I Rose from the Dirt, Stronger than Ever.

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Flickr/Ms. Phoenix

I know you thought you could keep me down.

How does it feel now—knowing you couldn’t?

Your cruel words, caustic criticisms and shocking betrayals

Slip through my fingertips like flower petals.

I throw them to the full moon, an offering of fire—

They burn.

I burn.

I wish I could forget you,

Bury the bad memories like seeds

And rinse myself clean of you.

I can’t—I can’t forget you.

But you know what?

I can cleanse my wounds

And weed out the suffocating grief that’s still living inside me.

So, I dig deep in my heart,

Rip open my chest,

And extract the pain you planted

I place each throbbing thorn,

Each shattering insult, onto the wet, moon-soaked grass

And water the tender roots, of these bitter memories, with my sopping tears.

The most beautiful blossoms come from suffering—

Did you know that?

So I blossom,

I bloom,

I grow—

It hurts like hell.

Starlight glistens in my throat,

As I release—release,

Release it all.

The crisp breeze kisses my tear-stained cheeks, and I wonder—

Will I ever forget you?

Maybe not.

Maybe I will never, ever forget

How you shoved me down in the dirt

And told me to dull my light.

But I will always remember that I rose from the dirt,

Stronger than ever.

I will always remember finding a single seed of courage

And walking away from you.

You never saw my strength, did you?

You never saw me.

All you saw was your own fear,

Your own stale bitterness,

Your own tired jealousy.

I will never thank you for treating me like sh*t,

But I am glad you knocked me down

Because I rose—

From the dirt

Stronger than ever,

Wiser than ever

With a fierce look in my eyes,

An unstoppable knowing in my heart

And a raw cry in my soul

That said—

This.

Will.

Never.

Happen.

Again.

And it won’t.

Because when I rose from the depths of hell,

My tears turned to rubies,

And I found something you tried so hard to shatter—

Me.

I found me.

.

**Author’s note: This is not my most polite piece, but healing isn’t always polite—or pretty. I believe that sometimes, we just gotta get down and dirty and express the anger, pain and darkness stored within our hearts. This piece is a reminder, that despite the intense shame and guilt often associated with voicing “yucky” feelings—yeah, I pretty much want to hide under the covers and yell at myself for days after writing this poem—unearthing this tough stuff is really only the way to transform our pain and soothe our souls. We’ve got to express our sh*t to become our fully awesome selves. It is my heartfelt hope that these words offer something not so polite—but something powerful.

.

Relephant:

The Pain you Carry is not a Burden.

.

Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

Photo: Flickr/Ms. Phoenix

The Elephant Ecosystem

Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Rating—which helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Learn more.

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anonymous Nov 5, 2015 6:10pm

youre very special sarah

go for it,

anonymous Nov 5, 2015 2:03pm

Thank you for writing this. Raw, true, and beautiful. Please keep writing.

anonymous Nov 4, 2015 9:16pm

Thank you for exposing your truth to us. I admire your valor as it takes great courage and self-assurance in revealing a part of ourselves that is vulnerable. However, as you stated, unveiling our pain and experiencing its harshness is the prime path to liberation and eventual self-discovery. ☺

anonymous Nov 4, 2015 2:30pm

Your poetry is very beautiful and powerful! Thank you.

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Sarah Harvey

Sarah Harvey resides in the mysterious mountains of western North Carolina. Through the journey of healing her own trauma and pain, she has found power in poetic expression, art, and dance. She loves supporting people to step into their power, find their voices, and flourish. She believes in resilience. She believes that sometimes, our darkest days lead to the most unexpected, breathless joy. She currently offers life coaching sessions and is pursuing her Masters in Counseling. She feels most passionate about supporting those healing from trauma with a creative, heartfelt, and gentle approach.  Follow Sarah on Facebook and her website!