It was a full moon when she thought of you.
She looked at it with a smile on her face but an ache in her heart.
She looked at it and hated you.
She hated you because you weren’t physically present with her. Your hands weren’t in hers when she looked at that full moon.
She hated you because she may never see your mysterious face again.
Ah, that night.
She went to bed and felt like reaching out to you. She held that phone numerous times and wrote you messages that were never sent.
She remembered how you did her wrong, then she remembered how good you were to her.
She remembered the tears she cried because of you and the smiles that were drawn easily across her face by you.
It’s funny how our emotions become our worst demons when we are alone.
But she wasn’t really alone in bed.
You spooned her and fell asleep. She felt your breath on her shoulder like she always used to.
You slept, but she couldn’t sleep. Maybe because you were virtually there. She was trying not to lose the image of you that was starting to disappear with time, but alas, she failed.
Time already started to turn love into memories and sadly, she can’t chase time.
She tried to chase the beatings of her heart that increased whenever she heard your name, but that too, failed to happen.
How ironic love is.
When we think that we have forgotten, our bodies react in a way that reminds us how vital our love still is.
And her love for you was still vital. Even when you put a dagger in her heart, she removed that dagger and gave it back to you. She would kiss you and gently ask you not to use it again.
When she was hurt by you, she gave back love because perhaps, that’s all she’s ever had to offer.
Ironically, when you were ready to give back love, she was already full of pain.
While years swiftly elapsed ahead of you, she was counting every second of them. Her pain grew bigger by the minute and her love did as well.
It’s beautiful how we are programmed to love. You’re not here, neither is the pain. But her love is still as present as yesterday.
It’s like a cup of tea that’s been freshly served.
A tree that’s about to bloom.
It’s like the moon she was beholding. Although there is a dark side of it, it is full in its original state.
That’s how her love to you is. No matter how dark it gets, it is eventually full.
You were and you’ll always be her earth. She will gravitate around you while the sun casts its fiery light upon you.
Stay with her because she’ll stay with you.
She won’t be physically there but I promise she’ll find her place in your soul.
And I ask you, actually I beg you, don’t forget her because she won’t forget you.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Editor: Caitlin Oriel