While touching is incredible, it often distracts from the energetic exchange between couples. Returning to purely energetic exchange can be very useful, providing a strong connection between two partners.
Exchanging energy is legal in all states and countries. It never causes pregnancy, but generates more energy and loads of orgasmic feelings. When you are touching, supported by the underlying energetic exchange, you become a dynamic duo.
There are three aspects of you: jing which is your substance or bone, chi which is your muscle and flesh, and shen which is your spirit.
Energy flows from jing, to chi and then to shen. Our meditation will follow that path.
Beginning the meditation: Bones
This meditation works over FaceTime or the phone, but is best done in person. Cuddle up together, close but not touching: make sure you are comfortable.
Feel into your self beginning with your bones. Focus your attention on the solidness there, and their low, slow vibration. Take several minutes noticing your huge leg bones, tiny finger bones, and all bones in between.
Let your focus of attention flow from the top of your skull, through all your bones and back down into the earth. Then flow it up again at its own rate. Notice how your bones come alive, vibrating ever so slowly the structural pulse of you.
Bones love attention!
Once you are fully feeling into your bones, bring your attention to your partner’s bones. And explore theirs as you did your own until your bones come together. The two of you with one wonderful set of bones, deeply connected and celebrating the solidness of you.
Attention on your bones provides a strong foundation for your connection. As you tune the connection of your bones your flesh and spirit will follow, encouraging relating to your partner coming from a place of unity.
Bring your attention back into just your body, and focus it on your flesh. The large muscle groups of your legs, your arms and all the tiny muscles that make movement possible and fluid.
Shower all the soft tissues in your body with attention. Notice that they vibrate at a much faster, less solid rate than your bones do. Let your attention wash over and through all muscles, nerves, ligaments, cartilage, nerves and skin.
Let your attention hang out wherever it does for as long as it does. And when your soft tissue is flowing focus your attention on your partner’s muscles, bones, and gentle flesh.
At the same time your partner will support your soft tissue with their attention. The exchange of attention on physical form offers a profound, flexible connection that can weather the storms that a relationship must.
Blend your flesh with your partner’s flesh as you become one flesh, unifying your actions, because it is the muscles and soft tissues that define your movements.
Let the energy flow between the two of you as long as you want. Notice the pleasure as the boundaries between you disappear. Your flesh is their flesh and their flesh is your flesh.
Now bring your attention back to you. This time focus on your spirit.
Spirit isn’t real, in that it doesn’t have any physicality to it. Its vibration is fast. It is the ghost in your machine and inhabits every part of you. It dances in your kidneys expressing the life force, it sets fire to your heart and makes all your other organs serve the sweet purpose of balancing your desires and pleasure centers.
Attention on spirit provides the grounding it needs. So take your time. Spirit is the force that isn’t force, the presence that isn’t there. Spirit is the intangible piece that makes relationship possible when none seems to exist. Spirit holds you together in any sort of relationship weather.
Shift your focus to your partner’s spirit for a while, enjoying how flexible, creative and ephemeral their spirit is. You can’t contain their spirit, but you can give it attention and in return it will offer you timeless connection.
Now that your bones, your flesh, and spirits—your jing, chi, and shen—are all dancing together, it is time to connect with your sexual energy.
Focus attention on and around your genitals. Welcome any arousal that hangs out there. And invite your sexual energy to increase around your genitals. This may feel like heat, excitement or both.
If you are a man, focus attention on your penis and your scrotum. If you are a woman, ignite your vulva, vagina and entire sexual area to join in. Include your nipples, your skin or anywhere that sexual energy may be lurking.
If at first your sexual energy doesn’t rise just notice any sensations at all around your sexual organs. No need to rush or have any particular sensations: just relax.
Take whatever sensations show up on a tour of your body including your bones, flesh and spirit; let them continue to flow into your partner’s body as well. Fill up with each other’s sexual energy or whatever sensations have appeared.
Enter the world of your partner’s sexual energy without entering them physically.
Let energy do the touching for you as you continue to exchange your sexual energy. With practice you will feel each others sensations. Let that arousal and desire fire up and fill all of you.
You don’t have to touch. You can let energy do the exchange for you. What follows is deep, sensual, sexual experience without being physical. Relax into the flow between the two of you.
As always, take your time and when you are ready slowly reclaim your own sexual energy, or conclude your session with sex and sharing orgasms: either way is fine.
A foundation of sexual energy
Having an energetic foundation for sex grounds you, having a deep sexual connection makes relating continually rewarding.
Energy connection provides for experimentation, celebration and exhalation.
You can connect energetically anywhere. In fact you are always connecting energetically, focusing your attention on these connections provides bonding that doesn’t need to be created and can’t be destroyed.
Your energetic connection is private, intimate and perfect. It is a celebration of two humans becoming one.
Energetic exchange is powerful foreplay
Help yourself to energetic energy exchange often. It opens you to greater and greater thresholds of pleasure. You can do it for minute or two, 10 minutes, an hour or more. With practice you will discover that your ability to focus attention during sex increases and you are able to make love for as long as you want.
Like tuning forks, you vibrate together, and bringing attention to this vibration is hot.
These deep connections between the energy of your Jing, Chi, and Shen, your bones, flesh, and spirit, and theirs will make every aspect of sex, love and life deeper, richer and fuller.
Don’t worry. There’s no right or wrong way to do energetic orgasmic meditation. In fact, it’s so natural, that you will do it perfectly, and doing it often will remind you of the perfection of how you fit and belong together.
Author: Jerry Stocking
Editor: Travis May
Photo: Flickr/me and the sysop