I crave my tears.
I want to taste their cathartic salty elixir in my mouth.
I want to swallow my sorrow.
The smiling is making me ache with repression.
I need to release the fear. The doubts. The screaming insecurities.
I need to feel them sliding out of my soul.
Please don’t enclose me in your soothing embrace.
I don’t want to be soothed.
I want to shudder with sobs, feeling the fluid of my darkness flow down my face.
Please don’t challenge my tears.
I need them to come.
If not, they’ll choke me. They’ll drown me in emotional restriction.
Please don’t tell me I have nothing to cry about.
I’m crying for despair.
I’m crying for love.
I’m crying for miracles that will never be.
I’m crying for pure bliss that can only end in exhaustion.
I’m crying for me.
I’m crying for you.
There’s everything to cry about.
How extraordinary—this whole being letting me shed soulful stagnation through the body.
How lovely—these tears that fuzzy the signal of my mind. No more analyzing.
I crave the timelessness of my tears.
They make me fearless.
Nothing can touch me when I’m already crying.
Please don’t pat me on the back.
Sit in front of me and cry with me.
Look into my glassy eyes and smile.
Then, kiss my salty face—give it permission to just be.
Please, love my tears.
When you see me steeling my face and clenching my heart…
Please, remind me to cry.
Author: Bailey Gaddis
Apprentice Editor: Jaimee Guenther/Editor: Nicole Cameron