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November 22, 2015

Life isn’t Always Fair: Why it’s Okay to Let yourself Have Bad Days.

Porsche Brosseau/Flickr

Bad stuff happens to good people. That’s a fact.

And let’s face it…sometimes it gets really exhausting having to be positive about it.

My parents have always said, “You think you got it bad… there are people out there that have it a million times worse.”

And yes, I acknowledge that they do. All of us can find at least 10 people we know that are dealing with something much worse than we are.

Still, we don’t have to put on a happy face and accept every difficult thing that happens in our lives. We have a right to vent about it, to get angry, to be sad or depressed.

We don’t need to sit in these feelings for extended periods of time. But are we allowed to go there for a short little visit?

Hell yea. And let’s not feel bad about it.

Someone asked me recently how I would describe my writing. What do I write about, they asked?

I had to think about that for a few minutes as I have never forced my writing to fit into any one particular box. I just write what is in my heart. But if I had to take the majority of my work, I’d categorize it as inspirational, advice on healing, letting go, acceptance and how to transcend and move through difficult situations.

So writing about the reality that life sometimes sucks and that we don’t always have to be positive, pull out our rah rah pom poms and carry on with a big fake smile is a little out of character for me. Yet when I jokingly threw out the idea to a few friends about writing about it, people wanted to hear it.

“I wouldn’t feel so bad if I knew other people were feeling the same way I was. Some days I just can’t be so damn positive about everything,” commented one friend.

Some of the “life is not fair” situations happening around me at the moment:

I have a co-worker who is battling breast cancer at the age of 32.

Another one just had a double mastectomy and needs a liver transplant.

A close friend just had her 3rd miscarriage. My brother-in-law is coming up on the one year anniversary of losing his only brother to ALS.

Another dear friend is approaching his 6th month of not being able to find any work. Another is grieving the ending of her marriage.

And Doug Flutie just lost both of his parents in one day. Now that is really not f**king fair.

And although we all know that life goes on and gets better, that there is happiness and joy around the corner after every hardship and setback we go through, I think we need to give ourselves a break sometimes and be okay with the days we can’t force ourselves to be positive about it all.

This is being human. We are all human and entitled to have our emotions about the things in our lives that aren’t going the way we had hoped, the fear of being sick, the sadness of losing a loved one, the uncertainty of the future, the shock of finding out the truth about someone we thought loved us.

We don’t have to accept the terrorism going on in the world. Or the children suffering in Syria. Or the atrocities happening in our own backyards.

We just have to acknowledge some days that life isn’t always fair. And then count our blessings for all of those small things in our life that are right—whether that be a warm bed to sleep in, healthy children curled up next to us on the couch, another meal on the table we didn’t have to go out and find or having the love of just one other person in this world to comfort us.

It may not always be fair, but it’s life.

 

Author: Dina Strada

Editor: Emily Bartran 

Photo: Flickr

Dina Strada

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