Have you ever caught yourself having a conversation with your girlfriends or with your one good guy-friend where the topic is centered on dating and a sigh like a last-gasp escapes from your mouth in the words, “I’m tired of sleeping alone”?
It is a desperate place. And what is the energy of desperation?
It is an amalgamation of doubt, lack, urgency, and fear. There you are, vulnerable and wanting. The heat from past sensual experiences can turn into a quenchless fire that burns in the void known as longing.
The question is, where does fulfillment lie? Is it in a person, place or thing? Is it the sleeping alone that is painful or the not knowing if you will always be sleeping alone?
This is not an article full of solutions. It is rather an acknowledgement of this place and calling it out by name.
Your body wants touch and your soul knows it. It is holding space to have a person—your mirror—embrace you in those quiet hours where secrets seem to stir.
Instead, there is an empty space next to you in a room filled with things that is begging to be cleaned. Maybe it is tidy, but the energy is messy. Maybe it is messy, because somehow, quite by accident, barriers have been put up. Walls stand where hands could go.
Slow down. It is okay.
There is nothing wrong here; nothing to fix.
Longing is just calling you towards a greater experience. It is provoking you into knowing more. Pull that energy close to your chest and feel the power of your beating heart.
There between the contractions is an opening for all you have ever conceived. Stand as an invitation and a reckoning.
Your desires are just inspirations not yet realized. They are formless and asking for refinement through the tacit agreements that lead to failure. Simply, keep getting close to what you want until you get there.
Find your voice.
Sometimes, the approximation of desires is just enough to bring them into form when just a little more time is allotted for. And, what happens most often, is we allow frustration to creep in and occupy each moment in a way that drives out new choices.
Our existence then becomes redundant; disappointment reliable. And disappointment is a bitch of a lover. Resentment only takes what it cannot give.
So, be tired. Be angry about it. Get activated. Let the form of the one who would hold you and create intimacy with you become so vivid that it is undeniable.
You are a force of nature.
Your bed is a place of dreams. There is not empty space there. There is an invitation for more.
Call it into being and let it go every day in every way and it will be so.
Author: Rebekah McClaskey
Editor: Travis May