Why Anger is Good for You—3 Types of Anger.

Via Kundan Chhabra
on Dec 12, 2015
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Zak Cannon/Flickr

I’m going to discuss the three types of anger; it is such a misunderstood emotion.

We are often afraid of our own anger and don’t know how to relate to it. People tend to suppress it and think of it as bad, but not all types of anger are negative. It may come as a surprise, but some forms of anger are actually good for you.

The three types of anger I will discuss are:

1. Temper tantrums, 

2. Anger from the violation of our boundaries, and 

3. The sacred rage from the violation of our own heart virtue or our soul print (which I will dive into later). 

Let’s start off with talking about temper tantrums.

These come from our childhood wounds, our subconscious negative programming and limiting belief systems that come from our early years. Note that these kinds of beliefs are subconscious and emotional. We may logically and intellectually know that these beliefs are not true, such as, “I’m not worthy” or, “I’m not good enough.” Nevertheless, we may believe them anyways, because they are in our subconscious.

This works through what I call the cycle of suffering, or the flow of suffering.

Usually an event happens in our life that is inherently neutral. For example, I used to get very mad if I sent a text to somebody and I didn’t get a response back on the same day. I would go off on that person and would think, “How dare this person not respond to me!” Or, “This person’s a jerk or an a**hole.” Alternatively, it might go the opposite way such as, “Did I do something wrong?” I would just go on and on in my head, and sometimes I would actually send angry follow-up texts to this person.

In reality, I could have given this event different meanings that are more neutral (maybe their phone died, maybe they were in a meeting or maybe they were just busy).

We can go even further than this. The only reason I was able to give this event multiple meanings is because it has no meaning. If it had a meaning, I couldn’t assign it any other meaning. That’s the paradox right there: no meaning because it has infinite meanings.

Then we can go even deeper. If this event has no meaning, then it cannot affect me in any way. But really, the beauty of this inquiry is to go even deeper than this and ask myself, “Wait a minute. Why did I give this event a negative meaning in the first place?”

One way to find out is to ask myself why this bothers me, and to keep asking myself this question again and again. Why does this bother me? At first, I might get silly answers like, “Oh, this person’s a jerk.” Why does this bother me? “Oh, now I’m feeling like I’m not respected.” Why does this bother me? “Well, now I’m feeling like I’m not worthy of respect.”

Aha! We’re getting somewhere. We’re getting into the limiting belief that, I’m not worthy of respect. I believe that anyways, and I was using the event to validate my belief, which actually came from my childhood.

Now I have an opportunity to really heal it and remove this belief forever, either with a coach or, eventually, without assistance. However, it’s best to do this with a coach, especially if we are in the beginning stages of our journey on this path. But eventually, we will know how to remove these beliefs ourselves. Even the temper tantrum kind of anger is very useful for us, because it tells us our limiting beliefs. It reveals where our hurt lies and where our childhood wounds are. This is beneficial because by locating the meaning and the belief and then removing them, we can dissolve the hurt.

The second type of anger comes from the violation of our boundaries.

This anger is very natural and good for us, because it tells us that a boundary has been violated. It is only natural for us to feel angry when it occurs. An example of a boundary violation can be somebody punching us or about to hit us, in which case it is only natural to get angry.

It’s not just the physical punch; it’s also the verbal and emotional punches of emotional abuse that occur. Even in those circumstances, it’s very natural for us to be angry. This instance provides us with an opportunity to reestablish that boundary.

This is why it is very important to ask ourselves what has been violated whenever we are feeling angry.

What needs to be protected? What needs to be restored? These are vital questions to ask ourself besides the first question, which is true for every negative emotion: What is the message here? What is the message you want me to know?

The third type of anger is what I call raw rage or sacred rage.

This comes from the violation of our core integrity, often known as our heart virtue or what I call our soul print. Before I get into sacred rage, I want to explain what our core integrity, or the term heart virtue, means. It’s hard to understand sacred rage without understanding what our heart virtue is.

Our heart virtue is the deepest part of our heart. Our core integrity is our deepest value that is so meaningful to us that every time we experience, embody or express it, we’re literally moved to tears with goosebumps all over our body. It is our deepest value that we were born with that is completely non-negotiable—we’re even willing to die for it.

Our other values can change, whether they come from society, media, religion, our parents or other external influences. However, this one doesn’t come from any of that; it comes from you.

This is why the flip side of this is that we will feel raw rage or sacred rage every time our heart virtue has been violated. This rage comes from being committed to something so beautiful that was violated. Really, what differentiates us from our past heroes who evolved the human race and changed history? People like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mother Theresa lived their heart virtues. For example, Martin Luther King, Jr.’s heart virtue was brotherhood. Mother Theresa’s heart virtue was compassion. Indeed, Martin Luther King, Jr. actually died for his heart virtue of brotherhood.

Your heart virtue is actually very unique to you. If there are seven billion people, then there are just as many different heart virtues. For example, my heart virtue is that I am committed to experiencing divinity, sharing awakening and bringing sovereignty back to all beings, now and forever. Other examples of heart virtues are “communion that destroys all barriers” or “co-creative joy that comes from true understanding of each other.” You can see how specific and unique each one is from these examples.

The sacred rage that comes from the violation of our heart virtue is never meant to be dissolved. Instead, it’s meant to be channeled and used as fuel for our life purpose.

Our life purpose is our heart virtue in action, and when it’s channeled and used as fuel, it becomes passion. This is why it is very important to connect to our sacred rage, because we will be disconnected from our own passion if we’re not connected to it.

Let me give you an example. In my own life, because I am committed to awakening, I do feel a certain amount of sacred rage whenever somebody behaves toward me from their unawakened programming, which is pretty much everyone on some level. This is why I do the work I do of really awakening as many people as I can. I work to deprogram people by helping them recognize their debilitating belief systems and childhood wounds so they may step into their awakened self, who they really are at their core—an infinite being of pure power and confidence.

To recap, there are these three types of anger: temper tantrums, anger from violation of boundaries, and sacred rage:

1. Relating to temper tantrums that come from our childhood wounds and subconscious limiting beliefs is to ask ourself the meaning that we are giving to this event and what is the limiting belief that causes this meaning. Working with a life coach might help you remove these limiting beliefs.

2. How to relate to the anger from the violation of our boundaries is asking ourselves what has been violated and needs protection, and then working to re-establish that boundary.

3. How to relate to sacred rage is to discover your heart virtue or your soul print or your core integrity. Learn how to channel your sacred rage into fuel for your life purpose.

~

Relephant:

Treating Anger like one of our Greatest Teachers.

Anger is Beautiful.

~

Author: Kundan Chhabra

Apprentice Editor: Savannah Robinson / Editor: Toby Israel

Images: Jason Bo/Pixoto (feature image); Zak Cannon/Flickr (main image)

 

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About Kundan Chhabra

Kundan Chhabra provides Emotional Alchemy: transforming your emotional pain and old relationship baggage into fuel for your passion and life purpose! He does this through Breakthrough Awakening, the Consciousness Technlogy he created that takes you through the 6 Levels of Knowing Yourself, including having an out-of-body experience IN the body.

For years he struggled with feeling lonely, sad, confused, powerless, trapped and even suicidal. He remembers thinking about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and repeatedly calling the suicide hotline. Years later, after having one-on-one sessions with so many amazing coaches and healers, he discovered the relationship between feeling and thinking, between events and their meaning, between the part of him that feels painful emotions and the part of him that is always free. He learned how to be in touch with that part of himself that is free and clear no matter what negative emotions he feels. Eventually he learned how to help others get in touch with it too. As a result, Kundan now takes clients from their struggle and confusion to a place of freedom and simplicity. For more about the 6 Levels of Knowing Yourself, click here. You may also follow him on Facebook for daily inspiration, tools and resources to better handle your emotions and create more fulfilling relationships. His latest project is 100 Days of Co-Creative Soulful Relationships.

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