As humans, we all play victim to negative self-talk at one point or another. As much as I wish I could claim to be the exception to this, unfortunately this is not the case.
After many moments of thinking in a self-critical manner, there is one thing I have told myself over and over that has had the most negative impact in my life thus far:
I am “stuck.”
We have all told ourselves this.
We want so desperately to part ways with our job to pursue a more fulfilling feat, but we feel as though we are stuck. The risk is too high. The pay is too low. So, we tell ourselves we are stuck.
We yearn to embark on that trip to Bali we have been contemplating all year, but we feel worried about the finances, so we stay home instead. We feel stuck in our current pattern and daily routine.
We daydream of finally meeting a life partner or creating the family we have always dreamt of, but when it comes to facing the vulnerability of falling in love, we feel uncomfortable in our efforts. So, we remain stuck in our comfort zone.
Essentially, each time we fantasize about something and never see it actualized in our lives, we are falling victim to this state of being stuck where we currently are.
While I still fall victim to this at times today, only a few short years ago this feeling dominated my existence. I was feeling particularly stuck, and I regularly convinced myself it wasn’t my fault.
I was dissatisfied with the current conditions I was experiencing. I felt displeased with the way in which my life was progressing.
As a result, I found myself dreaming of a different life scenario. I routinely dreamt of taking my first trip out of the country. I regularly found myself lost in thought of finding the person who would love me unconditionally as a life partner. I contemplated what my life would be like if I had the courage to start writing—to pursue a field of work that electrified my heart, regardless of the fact that it wasn’t labeled as “normal,” and live life exactly the way I wished.
I had many dreams, so why were’t any of them materializing in my reality?
After digging a little deeper within myself, I uncovered the countless justifications I had created for each of these scenarios. Simply put, I told myself I was stuck in these current situations.
But deep down, I knew I wasn’t really stuck. I knew the truth: being stuck was only an illusion I was creating in my mind.
I knew this illusive way of thinking was harmful. The illusion of being stuck certainly would not lead me to any of the destinations I so deeply desired for my life. So, I created a few reminders—“mantras“ I could come back to each time I fell into this pattern of thinking:
1. I will be conscious of the times I fall into the trap of the “victim role.” Telling myself I am “stuck” in my current jobs, relationships or cities is only allowing myself to act as life’s victim. I am never stuck in any situation, and I must always vow to commemorate this power. Nobody is grabbing me by the sleeve or forcefully acting as the cause of my resistance to my own life’s progression. Only I am. I am the only one responsible for my freedom, and it is my job to execute this freedom at my own will. I am not a victim to any situation in my life.
2. I am worth more than the “easy way out.” Each time I tell myself that I am stuck in life, I am taking the easy road. It is easy to creates excuses in my head or tell myself I lack for alternatives. But I know I am worthy of much more than a road commonly considered to be easy. So, I will vow to always challenge myself to discover a way to turn my daydreams into reality.
3. I will be observant of the excuses I create in my mind and recognize the truth that they will not get me far. The mind is abundantly delicate. It can trick us into trusting the justifications of our own doubts and excuses. But as my mind attempts to convince me of these excuses, I will remember that I am never truly stuck. There is seldom a case where my excuses are my truth, and I will always take the time to remember this.
With these mantras in mind, we can leave our patterns of feeling stalled in our life’s progression behind. Instead, we can take the trip. Change our job. Go on that date. Travel the world. Listen to our heart’s heaviest desires.
And as we do, we will feel a sense of liberation in taking the responsibility of being in the driver’s seat of our own lives.
“At any moment, the decision you make can change the course of your life forever.”
Author: Natalie Lucci
Editor: Toby Israel