I love you when your insecurities rise to the surface and try to tear us apart. I am never afraid—I see straight through them. I don’t run towards you to suffocate the fear, nor do I throw kisses all over your flesh. I know that giving into it gives your fear more power. I will simply stand firm and wait for the calm to return, for you to find your way back to me. Although you may sometimes think that that is not what love looks like, believe me when I say, “I love you enough to know that love is strong and that love can drown out all darkness.” When love is real, love does not need to be chased.
Don’t think when I spend time alone that I do not want you or that my heart doesn’t ache madly for your love. I must first know me, so that I can show me to you. I want you to see me. See through me. I want you to know all of me just as I want to know you.
I love you enough to know that to be able to love you completely, I must first love myself completely.
I need to know how to love myself so that I know what it feels like to give and receive real love.
Through loving myself I learn how to fully love you.
I always want to love you. I hope you’re the one through this life and onto the next.
I give you this love and I want nothing in return.
Except for one thing:
That you believe me when I tell you, “I love you for real.”
This is a new kind of relationship that’s truly sustainable, passionate and fun:
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May
Photo: Flickr/Michelle B.