November 12, 2015

A 4-Step Process to Quit Being so Scared & Creating a Life we Actually Want.

Audrey Hepburn : Aufenthalt auf dem Bürgenstock

All around me, I see women awakening to their gifts, their power and their purpose.

However, I see many of the same women held back by fear, self-doubt and limiting beliefs.

I see women full with creative ideas but lacking the structure and support to fully execute them. I also see women struggling to fully express themselves and believe in their power.

Growing up, I knew I had a big message to share, but I had trouble speaking up and expressing myself. In high school and college, when all eyes were on me, I would freeze and have trouble finding my voice.

Then, five years ago it became more important to me to become a yoga teacher than to let this fear run my life.

Since then, everything has changed.

I left New York City to move to California and I traveled in India for six months by myself. I started sharing my voice and little by little, gained confidence as a teacher and leader.

Now, life is magical. I teach yoga, lead retreats, give speeches and am even writing a book. I find myself finally living beyond fear. Since starting my business, I’ve guided women from all over the world manifest a new vision for their life. What I’ve seen is:

It takes willingness to face a fear, again and again.

As much as I wanted to avoid it, I realized in order to create the life of my dreams, I had to do what scared me.

People who are living their dreams were willing to step outside of their comfort zone. Somewhere along the line, they had to take a risk. It was really scary for me to move to California, start my business and teach yoga and lead workshops. But the thing is, I was able to work up to it. I gave myself small steps to gain confidence.

Here are four keys that helped me along the way:

1. Get Clear on the Vision.

The first step in living beyond fear was first figuring out what I wanted.

This is the fun part, where I asked myself, “If anything was possible, what would I do?” “How would I live my life,” and, “What would I create?”

This is where we tap into the feminine qualities of intuition, meditation, dreaming and visioning.

I asked myself, “How do I want to feel and what would be ideal in all areas of my life?”

I free wrote about my home, how I would treat my body, what my career would be, how I would handle my finances, and what role spirituality, love and friendships would play in my life. I tapped into my intuition through meditation, exercise, dance, and creativity. I drew upon my body’s innate wisdom, let myself dream big, and wrote it down.

2. Create an Action Plan.

Look at the bigger picture.

I looked at my new vision and chose one area of my life to take action on. I asked myself, “What is one small step I can take in the next month to step closer to my vision?”

I had to avoid getting stuck at the drawing board and just take action.

I used to think I had to have a perfect website and branding before I could reach out to a potential client and work with them. What I found is, it wasn’t true at all. When I put myself out there and just started doing the work I wanted to do in the world, I learned about who I was here to serve over time.

When we ask, “What is the highest leverage action I can take?” we are one step closer to living our vision.

I saw my next step should be something manageable, but something that challenged me. Something that brought me to my edge. When I found what felt scary or vulnerable, I knew I was taking the right step!

Confidence comes through taking action.

3. Get Support From Sisterhood.

For years I have been going on runs down the road outside my house amidst rolling hills and vineyards. There is an uphill incline for the last stretch and still, every time, I am out of breath and unsure if I can make it.

One day, I had a friend over and invited her to join me on my weekly run. On that final stretch, I felt my breath get heavier and I felt like I needed to stop. As I slowed down, my friend passed me to cross the finish. In that moment, everything inside me wanted to give up. I lost hope, and lost my stamina. I started walking.

Then something magical happened.

Before she crossed the finish line, she stopped, turned around and started cheering for me. “Woohoo! You can do it!” she yelled. I looked up, and smiled to see her cheering me on. Suddenly, I had the energy to keep going. She continued to clap and cheer me on as I crossed the finish line. With a little encouragement, I stopped thinking about my exhaustion, my aches, and my pain. My energy was completely restored.

I realized it was so much easier to cross the finish line when there was someone there cheering me on.

I asked myself, “Who do I know in my life who could hold me accountable?” This question led me to work with a coach and create online programs and retreats focused around sisterhood for extra accountability and support.

I am now bringing women together in person to create a growing sisterhood because I know how valuable community is to help us take steps to live beyond fear.

With encouragement and support, I have watched myself and the women I guide turn their dreams into reality one step at a time.

4. Ritualize A New Beginning.

I have found that rituals create space to be witnessed in my truth, and to be supported by my sisters. It has been a space to honor the rites of passage in my life.

Rituals infuse magic, intention and sacredness into the moment. A ritual can turn a mundane act done without awareness into a sacred act done with clarity and purpose. Ritual can also be a healing space where women come together to honor a specific purpose. These rituals may honor transitions, letting go, grieving, the lunar cycle or the change of seasons.

Participating in ritual has been one of the most healing ways to mark a big transition in my life. Ritual has provided a space for me to be fully seen, acknowledged, and supported in facing my fears. After participating in ritual, I feel more confident and courageous to share myself with the world.

How have I honored living beyond fear?

I’ve gathered my sisters to witness me sharing my truth. I reach out to a friend or a coach to share what scares me to receive support. And sometimes I simply break down the fear into one small first step.

I invite you to find a way to mark this new beginning, and get ready for the magic that is sure to come from living beyond fear.

Relephant Read:

How to Shine a Light on Fear & Insecurity.


Author: Meredith Rom

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Wikimedia Commons


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