Choose a Love that’s Whole.
A love that’s already full, without holes that need stop-gapping or fallen out pieces that need to be jammed up by bits of ourselves.
Choose a love that makes no demands—that we change, that we don’t change, that we meet impossible human standards; demands for more of ourselves than we’re able to (or ever should) give.
Choose a love that allows us to put ourselves first and it second. That gives us space to be individuals within a partnership and continue to explore those pieces of our lives that bring us the greatest joy—even when it doesn’t involve that love.
Choose a love that’s based on wanting not needing. Where each person does what they can to meet their own needs without any expectation that we will take over now that we’re on the scene, but who wants us around all the same because life is somehow better together than it ever could be apart.
Choose a love that knows sometimes love doesn’t come easy. Sometimes it needs to be worked for and nurtured so that it can be re-sewn for many years to come. Sometimes expectations do creep in unwittingly and they need to be shaken off before they take hold. The right kind of love will know that hard conversations must be had and will have them (no matter how uncomfortable they may be) because protecting love is more important than protecting individual fears.
Choose a love that shows up, day after day, night after night, week after week—a love whose presence is apparent in every moment, even those tough ones.
Choose a blameless love. A love that recognises that within each partnership lies two perspectives and, more often than not, neither one is right or wrong. A love that respects our life choices, the differences that lie in individual paths and doesn’t belittle or bemoan decisions we made before this love entered our world.
Choose a love that is complete—complete before we came along, complete with us, and a love that will remain so even if our paths divert apart down the road.
Choose a love that recognizes I am Me and You are You and together one plus one equals two. Not one. Never one.
Choose a whole love that understands how together, we are so much more than one could ever be.
Author: Sarah Kolkka