I have always been a seeker, even when I did not know that I was or what it was called.
My whole life I have been searching for something more—something bigger that what I was experiencing.
I was seeking for meaning, fulfillment and the purpose of my existence.
I sought it out in various places, people and things. I searched for fulfillment in relationships, jobs, materialism, escapism, food, shopping and too many more that I cannot even remember anymore. All my so called “searching” lead to one dead end after the another, leaving me more unfulfilled, and eventually taking me into a big black hole of depression and despondency.
Despite my relentless seeking, I never stopped. I kept going. I keep trying, even to this very day.
I have not given up my seeking, as it has kept the fire of life alive in me. It sits inside of me like an undying ember, fueling me to keep up the quest.
Eventually, through some hard knocks and lessons, I realized I was seeking in all the wrong places and through all the wrong things. None of these things were bringing me fulfillment—only despair.
They were only bringing me more and more pain, frustration and emptiness. Deep down inside I knew I was seeking to feel whole, complete and fulfilled.
It was only when I turned my seeking towards spirituality that I came to know I was in search of—remembering who I really am.
My guru defines “seeking” as “our inner-most desire to be free—our inner most desire not to continue with the status quo.” When I heard this, it all made sense to me.
I had it all in life—physically and materially—and still I felt dead inside. I could could not settle for a “normal” life, filled with complacency and mediocrity. I wanted an extraordinary life—a life of joy, bliss and excitement.
After experiencing glimpses of spiritual awakening, I came to realize that it is possible, and we can be in joy and continuous wonder all the time.
The trick is, it has to come from the inside out, not the other way around.
Most of us seek fulfillment from external sources, which often leads to more and more disappointment and tragedy.
Seeking is the act of continuously reinventing yourself and aligning yourself to your highest possibility and potential.
To live a life of seeking is to not be afraid of rebuilding, reinventing and restrategizing yourself on a continuous basis. There are no restrictions on seeking, and it is never to late. Even if you are on your death bed, you can still be seeking. Seeking to awaken your consciousness. Seeking to obtain self-realization.
Seeking intoxicates us with our highest truth. It awakens us to the truth that we are Divine beings, and our highest expression is possible.
If you have been seeking, then you can be sure that you have been graced with the ultimate gift of possibility.
Seeking awakens you—to you!
Author: Sarvasmarana Ma Nitha
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Photo: Flickr/PHOTO VANOVA