5 Ways in which Mr. Trump is like that Narcissistic Ex-Boyfriend or Crazy Ex-Girlfriend who will Destroy your Life.
“Ego’s tendency is to push away what it does not want and cling to (and smother) what it does want. Perversely, ego keeps us unhappy. Reverse the flow—think of others first and begin to truly fully madly deeply enjoy life.”
The Pope is right, Mr. Trump.
Fear-mongering is un-American. They—illegal immigrants, whomever—are not the enemy. The enemy is aggression, self-righteousness.
This isn’t even a “Buddhist” point. Read any business book, and it will describe as key a willingness to listen, to invite in criticism instead of surrounding oneself with yes-men, to bring people together through inspiration instead of threatening with lawsuits, blandishing with fabrications ($10 billion!), and resorting to ad hominiem attacks. That doesn’t build people up, it destroys them.
It is possible, of course, to succeed in this world by taking advantage of others. But that’s not America, or the America we would like to live in or love.
So next time you talk with a Trump fan—or if you yourself are one (I, too, enjoy his unbridled willingness to say whatever—which is not the same as honesty), consider whether you’d want your son or daughter or friend to date such a human being.
1. His solutions to any problem is “I’ll take care of it personally.” No specifics. Just confidence in his own charm. This is a great quality for a hustler to have, but doesn’t work in a relationship. You can’t just charm complex problems away—you can’t even charm a truck into working again. Sometimes, you have to know, and learn, how to fix a truck. And to know how to fix something, you have to be willing to listen, and ask dumb questions.
2. His response to any lack of understanding is “I’ll understand it better than you…later.” Again, he rests his confidence in his charm, instead of his actions. Sometimes, you need a partner to show up, not just talk a good game.
3. His summation of his own merits and wealth is wildly overblown. It’s not enough to talk a big game—reality, and honesty, are vital in any relationship.
4. His penchant for destroying rivals and, in a similar way, feeding off those who would agree with him, defines weak, insecure narcissism. Life is not us vs. them. As we’ve seen with his past wives, he’ll turn on what he loves when it’s no longer convenient for him, or attractive to him. IE, he loves nothing but himself—his wives, even, are trophies, not best friends.
5. He will f**k you, and leave you…America. Life is not about getting, it’s about giving. And when we give, we experience true joy, and create peace.
That’s what we want in a President—and, you know, a lover.