Marry A Man Who Knows How To Love Hard.


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You are worthy of love and belonging, just by way of having been born into this beautiful planet.

But not just that.

You deserve to be loved fiercely.

You deserve to be loved by a man who knows how to love hard.

A man who looks at you like you are made of magic. The kind of shimmering magic that you feel when you are standing knee deep in Balinese water and the blue-glowing phosphorescence whisks about your feet after midnight—a beach-side bonfire roaring 20 feet behind you.

A man who prefers date night to consist of you, a fireplace, little to no clothing and the kind of soul-f***ing that happens when your limbs are intertwined and the depth of your conversation becomes the entertainment for the night.

A man who wants to know your fears, worries, insecurities, phobias, and doubts, and wants even more to love you through every last one of them.

A man who loves you fiercely, for who you are at your beautiful core.

A man who prefers you at seven a.m. with eyes that only open halfway and strands of hair stuck to your bottom lip, even though you aren’t a morning person. A man who loves you before, during, and after your morning coffee—regardless of whether or not you’ve fussed over yourself in a mirror that day.

A man who rests his jawline on your chest and melts into you more than you ever thought a human being could possibly melt.

A man who worships you.

On the days when his love seems too deep, too permeating, too how-do-I-even-deserve-this-kind-of-love to be true, he is right there to remind you why you 1,000 percent deserve every last drop.

Because he can’t not love you. Because it’s easy. Because it’s you.

Marry a man who is there for all of the “what-if’s” of life. What if I’m grumpy? What if my parents are mean to him one day? What if I lose 10 pounds? What if I gain 30 pounds? What if I lose my job? What if I temporarily lose my spark in life? What if I forget who I am? What if I throw a (paper) plate at him when I’m upset?

Marry a man who will be there, through all of the inevitable speed bumps of life.

A man who lovingly listens to how your day went, and knows exactly when to steer you away from your own stormy seas when life’s pressures pile up in too big of a mountain for you to climb on your own.

A man who is there to remind you, that yes you are allowed to feel that way. Who is also there to mirror you when your thoughts are too disconnected from reality and you might be causing yourself harm by dwelling in your stories.

A man who rubs your feet, or slow dances with you, or cracks a perfectly timed joke to get you out of your anxious head and back into your body.

A man who understands that love is shown through the little things.

A man who does the dishes not as a martyr, but as someone who sees organizing your environment as an act of love in itself. A man who fills up your car’s gas tank because he knows how much you dislike doing it. A man who leaves 10-word love notes for you to find scattered throughout your life—and not because it’s Valentine’s Day, but just because it’s Tuesday.

A man who isn’t really that interested in seeing your new shade of lipstick because he would rather feel his lips stick to yours.

And when the tough times inevitably roll through your shared lives, make sure you marry a man who can look deeply into your eyes and say, “We’ve got this. We’re going to make it through. You have nothing to worry about.”

A man who wants nothing more than to assist in the ever-expanding greatness of your life. He is not threatened by your successes; he relishes them.

He doesn’t get jealous when other people check you out; he knows at a bone-deep level how much of a prize you are.

Marry a man who loves so hard that it liberates you on every level. A man whose love emancipates you from your confines, and makes you believe that anything in life is possible.

This man will open up your world for you, and you will gladly do the same for him.

Yes, marry a man who loves like this, and you will begin to access a depth of love and self-love that you previously had not had access to.


Relephant Read:

Marry a Man who Knows you are Real.


Author: Jordan Gray

Editor: Toby Israel

Photo: Andreas Schalk/Flickr


Relephant Bonus:

What to do when our Relationships get Tough.

How to be an Incredible Parent.


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maegan wagner Feb 3, 2019 12:25pm

Well Jordan, are you single? LOL jk 😉

aliciaclaasen Jan 18, 2019 7:29am

I had someone like this in my life for a while, and thought he was too obsessed. He did everything I wished my ex would do for and with me. My problem was/is that I am still in love with my ex. When my ex/father of my child realized that I could move on with my life, he started popping up, making sure that I see no other man but him, started doing favors and being present and showing interest, just to find that he would drop me again after he made sure I won’t see any other man.

debbihasday Jan 16, 2019 8:07am

Oh my gosh. This is exactly like I have felt for so long. As of this week, I am officially divorced after a marriage of 37 years. I have had this empty spot for someone to make me feel just like Jordan describes in his article. To feel like he thinks that I am the absolute best part of his life and TO SHOW IT!!! He claimed that and so I asked him, “Why didn’t I know that?!” It has felt so empty. I am so afraid that I will never know that feeling again…. thank you Jordan for your deep insight. How did you get that at such a young age? Someone is or going to be very lucky to be the one loved by you!

Ursela Dunn Jan 10, 2019 8:27am

I’m 52 and I recently found this love. It’s amazing, that’s all I can say. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real but it is. Everything in this article is true; I am living it.

freetobepatty Jan 8, 2019 7:27am

What do you do, when you find a man like that, but aren’t capable of loving that hard back? When you have never experienced anyone loving you in a healthy way.
This man has entered my life, but it makes me feel “less than”, because I don’t give that much back. I am used to the adrenaline of having to fight and claw my way to receiving love….
It is hard to find someone perfect, when you still have baggage of abuse……
I don’t want to feel like I am using him, he worships me.

Samantha Brookes Jan 6, 2019 6:57pm

WOW!!! ??❤️??❤️

tangelfarie Dec 10, 2018 10:56pm

I love love love reading your stories. So happy I found them. Thank you.

anonymous Apr 9, 2016 5:47pm

couldn’t agree more Craig, very idealistic, romantic love more like in the movies

anonymous Apr 3, 2016 4:08am

I wonder if the young idealistic kid that wrote this truly has loved and lost enough to know whats required.

There isn’t a floor plan, or any plan. It isn’t how it works. So yeah, this all reads well, and romantic…. but I’m sorry…… find a man who loves you more when you just woke up? Why? This seems more like a moralistic crash course in political correctness for lovers.

anonymous Apr 2, 2016 10:53pm

I don't think love like this exist anymore. People are too busy for love. Too much social media, too much lies, too much of everything! I liked the old days. Love letters not emails, Meeting in person not Facebook or video chat. Idk, I think everyone is lying about something, can't trust no one and after 6 years of unhappy marrige, can't trust love.

anonymous Jan 29, 2016 11:31pm

I loved a woman like this once and then some and we were the very best friends too beforehand. A foundation of granite. But she was Sydney through and through and it wasn’t enough. I agree Violet that you can be cured of it. It’s a long way back when you’re that far in. Fabulous and tragic. Loving one self first is essential.

anonymous Jan 28, 2016 9:53pm

My soon to be fiance juat sent this to me and said ” i thought of you throughout this whole thing”. And it really does make me feel great as a man to love girl like this. Seeing her happiness when i do about 80% of whats in this peice, is absolutly, hands down, the best moments of my life. Ive never loved a woman like i love her. I honestly cant wait to see what forever has in store for us.

anonymous Jan 28, 2016 7:06pm

WOW this touched me in so many ways….Inspiration, Hope, Yearning of the Soul, and Blowing Breath of Life into the Dreams…But it also made proof of them existing because I myself have been that person – Just a WOMAN who only knows how to love ALL IN, DEEP and HARD. Unfortunately, I am in expectancy of that MAN, because if I EXIST as such, the I KNOW he does too. *_* Beautiful article. Thank you. *_*

anonymous Jan 27, 2016 3:22pm

I think I have met a man like this. I wouldn’t have looked at him if i passed him in the street. He’s older, less educated than i am, shorter than me, hairier that i thought i would find attractive. The sex i have had with him is mind-blowing, and deeply connecting. He is patient and kind. He makes it safe for me when i am triggered by my past. He speaks my love languages. I feel so blessed and i hope to have him in my life and grow in love with him for years to come.

anonymous Jan 27, 2016 8:54am

I have a man who loves me hard like how you described, but I will never be able to love myself the same way.

anonymous Dec 22, 2015 4:26pm

So…..staying single is, by this measure, the best bet. There are people out there who love this hard. Usually it only takes one, maybe two deep heartbreaks to cure (‘cure”) them of it. After all the gooey eyed romantic soul f***ing, there are the inevitable boring/ugly/blah parts of life. If you’re still friends for that part, go for it. If you went for it and you’re not sure, keep sticking to it. NOT QUITTING is the hardest part. This is what my in laws (50 years, sweet to each other even though they drive each other insane) and parents (36 years, madly in love) say. Marry a man who won’t quit, and don’t you quit either. Soul f***ing can go out the window for a lot of reasons. Not everyone has a perfectly timed joke. Most men JUST DO the dishes so they don’t get into a conflict. Women are far from perfect.

ps. soul f***ing is great too.

anonymous Dec 22, 2015 8:08am

Hi! Im Lria and im 22 years old. I just wanted to thank you for answering my all time question “will he ever be my first and last?” Now that i have read your article i have come to love my boyfriend more because everything that you have written here were the exact replica of him. I wanted to thank you for answering my prehibitions eventhough i didnt ask this from you directly. Keep up the good work 🙂

anonymous Nov 26, 2015 7:54pm

I married this man. We just celebrated our 15th anniversary in Oct.

anonymous Nov 23, 2015 12:42am

The article is not bad, but thow things are unsatisfying about this article.
1- the most poetic expression found as a title most probably comes from porn
2- bad advice. We always teach girls how they need to be pampered and loved- and not enough how they have a right to love, how they should tune into their desire, and choose a man that inspires them and that they truly respect, not just one who is the most motivated one to get them. This is an old stereotype basically, re spiced with today's hardchore culture, and I would have like something less stereotyped

anonymous Sep 16, 2015 1:01am

How bout finding a man that YOU love that way…

anonymous Sep 12, 2015 10:54am

This is awesome. I was in a “marriage ” for 15 long years before I got the courage to get a divorce. The wonderful man that swept me off my feet was right in front of me. He treats me like a princess and we’ve had a long distance relationship for a year, but I’ve returned. We have a beautiful relationship with no baggage, just each other.

Do you have any relationship books available? Thank you for the awe inspiring article.

    anonymous Sep 12, 2015 6:24pm

    So happy to hear you've found an emotionally satisfying relationship Chemgal. And yes, I have over 200 articles on my personal site, and five books that you can find on either my website or Amazon 🙂

anonymous Sep 12, 2015 6:41am

Absolutely love this article. I believe I have found a guy like this, and I'm still trying to accept that it's real life! As many have stated above, I think the key is fully loving and accepting yourself first, and finding someone who is at that same point in life. Even though we're only in our 20s and I'm aware that it may not last "forever", I'm grateful that I will have at least gotten to experience this kind of love.

anonymous Sep 11, 2015 9:31pm

At 50 I met the woman of my dreams she she was 37 has s 3 beautiful children whom I adore and treat as my own with an undeniable Parental kind of love. From the beginning have loved her this way Pampering her catering to her every opportunity I got. The same for her children, Our loving making was so beautiful , We have been separated now for almost 4 weeks seems like an eternity. After weeks of the daily grind kids work errands and Daily affections being shown via text / in person and the intimacy we shared those last couple weeks was just as it should be, then Sat she was on the deck listening to an audio book based on marriage which she has been for a while , I stepped out to see if there was anything She needed or i could d o for her she had tears in her eyes looked at me and simply said Robert Im not so sure about this marriage thing that she didnt want to be worshiped or made my world, After many tears have fallen I am still truly in love with this woman In 6 years we stood by each other through everything Job losses / sickness /custody battle Family Drama etc… I know no other way to love than fiercely , No matter how tired I was or sick I would massage her on average 4 nights per week Most of the time was her requesting it But I was always there. I am still in shock as are the kids But am moving on with my life I will love myself fiercely something Ive never done I only hope I can love another the same again.

    anonymous Sep 11, 2015 10:41pm

    I'm so, so sorry to hear for your loss Robert. It sounds like you're leaning into your emotional processing, and taking care of yourself as best as you can. My heart is with you brother.

anonymous Sep 11, 2015 11:36am

This is great but I still havent met him.

anonymous Sep 10, 2015 6:48am

Thank you so much for writing something so beautiful! Me, my friends and colleagues have been tripping over this article. You've found just the exact words, probably every woman may imagine while thinking of her potential partner. And knowing that a man has written it, is definitely a cherry on the cake.
It truly is a gift, treasure it always. 🙂

    anonymous Sep 11, 2015 12:13am

    Thank you so much for the kind words Monica! I'm so happy to hear that you and your friends have been enjoying it. I'm writing a follow up piece to the two most frequently asked questions that I have received on this piece (i.e. "Do these kinds of men actually exist?", and "Where can we find them?") on my personal site shortly. You can find the link in my bio.

anonymous Sep 9, 2015 4:06am

The story of love goes to eternity but false expectations from soap operas break more than make relationships better. The man described above does not exist in reality just in a perfect world of imagination. All the same he can be some of that.

    anonymous Sep 9, 2015 8:29am

    Every line in the above article was inspired by my own relationship and the way that I see the men in my life treating their intimate partners. These partners absolutely do exist. Are they perfect human beings with zero faults or limitations? No. But they do exist as described above. Thanks for your comment Julius.

    anonymous Nov 22, 2015 7:25am

    Yes he exists and one like this loves me exactly like this. 🙂

anonymous Sep 8, 2015 12:49pm

This is the most beautiful article I’ve read in terms of expressing what authentic love truly is.

And knowing that these words came out of a man himself gives me hopes for future of our women.

This is that sort of reading which makes you see what you truly lacked till now and what you need to have..

Thank you so much for creating such a wonderful piece of writing.

    anonymous Sep 8, 2015 4:31pm

    Wow, thank you so much Shweta! I'm so glad my words found you at the right time, and that they resonated with you.

anonymous Sep 8, 2015 10:36am

I found a man like this in college – great place to meet a mate. After 41 years, I am sometimes rocked back on my heels by how much he still loves me, and I him. Lots of hard times and hard work in these many years, but the love never faded away. Thanks for the beautiful reminder that I am the most fortunate person on earth to have found my man and kept him by my side.

    anonymous Sep 8, 2015 4:32pm

    That's so beautiful Mary. I'm so happy to hear that you met such an amazing man so young. 🙂

    anonymous Jan 27, 2016 8:46pm

    I am so happy to hear you have such a sincere and deep meaningful love. It is rare and should be celebrated. When two people manage to create such a love they should mindfully celebrate it and recount the ways that lead them to such a deep love. Nothing should be taken for granted. True love IS a basic need for humans and you fine lady have found it and managed to keep it. I rejoice in your victory. You bring me hope. Bless you.

anonymous Sep 8, 2015 7:21am

That's honeymoon stuff. Lifelong love moves beyond "soul fucking"

    anonymous Sep 8, 2015 4:34pm

    I disagree Jeff. I've interviewed many couples who have been married for between 30-60 years who still have date nights on a weekly basis that have a huge element of soul fucking. Is complacency societally reinforced and easy to settle into? Of course. Does that mean that passion and deep love can't exist long-term? Not at all.

    anonymous Jan 27, 2016 10:41pm

    The language is extreme, I agree. Like I don’t think my husband fills my tank because he knows I hate doing it – that sounds borderline unhealthy – i think he does it because we’re grown-ups & he’s just doinv it. But I get the idea. I have this kind of love and have had it for many, many wonderful years. When it’s right, it clicks. Relationships should never make you feel like love is hard. If it doesn’t click, you should move on until you find one that does.

anonymous Sep 8, 2015 5:48am

Theres no strategic plan for finding him, or her, for that matter. It's as simple as loving someone so much that you can only give the best of what's inside you – without hesitation. God dropping your soulmate right in front of you at the time you least expect. I have just this man, finally, at 44. Everyday I am amazed at the magnitude of our love.

anonymous Sep 7, 2015 7:19pm

This is so true. One question, what if he finds it difficult to overcome his jealously when we are around other men? I am a bubbly person and chatty, but how do I reassure him that I only have eyes for him?

anonymous Sep 7, 2015 5:56am

In the beginning, this is what we had. After 12 years of marriage, our love had suddenly drifted… all the passion, the respect and sincerity… all of it is no longer existent.

anonymous Sep 6, 2015 5:51pm

Sometimes I have doubts that men like this exist… and then magically this articles appears onn my Facebook newsfeed! This is everything: “A man who prefers date night to consist of you, a fireplace, little to no clothing and the kind of soul-f***ing that happens when your limbs are intertwined and the depth of your conversation becomes the entertainment for the night.”
Nicely written! And thank you for reminding me that this still exists and that a love like this is worth waiting for!

anonymous Sep 6, 2015 3:53pm

This is how I love myself! I taught myself to love me in any condition because my soul is always beautiful regardless of the external layers are perceived as. Once I started to perpetuate the sending and receiving of unbounded love to myself, that is when conscious divinity encouraged me by co-created with me, magnify the field of love which resonates out and draws others in who do the same. When learning to do this consistently, I was mindful that when I was hating on me, I chose to socialise with haters and life turned to shitake. Pure love, love of the self is the highest resonation which paths the way to an awakening of a god consciousness. Choose love!

anonymous Sep 5, 2015 4:42pm

I agree with a lot of this but i think it’s important to say that the man should stick up for himself in the relationship. If I’m being unreasonable, i don’t want a man who will be a pushover. I want a man who will make sure I’m treating him right.

    anonymous Feb 13, 2016 1:08pm

    Thank you, Jane. I appreciate you putting a balance on this and noting that a healthy self respect will begat a healthy relationship. All too often this type of love will attract a narcissistic personality type, of either gender, who will thrive at the expense of the other. This had to be one of the most off balance relationship articles I think I’ve ever read…

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 8:34pm

I have a love like this. He texts every morning reminding me how amazing I am, how lucky he is to have found me. When close enough I feel like I want tho dive into him and kiss his heart. We embrace each other souls and fell the f flux of the cosmos. I’m in love with this love and can’t get enough. It will be forever while lasts. Don’t fear the future cause we are living today.

    anonymous Apr 8, 2016 4:31pm

    I'm the same! I found a love like this without even trying and am thankful for it everyday even if we're 5000 miles apart. 🙂

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 7:48pm

I think this post is beautifully written, and speaks to the dream all women have to be loved like that…

There is one seriously big missing link here though…Unless you truly love yourself like this first, it's extremely unlikely someone else will love you like it.

In order to magnetize a love like this into your life, you need to hold the resonance to draw this soul to you. Great writing Jordan, but this is something surely you know from your own experience working with people?

it's still a great piece to hold up and remind ourselves of what we'd really love more than anything 🙂

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 3:01pm

You don’t go looking for it. You be the best version of yourself and it will find you. Stop looking for someone else and find yourself! When you love yourself this much, Someone else will fall in love with you too!
It’s a beautiful thing. 🙂

    anonymous Sep 7, 2015 10:07am

    Very true ..BT v always learn this hard day u just stop looking out for sm1 and look inside.. Thts wen magic happens

    anonymous Apr 10, 2016 8:59am

    Well said Patty… Be true to yourself first and find yourself!

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 2:31pm

<3 VERY well written Jordan. 🙂

    anonymous Sep 9, 2015 8:29am

    Thank you Sean! I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 1:33pm

WIth me too! Beautiful.
Thank you!

(& so now I go to find the tissue box! :)))

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 11:42am

But where do you find this love?? Thats the big question. Sometimes it starts like this and then changes so drastically.

    anonymous Sep 6, 2015 6:01pm

    I agree with you Karen.!!

    anonymous Nov 24, 2015 3:45pm

    Return it in kind. Such that you both resonate with the mind of the other. Such love will, in turn, remind each of you as needed. Always to return. One warning only. To ask to be freed from one such as this, granted this will be. Oh say neverheed!

    anonymous Dec 23, 2015 2:57pm

    it's not about finding it, but being it! Happiness, just as continuing to love whole- heartedly, is a choice. When things get hard to you withdraw or love harder?

anonymous Sep 4, 2015 6:40am

This is the purest kind of love…the ultimate dream. It's what i look for but have never been able to explain so thankyou for describing it perfectly (:

    anonymous Sep 4, 2015 7:22am

    Thank you for reading Michelle! I'm so glad my words resonated with you 🙂

      anonymous Sep 4, 2015 5:02pm

      it was my pleasure! Thank you so much for sharing!

Kimberley Britt Oct 26, 2018 3:03pm

WOW!!! I’ve thought I was confused or crazy believing LOVE like this exists. I’ve had two failed marriages and both were very hard. First one ended after him having several affairs and me suffering a broken back. Everything was my fault by his thoughts. Second marriage ended after 17 years after he had a affair and told me I made him do it. Sadly I stayed and tried harder all the while he was searching for his next affair. Again he said it was me. The affair brought out a lot of secrets. 1) he was sleeping with a friend with benefits while we were dating. 2) He had asked his ex-wife to move back in 2 weeks prior to our engagement. 3) the engagement ring I received from him had been bought with his ex girlfriend a month prior to us meeting. 4) He always looked at other women while being out with me but would tell me I was overreacting. 5) During our 17 years he would witness my ex cussing me or any different opinion with people and always stood back and watched then he would tell me I caused it. If I would’ve just ignored whoever they wouldn’t treat me bad. Sadly 2 of those disagreements was me defending his Children. At the end of our marriage he informed me Men aren’t interested in women who cook, clean their house or be about our children or grandkids they want someone who is about him and have their hair always fixed, makeup on and sexy when he comes home. He said I was to tomboy. I love cooking, gardening, playing in the creeks, taking back road rides, camping, bonfires, mudding, Jeeps and above all I love My Family, My Dogs and spending time with them. I’ve spent the last 2 years healing my mind, heart and emotions and putting things back into perspective. As bad as those 2 men hurt me i know there’s TRUE LOVE AND IM WAITING ON HIM. God has a man chosen for everyone we have to be aware of a Godly man and trust God what we need in our life. God bless each of you for sharing your journeys and fears by sharing we heal.

Mala Sona Oct 24, 2018 4:41pm

Beautiful's hard to find such a person though...

Guy Vandenberg Oct 16, 2018 5:44pm

I met that man 27 years ago and married him. Twice! The first time was in 2004, but that marriage was invalidated. The second time was in 2008 (on the very same day we helped to elect president Obama). That marriage was upheld by the California Supreme Court, and later by SCOTUS. When we were born, interracial marriage was illegal in many states. When we met, same sex marriage was illegal in all 50 states. My man knows to survive and fight white supremacy and homophobia. And perhaps partly because of that, to love even more fiercely. I know that loving me can be hard sometimes. My husband's love is deep and hard and boundless.

Ednah Ani Clarke Oct 9, 2018 10:09pm

Penni Lea Lara I too experience this MUCH of the time in my 23 year marriage. But I (joyfully) discovered long ago after much struggle ... that the only place we can truly generate consistent and strong love ... is inside of ourselves ... from there we absolutely will know our value' and all of the things this article has us thinking we RECEIVE from the other will really be REFLECTIONS of what we are focused on creating inside ourselves. IF we come across anyone stuck in abusive, self abusive or other inner struggle ... they may choose to join the SELF work and we can then blend ... otherwise we can always look to build, nourish and grow that same love that's now inside of us... with our friends, families and community ... and the world ... all of whom need love JUST AS MUCH as a couple. In fact like someone else here mentioned, it is exactly the need to build healthy community and family (blood or not) that is a HUGE part of the medicine we truly need for self love ... rather than expecting our mate singlehandedly can 'complete' us. Thank you

Glenda Nilsson Collins Aug 2, 2018 1:05am

sometimes this man turns out to be a psychopath after a few years. or decades. just sayin'. if it's too good to be true, maybe it's too good to be true.

Tina Shultz Jun 27, 2018 3:42pm

Jordan, my sister is getting remarried this coming Saturday, and it is as if you wrote this piece specifically to the love she has found. What a great piece. Thank you! We all need this kind of love in our lives!

Belinda Kate Jun 26, 2018 10:10am

Wow I love this. May his soul and mine find each other. x

Sans Rhei Apr 21, 2018 2:56pm

If only this man existed...

James Daniel Sensano Oct 26, 2017 2:54am

I felt that way about my ex, she choked me out two days after she got her blackbelt in jiujitsu then made me out to be a psychopath :(

Tim Dibble Jul 25, 2017 3:27pm

While moments like these will exist for short periods of time-being able to maintain them for a long time requires the acceptance that both people in the relationship are human and will fail and falter at times. It is the dedication to the union over all else which brings back the moments. It is hard to find in this world of McDonalds. We want love to show up hot and juicy and the same every time we order it and forget that the person on the other side is ordering hot and juicy too. Are you the exact same every moment of every encounter with your other? Would you really want sameness?

Melissa Reece Jun 14, 2017 6:22pm

Soooo, basically, a Unicorn �

Jeff Willis Jun 13, 2017 10:15pm have to stop trying to cloraform us...

Lauren O'Keefe Jun 13, 2017 9:59pm

This is so beautiful �

Melina Powers May 28, 2017 9:10pm

"A man who leaves 10-word love notes for you to find scattered throughout your life—and not because it’s Valentine’s Day, but just because it’s Tuesday." <3

Ben O'Brien Apr 23, 2017 4:45am

I disagree with this article, you do not deserve to be 'loved hard' by virtue of being born. It's an equal partnership, of working on the relationship. Sure have minimum standards of treatment, but that 'love hard' business goes both ways, and can only be desired once you give the same. Also, loving to get that same love in manipulation, it's giving to get, so desire the treatment once you give it, but don't expect it. By thinking you deserve something by virtue or birth completely ignores that relationships take work and that there's another person in the relationship who is wanting to be loved as well. Fuck outta here with your entitlement bs and put the work in. If you do, and the treatment doesn't flow back, then your values are out of alignment with each other, so leave or have an open, honest and civil conversation about it.

Penni Lea Lara Apr 22, 2017 11:43am

It sucks people think this love is a fairy tale. It's rare, no doubt. But it exists. My husband to be truly loves me like this. I know some people will be cynical and think I'm lying or exaggerating- but fortunately for me, it's 100% true and accurate. I'm so glad he finally came along! Don't give up or give in- they do exist!

Daniel McCullar Apr 22, 2017 3:34am

All too often, man or woman ste too afraid to be loved like this.

Serra Jane Kilduff Apr 17, 2017 4:34am

Gabriele, thank you for saying it much more articulately then I could (I was going to write "what a load of bollocks" :)

Jeff Willis Apr 12, 2017 8:26am

broken heart?

Jeff Willis Apr 12, 2017 8:23am

Let me find that woman who puts God first, then me. Then all that is possible for me and more.

Theresa Basi Apr 10, 2017 7:24pm

What you're asking for is very commonplace. Isn't it about time that we had articles like this, about what men should do for women? They are very few and far between. Usually they're all about what women should do to satisfy men, like practically every strand of social life. The fact this article is written by a man makes me appreciate it more, regardless of how idealistic its message might be.

Michael Lo Verde Apr 10, 2017 5:10pm

Women are becoming so classless.

Nicole Renée Starcher Apr 10, 2017 10:20am

This happens. I had stopped believing it to be possible. The love we share and depths of it is something I don't even try to explain because it's impossible to explain, yet for anyone to believe actually exists. It's not a suffocating love, it's the love we all believe exists but few get to experience it.

Cindia Garrett Apr 9, 2017 8:18pm

So let me know if Jordan is available - he may be the last man like this on earth...

Great Coffee Ebooks Apr 9, 2017 6:46pm

Reading this article, I can only think of my man. He is a rare find, and true that I have asked him many times how I have come to deserve such love. He isn't a perfect man nor our love for each other perfect, but the kind of love described in this article helps us to change for the better in all aspects of our lives willingly for our relationship to work. We feel our love for each other growing more intense everyday. So, I guess, yeah, there is such a man, there is such a love. For those who are looking, keep it up. You deserve to be loved intensely like this. You might find a person like this, who knows. If you don't, at least you tried. But because that person might be rare, don't get stuck with your ideal as there are many kinds of love that are equally satisfying. Love is all around us!

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Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray is a best-selling author, public speaker and relationship coach with nearly a decade of practice behind him. You can read more of Jordan’s writing on his website.