This morning while slowly waking up I realized that my mind was already busy with several thoughts, even before I was fully awake and aware of them.
Normally I would jump into gear with my to do list loudly nagging, forcing me out of bed and into action.
Today I stayed still and noticed.
How did I feel?
Heavy. Blah. Sad. Worried. Fearful.
Instead of just letting my feet hit the floor I made the choice to just lie there for a little while and learn. I am a huge fan of Michael Neill and Byron Katie. Both teach that our reality, our experience in life, is based upon our thoughts and that when we question our thoughts we have the ability to completely change our experience. Because of this l understand my need to examine my thoughts in order to unravel my feelings of the morning.
So I began exploring my feelings, working backwards to my thoughts. If I’m feeling fear…why? If I’m feeling a little sad…why? What was going on inside my head that was causing me to feel this way?
I tried as best I could to remember any dreams from the night before. I’m not able to remember much, but there are remnants of a few.
They are not good dreams.
Without going into detail there were many visits from my past. The overwhelming feeling in one dream was a massive amount of pressure from others’ expectations of me and my inability to fulfill those expectations, letting people down, being rejected because of this and finally, feeling rejected, abandoned and alone.
In another I was outside of my parents’ home with my children watching a beautiful thunderstorm with big dark clouds, thunder, lightning and huge drops of rain. It was gorgeous and exciting until lightning hit a small building in the back and it caught fire, the way it happens in the movies. Like a spark igniting dynamite you see lightning hit the building and in a long straight quick path it moves towards my parents house. I run as fast as I can into the house for the fire extinguisher that has been in the same location since I was a child…and it’s gone. I absolutely panic, as I know that I need to put out the fire but the one source of protection I’ve always known and counted on to be there is gone.
Understanding that those are the two dreams I remember, it is not surprising to me what I was feeling first thing in the morning.
This is where it gets good.
I can change my thoughts.
By simply becoming aware. By taking notice. By questioning my thoughts and my stories.
Instead of jumping out of bed with those same somewhat negative feelings, I stayed still until I’d questioned them for truth. I stayed still until I replaced those thoughts with feelings of love, hope, and excitement. I thought about some fun things happening in my life right now. I thought about what I am grateful for, what I wanted to blog about today, how I wanted to experience today, how I wanted to show up today. I didn’t just apply the power of positive thinking. I didn’t just lay in bed and think about rainbows and butterflies (not that there is anything wrong with that), I thought about my life and what I had in that very moment to be grateful for and happy about.
And that is when the shift occurs. We shift when we shift our thinking.
The sad, heavy, fear went away. It was replaced by excitement, anticipation and joy.
While I was laying there quietly working through all of this I remembered a quote or a saying I’d read somewhere, I don’t remember where so I can’t give credit to the author but I think of it often:
“Most people spend their time digging for dirt, be the one who digs for gold.”
When we follow old habits, allowing negativity to run quietly in the backgrounds of our minds unquestioned, we are unconsciously digging for dirt.
Imagine that each thought that we attach a feeling to, conscious or unconscious is a magic seed. There is a field of pure potential just waiting for us to discover it and to plant our seeds there. In this field there is no good or bad, just extremely fertile soil waiting to co-create and gift to us whatever it is we’ve asked for with our little seed.
When I allow a thought to go unquestioned, and attach a feeling to it, good or bad, I have just created a vibrant little seed and planted it in that fertile soil of pure potential. While I am either joyously, excitedly, moving though my life expecting good things or slowly, sadly, surviving yet another day waiting for things to get better (all the while giving tons of energy, thoughts and feelings to the things I don’t want) my little crop is growing and being gift wrapped and delivered to me. Whatever I planted and asked for is on its way.
Today, let’s consciously start planting seeds of abundance, joy, creativity and good. If you notice yourself feeling down, discouraged, sad, depressed, frightened, frustrated or whatever—stop. Question it. Either turn it around or replace it with what is working in your life. Attach a new feeling to a new thought. Plant a new seed. You will be amazed at what begins to show up.
Keep a journal. Begin with your feelings and work backwards .If you notice yourself feeling something, follow the feeling back to the thought that created it. What kind of seed are you creating? A good seed? Great, send it on. A not so good seed? Let’s not send this one. Question the thought, turn it around or replace it and begin sowing seeds of abundance and joy.
Author: Trudy Stoner
Editor: Travis May