January 18, 2016

If you Want Her, You must Claim Her.

Insomnia Cured Here/Flickr

Author’s Note: While this is written in traditional heteronormative language, it depicts energy states (masculine/feminine) that are not gender specific, nor exist only in heterosexual relationships. Each of us hold these energies and tend to have one that is more pronounced.  It is up to you to determine which energy is more authentic to you and how you express that.

She is the high-value woman who has captured your attention, your mind and perhaps even your heart.

You know her because she is self-possessed, grounded and conscious. She is aware of her worth without being arrogant or prideful. She has standards and behaves accordingly.

She’s not needy, insecure, dependent or boring.

She is magical and inspires you to be the best version of yourself.

By her very presence and commitment to being her best self, she will illuminate the ways in which you’ve denied your hearts longing and bypassed living for simply existing. She will invite you to do more, be more and embrace life in all its fullness.

A high-value woman waits for no man.

She will not play games. Your heart is safe with her, but she will not stop her life to wait for you to decide. Her integrity is intact.

She will not compromise or sell out for attention or a smidgen of love. Her life is full and fulfilling, so she will not orbit around you. Nor does she want that from you. With her own life full, she will not promote you to leading man status until you’ve earned that space in her world.

There will always be a piece of her that she keeps back until you choose her. It’s not that she is hiding or withholding, but she knows that her heart is a treasure she will only offer to the one who has clearly stated his desire for all she is.

Her love is pure and fierce. When she’s all in, she will be completely yours. She will stand beside you every step of the journey.

But first, you must claim her.

If you have seen her worth, you can bet that others have as well. While you may have caught her attention, you will not fully have her until you’ve claimed her.

She will not put all her eggs in a basket that clearly isn’t hers. The high-value woman may have deep feelings for you—she may even love you—but until you’ve chosen her, she will not fully invest in you. She will remain open to the possibility of another man entering her life even if she really wants you, because she knows that the man she ultimately wants in her life is one who is willing to take a stand for what he wants—including her.

She is reserving her deepest love for a man with integrity, whom she can fully trust. If you choose to claim her, you will feel her surrender into you.

Her edges will soften, her heart will open fully and the love she feels for you will overflow. Her openness and vulnerability may break you wide open, ushering you into places that have only existed in your dreams.

But first, you must claim her.


Relephant read:

Take me like a Man.


Author: Lisa Vallejos, PhD

Editor: Nicole Cameron

Image: Insomnia Cured Here/Flickr



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Thérèse Jan 21, 2016 5:17am

I enjoyed your article, but you so easily could have made it more appealing to a wider audience if you had not made it “written in traditional heteronormative language”. I get that you are most likely unwilling to make this gender neutral, I sensed that from your commentary, but you did write about the female. Not all females are attracted to males. You do suggest that somewhat in your opening note, but I wonder how simple and easy it would have been for you to adjust the very few words (A grand total of “5” words.) so that, while not talking about men in specifics, you could have gender neutralised the article. I have taken your article, provided the proper credit to you with an additional note, and rewritten it to be gender neutral and will post to my community. I believe there is value in what you have said here, but saddened that you were not willing to adjust to a wider audience. It’s always about choices, we have the power to make them or not make them. The LGBT global economy is estimated at 10 billion (US dollars). We choose to provide services to whomever, but if one is not willing to go there, because of some political/socio/religious belief, you’re leaving monies on the table that could improve one’s income!

Kind regards

Valerie Murphy Jan 18, 2016 8:25pm

Awesome reply!

And Byron…it sounds as if someone has hurt you or disappointed you. I think you’re condescending remarks of this very well written & powerfully true article make that apparent. It’s always a difficult time when someone we care about hurts us, & it tends to come in stages; anger & arrogance just a couple of the negative, but necessary ones. Once you reach a place of raw honesty though, the more beneficial stages will come; accountability & compassion being a couple. That’s when the real inner growth occurs & the authentic expression happens. Maybe at that time you’ll be able to look back on this & the place you were in emotionally, & realize all the expectation you placed on another. Perhaps the message of these very simple concepts in the article above being naturally present in a healthy union when you’re creating something from a genuinely inspired heart & mind, will be easier for you to grasp then.

It can be a long process, but it’ll be clear when you start that journey, & worth it….to you & the person you share it with.

Byron Jan 18, 2016 1:38pm

“”But first, you must claim her.”” Wasn’t that supposed to be the purpose of the article? I wonder what “average” people all over the Earth think of such tippity top high standards to achieve in our lives. Most of us are happy to raise our children in a dry and safe place.

Perhaps you could tell us how “average humans” can claim a partner. and perhaps as a start to all the glorious unveiling of her insides…TO AVOID DIVORCE. That right there affects about 50% of western families. Not quite ready for the majestic goddess to appear, how about the woman down the street?

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